A Church for Starving Artists

William Sloan Coffin once said that he set apart one day of the week to read when he was Head of Staff of Riverside Church in NYC. A whole day.

Two truths about this Reading Day goal:

1. Bill Coffin never had to wait for the boiler repair person to show up or print the church bulletins. (I once worshipped at Riverside on a Sunday off from my rural church in NY and I burst into tears when I realized there was a team of greeters in matching outfits stationed at every door to welcome people. That’s all they did. But it was one of 40 things I did on a given Sunday morning.) Of course he had time to read books.
2. When I shared with my rural congregation that I too would like to have a Reading Day – after they stopped laughing – it never happened because 1) some parishioners seemed to delight in having emergency needs like “where are the light bulbs?” on my Reading Day and 2) why should their pastor get “another day off” to read when they don’t get that in their jobs? and 3) there were actual emergencies on almost every Reading Day.

Now that I’m retired and can read all the day long and sometimes I do.

I have time to read non-fiction with no obvious connections to Church World. I have time to read novels. I can read without writing in the margins that a particular story or quote would make an excellent sermon illustration. Honestly, this is one of my favorite things about retirement.

So, here is my question: Do you read books? Do you read whole books? And are you currently under the age of thirty and and reading whole books? Do you have an occupation that requires you to read whole books? (Kudos to all the engineers who read Ann Patchett.)

A 2024 article in The Atlantic tells the story of a Columbia literature professor whose students couldn’t keep up with the reading. One student confessed that in high school, they had never been assigned a whole book to read. They had read excerpts or chapters of books, but never the whole books.

Was this your high school or college experience? (And I’d love to hear from you educators about whether or not you assign whole books to read.)

And – Boomer siblings – this is not the place to share how you were assigned Remembrance of Things Past over fall break in the 10th grade and kids today are slackers. Stop it.

I wish that young pastors were given the time to read. I wish that congregations understood that their clergy and educators not only need to read all the Andrew Root books but also poetry and fiction and children’s literature. I wish that all parents had the time and inclination to read whole books to their children. I wish we all loved to read.

What are you reading these days?

Image of a favorite writer’s study that I surreptitiously photographed when my preaching group visited their home a couple years ago.

For the record, I’m an equal opportunity offender in terms of my own personal politics, mostly because our political system (both major parties) are brimming with cronyism and Potomac Fever. Power can be a dangerous drug. It’s exhausting to observe.

I’m heartened however by this article noting that in recent elections, successful candidates have been less about the “hostile spending” of millions of dollars and more about inspiring voters. Just like in spiritual communities, all of us – all of us – are looking for authenticity and action.

“If you’re knocking on a door because somebody paid you to do it, there’s just no real force behind that. But when someone freely of their own volition signs up to get out there” — especially in the summer heat — “you, the voter, will never forget that encounter.” Beto O’Rourke discussing grassroots campaigning

It’s about an encounter.

I had never heard the term “hostile spending” but apparently many of the millions of dollars that political action committees contribute to candidates are dedicated specifically to this kind of political priority. Drench the airwaves with false information. Erroneously identify rivals as “communists” or “radicals” or “crazies.”

It’s one thing to share facts regarding criminal prosecutions or provable misdeeds for example. It’s another thing to share disinformation, misinformation, and blatant lies. Successful campaigns inspire hope, not hostility.

Now for the inevitable Church Connectiont:

Imagine how it would feel if all church spending intentionally focused on hospitality: supporting homes for the unhoused, food for the hungry, community for the lonely, welcome for the searching. Intentionally focusing on hospitality might be as simple as asking – before we spend chunks of money – “How is this expense offering hospitality to our neighbors?” Church staffs are agents of hospitality. Buildings are tools for hospitality. It matters when we make those connections.

And now imagine how it would feel if political campaigns intentionally focused on what’s best for our nation and world? Health care for the uninsured. Justice for the falsely imprisoned. Shelter for the refugee. It’s also important to remember that government workers can be agents of promoting the essential tenets of our nation. Infrastructure is a tool for health and safety and peacemaking and service. Global support has long term impactful benefits for our nation and other nations.

I long to be inspired: by the Church, by political candidates, by educators, by health professionals. I refuse to sink into despair (although I have my moments.) I truly believe that most of us long to be inspired and to let go of the hostile spending of both money and breath. You?

“Where do you go to church?” is a question people asked their new neighbors in the 1960s or maybe the 1970s – at least in the South and the Midwest. We all know that physical church attendance in 2026 has not risen to pre-COVID levels. People either watch online or have forsaken the practice of weekly worship altogether. According to Gallup:

In the four years before the pandemic, 2016 through 2019, an average of 34% of U.S. adults said they had attended church, synagogue, mosque or temple in the past seven days. From 2020 to the present, the average has been 30%. The recent church attendance levels are about 10 percentage points lower than what Gallup measured in 2012 and most prior years. Source (2023)

So . . . what are HH and I doing for “church” since relocating to Northern Virginia and moving into the rhythms of retirement. We are asked this on a regular basis by family and friends.

We have so many options: PCUSA congregations we have previously served between 1989 and 2010. Other PCUSA congregations. Other denominations. Non-denominations.

A couple of things I’ve noticed in the processing of retirement after 42 years in professional ministry:

• Many (most?) retired professional clergy don’t do church anymore. Are we burned out? Judgey? Worried about being asked to fall back into a pastoral role?
• “Churches Without Walls” all seem to have buildings. I get that “going to church” and “being the Church” are very different things and we don’t need a building to be the Church. But in my cursory research of congregations named “Church Without Walls” they all have buildings. Some have multiple campuses.
• Many of us (active clergy, retired clergy, church members, once spiritually curious non-members) simply feel weary about Church World especially when Church World involves battles for power, passive-aggressive members (“I won’t make a financial pledge until the pastor comes to my house and begs“), and adventures in missing the point (i.e. more concern about flower arrangements, dress codes, generational disappointment, paint colors, music, protecting bullies, shielding abusers, annual fundraisers than serving “the least of these.”)

So this is what HH and I are doing for church these days. We’ve worshipped with congregations we’ve served at their invitation. (Loved it.) I worshipped with a Church I knew many years ago and they continue to be awesome. I pray with random people (my own Church Without Walls.) And I meet with Church People I Love over coffee while we dream about changing the world in Jesus’ name.

It’s Primary Election Day today in Virginia and I volunteered this morning between 6 and 9 to support a particular candidate. I asked people at Precinct 109 if they were registered to vote and told them that 1) we have same day registration in Virginia and 2) please consider voting for my guy and here’s some information.

Not only did I meet some cute dogs, admire hard core joggers and relish in the diversity of my home town, I talked with a young graduate of Georgetown who was also volunteering. She is amazing. I was obsessed with hearing about her dreams and hopes and “if you were the queen of all things, what would you love to be doing in ten years?” was asked and answered. And in the course of getting to know each other, we exchanged contact info and I was blessed to be a connector for her. She might like to serve in a prison justice ministry? I know someone she could connect with. She might be interested in legal support for trafficked women and children? I know someone she could connect with.

This is my new call.

We retire with a wealth of experience and still-valuable information. And our next calling/our next church involves 1) getting out of the way for the next generations and 2) connecting them if they wish to resources that will open doors.

I love my new church. It literally has no walls. It might involve visiting congregations with buildings. I will definitely involve online Bible studies with Charlotte friends and theological studies with international friends and phone praying/Lyft praying/bench praying with people who may or may not identify as Church People. For now, this works. I love the ongoing journey to meet God’s people who turn out to be my people too.

Image source.

Ever since our personal family experience with ICE last week, I find myself obsessed with George Christopher Zoley (born George Christopher Zolis.) I’d like the whole world to know who he is.

• Young George emigrated from Greece with his family when he was three years old through Ellis Island.
• His family settled in Ohio where George attended public schools in Copley.
• He founded The GEO Group in 1984.
• According to The GEO Group’s website: Mr. Zoley is one of the pioneers in the private corrections industry.
• He received the Ellis Island Medal of Honor in 2002, awarded “to individuals who have made it their mission to share with those less fortunate, their wealth of knowledge, indomitable courage, boundless compassion, unique talents and selfless generosity. They do so while acknowledging their debt to their ethnic heritage as they uphold the ideals and spirit of America.” Source.
• Mr. Zoley is the founder and CEO of the nation’s largest for-profit jailer of immigrants and ICE’s biggest contractor according to CNN.
• Delaney Hall, one of 21 ICE holding centers managed by The GEO Group has been investigated for “inhumane conditions and treatment.” Source.
• According to The Colorado Times Reporter: “Both GEO Group and CoreCivic (the other large for-profit prison company) have political action committees and make substantial contributions to parties and PACS and individual candidates. GEO Group donated $3.4 million and George (maxed out) his contributions to PACS and candidates across the country, with a concentration in Florida, Arizona, and to Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson. All in all, Zoley spent $235,463 in personal contributions during the 2024 cycle.”
• George Zoley reported personally to Motley Fool in February 2026 that “GEO Group reported record-setting new contract wins totaling up to $520 million in incremental annualized revenues, led by ICE facility activations and major service expansions” in the past year. (This is a 700% profit. Source.)
• Zoley’s personal salary increased from $6,448,667 in 2024 to $14,996,950 in 2025. – a 57% increase. Source.

George C. Zoley identifies as a Greek Orthodox Christian. I identify as a Presbyterian/Reformed Christian. And both of us are hypocrites in terms of following Jesus. Nevertheless, I hold up this verse (which contains the Greek word ὑποκριταί (hypocrites) as a word to all of us who call ourselves Christian:

‘But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you lock people out of the kingdom of heaven. For you do not go in yourselves, and when others are going in, you stop them.” Jesus according to Matthew 23:13

Locking people out of the Kingdom of Heaven seems even worse than merely refusing to help bring the Kingdom of Heaven to earth [“Thy kingdom come, that will be done on earth as it is in heaven.“] George Zoley and ICE literally lock people inside a form of hell. I know this, now, from personal experience.

And so I’m praying that God help us figure out how to end this system of greed and cruelty that our taxes are paying for. Our. Taxes. Are. Paying. The. GEO. Group. That matters to me. I hope it matters to you too. Literally, for the love of God, I hope we will remember this man’s name and seek to hold him accountable.

Dr. George C. Zoley GEO Group 4955 Technology Way Boca Raton FL, 33431 – gzoley@geogroup.com

Many people I love believe that vaccinations are dangerous, ICE is detaining violent criminals, and people with brown or black skin are enjoying special privileges in terms of employment and educational opportunities. I love these people. They are wrong.

Through the years I have tried to share what I know to be true with them because of my proximity to people who have died from COVID, been terrorized by ICE, and been otherized in a majority white culture. Sometimes I’m shrill and unhearable. Sometimes I’m clearly judgmental and unhearable. Sometimes I’m stunned into silence (“We aren’t getting vaccinations because they cause infertility.”)

Me to a friend (in shock over the shooting of 12 year old Tamir Rice in a Cleveland playground in 2014 because officers erroneously thought his air gun was a serious firearm): Can you imagine your 12 year old being shot dead in a playground using guns that our brothers used to play with?

Friend: (no response)

Me: Of course you can’t and neither can I because our boys are white.

Friend: (no response)

Something happened in my extended family that changed this recently. For the victim’s protection, I won’t share details. But someone we know well was detained by ICE in an airport on his way to a business conference. He is in this country legally. He works in this country legally. He is a well-educated father and grandfather, husband, neighbor and a director in his place of work.

He was held in one of the most notorious detention centers in the country. Handcuffed. Strip searched. Threatened with deportation to another country. Held for three days until he was unexpectedly released. ICE said they were “sorry for their mistake.” Thanks – but the trauma is real.

Because I am a praying person and I shared this concern with other praying people – some of whom have paid little attention to the abuses by ICE – I had the opportunity to share facts regarding the situation of Someone We Know. Yes, he is a legal permanent resident. Yes, he was working legally. Yes, he loves this country. No, he has no criminal record. I was believed because We Know This Person.

“This is baffling,” someone I love said upon hearing about this. “My eyes have been opened” was another comment.

This is my White Lady’s Work. And maybe it’s your work too: to use opportunities to share what is True about what’s going on in this nation we love.

What doesn’t help:

• Crying. White women: stop crying whether you are feeling ashamed, misunderstood, and/or guilty. Stop it.
• Responding with snark/shrillness/anger. All understandable but not effective.
• Name calling. We are all racists, my friends. It’s in the air we breathe.

As injustice comes closer to us personally, we are more likely to believe it’s happening. Privilege is thinking something is not a problem if it doesn’t affect us personally. The famous words of Martin Niemoller are posted at the exit of the U.S. Holocaust Museum in D.C. and they are as true as ever. It’s easy to ignore what’s going on in other nations, other parts of this country, other towns, other families. But – as the button says – “Obliviousness is a dangerous form of white privilege.”

There are still many, many people who believe that all Muslims are terrorists or all Black men are dangerous or all rural people are uneducated or all billionaires are simply smarter than the rest of us. Not one of these statements is true.

People who look like me have a calling and a responsibility to do the work of dismantling the lies that divide our country and cause us to otherize each other. Today is the day to get working. Also: Jesus commands it.

Many years ago, I was having dinner with three Millennials in a Brooklyn restaurant. One was our TBC who grew up in the Church although her attendance in Brooklyn was occasional. One was her friend who grew up in a different congregation and her church attendance might have been less than occasional. The third Millennial one was a friend visiting from the U.K.

U.K. guy said that he’d heard that I was a Christian pastor and he was fascinated by this. “So you lead a church?” “What do you wear?” It was not the first time I was a curiosity in social circles.

Dinner arrived and the U.K. guy – who mentioned that his family had never been to church – said, “You know that thing that people do before they eat if they believe in God?” And I said, “Do you mean the blessing? It’s also called grace.”

“Yes!” he said. “Would you do that?”

We held hands while I thanked God for our food and the hands that prepared it. “That was nice,” U.K. guy said. “I can see why people would like that.”

For decades now, we Christians who still participate in a Church Community, have crafted our vocabulary, our church liturgies, and our newsletters for a “seeker” population, for people who might have a rudimentary understanding about the Christian Faith or the Organized Church. We used words like “lobby” instead of “narthex.” We refrained from preaching about the Doctrine of Soteriology and spoke about the things of this worldly life that holds us captive. I know churches that exchanged “Vacation Bible School” for “Summer Camp” (which happens to be sponsored by a church.)

A couple weeks ago, I was talking with my Lyft driver about what I do/did for work. He was literally taking me to church for Sunday morning worship. He actually had a Bible on the passenger seat of the car and he told me that he hadn’t grown up Christian or in a church, but he was in trouble and he was trying to figure out what to do.

[Note: This is not the first Lyft driver I’ve prayed with in my life. I never make the suggestion myself, but every once in a while, the Lyft driver would respond to the news that I was a pastor by asking if I’d be willing to pray with them before leaving the car. Coptics from Ethiopia. Sufi Muslims from Senegal. Lapsed Catholics from the South Side of Chicago. I’ve prayed with all kinds of people and consider it an enormous privilege.]

But this particular Lyft driver with a Bible in the passenger seat and burdens on his mind didn’t even have the words to ask me to pray with him.

Would you ever say words around me?” he asked?

Now this could mean several things, but it was clear that he was talking about something like prayer. And so I prayed for him words of hope and healing. He thanked me and asked if he could email me sometime to do that again over the phone. (Yes, he could have been a killer/stalker/scammer.) But I said I’d be happy to share my email with him. He has never contacted me but maybe he will one day. Or maybe he won’t.

It occurs to me that we are at least two generations (or in some places four generations) away from The Churched Generation who might not know the details of”The Good Samaritan” or “The Ten Commandments” but at least they’ve heard of those stories. They might have gone to Sunday School long ago. Maybe they’d played an angel in the annual Christmas pageant.

But we are now neighbors with thousands and thousands of people who don’t know what prayer is, much less know why/how/when to do it. In the last 24 hours, two Millennials have shared that they are “looking for a spiritual community.” They don’t know where to start.

Before we invite them to church, it feels holier to listen to what’s going on in their lives. Maybe we never invite them to church at all (unless they ask.) Maybe they need for us to simply say words around them that offer comfort and peace. The Holy doesn’t need all the stuff we’ve created for the purpose of bolstering The Institutional Church.

Don’t misunderstand me. The Institutional Church has fed God’s children – both spiritually and physically – for thousands of years. The Church has built hospitals and schools, camps and affordable housing. The Church has provided community in a million ways.

Some of us need to step away in a stained glass sanctuary to feel reverence for God. Some of us need chanting. Some of us need Country-Western songs. Some of us need fresh flowers. But God doesn’t need any of those things.

God doesn’t even need for us to say words around people that sound like a prayer. But it’s a good idea to plan for that possibility because so many people are broken and feeling alone. We who know that God Is With Us have been given the privilege to share that Truth with others – not as a weapon but as a holy moment.

While my denominational siblings are in Milwaukee for the PCUSA General Assembly, I spent last weekend at a family reunion to see my blood siblings and cousins and a favorite 97 year old aunt. Since I don’t live in NC anymore, this meant a hotel stay with bad coffee and not many independent coffee shops near the hotel, so I went to Starbucks on Sunday morning.

While waiting for my better-than-hotel-but-not-as-good-as-my neighborhood-coffee-shop coffee, I heard this conversation:

Two Young Adult Women Were Waiting for their Drinks:

YAW#1: So I’m on Klonopin now for my anxiety. What are you on?

YAW#2: I’m scared to tell you.

YAW#1: Don’t be scared. Everybody’s on meds.

YAW#2: I’m not on meds. But I worry about things.

YAW#1: I tried Cymbalta my freshman year but it made me all Comic Sans. (Waving her arms all around.)

Barista: Vodka!

YAW#1 grabs the pink drink.

YAW#2: You told them your name was Vodka?

YAW#1: Of course! I would never give them my REAL name.

I can’t stop thinking about this conversation because it reminds me that

• Jonathan Haidt is right
• People would rather spend a day on the lake than be in church
• Young people can drink pink drinks without worrying about the calories
• Instagram has ruined the culture (the two YAW instagrammed their drinks on their way out.)
• The state motto of North Carolina is Esse Quam Videri (“to be rather than to seem.”)

Successful managers, executives, and – of course – pastors have long been advised to be “authentic” which involves knowing the truth about ourselves and loving ourselves enough to be who we were created to be. Jesus reminds us about the value of worshipping God in spirit and in truth. And after overhearing that conversation in Starbucks, I heard a remarkable sermon comparing the leadership skills of Saul and the leadership skills of David (thank you WG) that reminded me that authenticity is all about knowing who we are and who God is. Saul was all about himself, leading with vengeance, jealousy, abuse of power, and fear while David – although quite imperfect – nevertheless was about the heart of God, leading with truth, humility, and appreciation.

We are anxious when we forget who we really are: people created in God’s image. The transgender woman, the Haitian refugee, the Israeli mother grieving her son murdered on 10-7-23, the Palestinian mother grieving her son murdered in Gaza, the child whose family has died in the Venezuelan earthquakes. You. Me. The young women with the pink drinks.

If we have a clear understanding of ourselves and each other as part of the extraordinarily diverse people created by all that is Holy and thoroughly Real, then we are free. We are free to disagree with each other without hate. We are free to tell the truth without fear. We are free to have the capacity to care for others as we care for ourselves. We are free to be more curious than judgmental.

There are conversations happening at the General Assembly this week about how we treat people with whom we disagree. If we take seriously the teachings of Jesus, we do not mock them or slander them or hate them. We love them into relationship. It’s exceedingly brave and Christlike to love our “enemies” even when they hurt us. Yes, we hold each other accountable and seek what last Sunday’s preacher called “authentic repentance.” (We don’t breezily say “I’m sorry” and then continue the same behavior that hurt people in the first place.)

This is hard work. And it’s also joyful work when the point of life is to seek the heart of God (rather than worry about how we look out there with our pink drinks.)

PS – For the record I have nothing against pink drinks as a beverage choice nor am I anti anxiety meds. Both have their place in this wonderful world.

This is both a belated post about Fathers’ Day as well as a post about sin. I am well acquainted with sin and not only because I’ve seen things after 40+ years of professional ministry. Mostly I’m well acquainted with sin because I myself am a miserable sinner. I could do better every day and yet I don’t.

Last weekend I was thinking about friends of mine for whom Fathers’ Day is rough and not because their beloved fathers have passed away. (Note: many embrace the image of God as Father for the reasons the author Diane Tennis spells out in this book.) So many of my friends and colleagues have had relationships with their fathers that involved cruelty and coldness. They sought the love of their dads only to be ignored if not betrayed. Those dads could have done better but they didn’t.

This is an excellent podcast in which the writer Tom Junod talks about his father who was both a David Niven-esque charmer and an unrepentant adulterer. He was a wonderful father who also brought pain to quite a few people including Junod’s mother.

I was also thinking about a woman named Gudrun Burwitz who adored her own father in spite of his shortcomings. Yes, he was also a womanizer but he also read her stories and wrote her lovely letters and phoned her every day when his work required being away from home. Also her father happened to be the architect of the Holocaust who asked his daughter to call his boss “Uncle Hitler.” After her father died by suicide (although she was certain he’d been murdered) until her own death in 2018, she maintained that he’d been a good father.

Ms. Burwitz’s situation is obviously an extreme one, but I’m cognizant of the fact that all of us fall short of God’s glory whether we are Nazis or unexceptional liars and cheaters. My concern is for those who never acknowledge that they are responsible for the pain of other human beings.

I am a Reformed Christian/follower of Jesus and so – all my life – I’ve been taught that God is God and we are not. It’s not that human beings are imperfect. Of course we are imperfect.

It’s about the fact that in the midst of life’s joys and successes, we could all do better. We all have some weaknesses/mistakes/gravely poor choices to confess. I’m frankly concerned that as autocrats and billionaires (and at least one trillionaire) continue to gain control and more power in this world, there are fewer calls to acknowledge our basic sinfulness.

Can a good father be a bad man? Of course. Can a good mom be a bad woman? Of course.

I remember a church member who was so cruel to his friends. He took advantage of another church leader’s dementia. He used the church to benefit himself. He verbally abused other church people behind closed doors. But his family lauded his integrity and gentleness when he passed away. Their experience had not been the same as the experience of others.

And this is life. It’s rare when there is no one who can offer a kind word about someone’s life (although I’ve done those funerals too.) My hope is that we can become – as they say – the people our dogs think we are. God is gracious. And we can all do better.

“Right hand of God. Right hand of God” Karl-Anthony Towns describing his Knicks teammate OG Anunoby’s game-winning tip into the basket to finalize a 29-point comeback and win for the Knicks in Game Four of the NBA Finals against the San Antonio Spurs

I’m more of a college basketball fan, specifically ACC basketball, and more specifically ACC basketball when all the teams were actually on the Atlantic Coast. But last night’s Game Four of the NBA Finals felt a little bit holy. (I’m so sorry Spurs fans but that game was a spiritual experience for so many people.)

I don’t believe that God cares who wins sporting events, but I do believe that the exhilarating feeling of an unexpected victory or the success of an underdog or the miracle of three point shots from the next county feels like a God Moment. I’ve experienced this personally – my favorite holy sports moment being this one. I was a senior in high school sitting with my brother several rows up under the home basket. To this day, when I watch replays of those last 17 seconds with 8 points down, my heart feels like it’s going to explode again. This is surely what it feels like to experience the Holy Spirit, albeit trivial by comparison.

This is the feeling I felt when I prayed in a courtroom for an innocent defendant who was found not guilty. This is the feeling that I felt when I witnessed immigrants graduating from a church-sponsored computer training program knowing that they’d found employment with dental benefits. This is the feeling I felt when I prayed for my children only to find – with time – that God provided something better than I had imagined for them.

Prayer is not magic. God’s hands are not on basketballs or golf clubs or tennis rackets (or steering wheels or gun triggers.) And yet God is with us through life’s everyday and extraordinary moments. God weeps when we weep and rejoices when we rejoice.

God was with every Spurs fan whose heart broke last night. And God was with everybody who – like me and HH – screamed with joyful disbelief with 1.2 seconds left on the clock. God is with us. That doesn’t mean that God finds us parking spaces or keeps us from making bad choices. But God is surely with us in the aftermath of whatever happens – whether we acknowledge it or not.

Go Knicks.

I have a friend – a tad older than I am – who intentionally never mentions things like the meds she’s on, the joints she’s replaced, or the wrinkles she’s noticed. She never mentions her age in conversation. She never makes “senior moment” jokes. This is her choice and I respect her for it.

I am now 70 years old, retired, on a couple of meds, and have two new knees. I have no problem with sharing this information and I consider it all a joy, frankly. I’m privileged to have lived this long – longer than either of my parents or a couple of my closest friends, all of whom died of cancer. I have not died of cancer – yet. Maybe I never will.

Maybe I’ll get bonked on the head by a falling gargoyle or accidently step into a manhole. I’ve known it to happen.

HH and I moved two weeks ago today to Northern Virginia and now we live in what could be our last move, depending on how often we break our respective hips.

I think of myself as a “young retiree” and yet, as I was walking home from Harris-Teeter (two blocks away) with my cute cart, three different people offered to help me. I wasn’t struggling. I wasn’t trying to lug that cart up a flight of stairs. I was just walking and – apparently – I looked like I needed assistance.

At first, I was annoyed. Do I look like I need help? And then I reconsidered.

Who doesn’t need assistance? All of us spend our days in some form of Assisted Living.

From the rehab patient who needs help getting dressed to the lady with a folding grocery cart to the child who can’t reach the library book, we not only need other humans but it’s really good for our souls to need each other. When we acknowledge that we cannot thrive alone, we are telling the truth about ourselves.

Scripture says “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8)

I would add: “If we say that we don’t need other people, we deceive ourselves …”

Welcoming assistance from strangers – even if we don’t think we need it – builds community. Instead of being annoyed, I’m trying to feel grateful that someone even noticed me. So – thank you Smoker holding the George Will book, Woman who looked older than I do, and Young Mom with the wagon and a puppy. Thanks for offering to help the lady with the folding shopping cart.

But here’s my pitch: what if we were more intentional about noticing people? I’m not suggesting we try to Super Hero ourselves into a situation that someone else has under control. I’m not saying we should be creepy. I just saying that we could notice each other out there with intention and appreciation. Hold a door open. Carry a bag. Say ‘hi.’

Everybody needs a little help.