Confession: I talk too much. I give unnecessary details. I repeat myself. I interrupt people. I have a story for everything. I’m trying to do better.
“Talk less. Smile More” Aaron Burr in Hamilton
After a three month sabbatical with lots of quiet time, the hardest thing about re-entry is that there are too many words.
- Meetings are unnecessarily long because too many unnecessary words are spoken.
- People dealing with conflict need to share stories, grievances, and explanations.
- Congregations notoriously prefer dealing with policies and procedures than doing real-life “Jesus died for this” ministry.
I’ve been to many, many meetings since September 4th. There have been so many words that I return home late every night without the energy to share my day with HH. I whisper, “I can’t talk.”
Many of us talk too much for countless reasons from our own insecurities to infatuation with our own voices to neurodivergence. I have some thoughts on this:
- Use bullet points. (Lots of text without much spacing makes some of our eyes glaze over.)
- Be concise. Tell me in a sentence what you need. I’ll try to do the same.
- Use parliamentary procedure (or some other form of ordering a meeting.) No you can’t just insert a comment while someone else is speaking. No you cannot have the floor if you came to observe a meeting.
- Respect people’s time. I might be retired and have all the time in the world, but I need to notice that you have kids to pick up from school or another meeting on your schedule.
What I’m not saying: we need to privilege efficiency over relationships. No. The great thing about using fewer words is that we can focus on the relationships.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Talk less. Smile more. Always ask: Did Jesus die for this?
A Church for Starving Artists 
This should be required reading for all church meetings!
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👍🏾
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I’m always making this complaint…with books I read, speeches I hear, sermons that are preached (but I have seen an improvement lately) even newspaper articles. Fewer words, more to the point.
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Oh my goodness, I so do understand…. Awhile back, when my “too too too many words” issue presented, which is often, since I so enjoy a hearty discussion, well, one day, out-of-the blue, I suddenly said, “the short answer…blah, blah.”
It refocused me to do just that, to immediately pivot to my “the short answer…”!
It’s been working nicely(I know…except here, needed to explain 🙂), as it appreciatively shifts us all, immediately, phew🙂
Thank you for sharing.
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You speak truth. I wonder if you would consider switching to “dot points ” instead of bullet points? It is one of those terms that jangles many more these days that it used to for all the obvious gun violence related reasons. A suggestion offered in love.
S
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Excellent suggestion.
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Aye!
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No wonder you and Hari are such good friends!
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