Anonymous Letters

I wonder if there are statistics on which profession is most likely to receive anonymous letters. Show me a Pastor who’s never received an anonymous letter and I’ll show you a Pastor who either 1) serves a congregation/institution that wholly consists of the most spiritually mature people in the world or 2) that Pastor never says/does anything that challenges the parish culture.

Yes, politicians of every stripe regular receive anonymous threats. And some pastors have received such threats:

• “I wouldn’t be alone in the church building if I were you.“
• “I’m going to spend the rest of my life ruining your reputation.”

Those are my personal favorites.

But there have been many anonymous letters through the years. No threats exactly, but anonymous complaints about me. Anonymous complaints about one of the Pastors in our Presbytery. Anonymous comments about everything from last week’s bulletin cover to an action of the denomination. Obviously I’d rather sit down and talk with frustrated/angry people face to face.

Some say we should simply ignore anonymous communications. Toss them. Delete them.

I’m a fan of reading them out loud in public to the congregation if they occurred in a church context.

Let’s get both the frustrations and the spiritual immaturity out in the open. I call it spiritual immaturity because anonymous correspondence is the tool of bullies and cowards and the spiritually weak. There are some ostensibly upstanding church leaders who succumb to anonymous protests. It’s not irredeemable, but it’s heartbreaking.

I know a pastor who was receiving regular anonymous notes with those weird cut-out letters from magazines like on a bad horror movie. One day, the pastor’s spouse cracked up laughing when she read the latest anonymous note, because the magazine’s address label had not been removed. It was clear who sent the letter and it was from a church officer. The pastor invited the church officer into his study that week, and shared that he had been receiving anonymous letters and – shockingly – the anonymous sender had somehow used a magazine with the officer’s address label.

Pastor: “I’m so sorry that someone has tampered with your mail and used your magazine to send this divisive mail.” The Pastor asked the officer to join him in prayer for the anonymous writer/magazine thief, praying that the sender’s heart would be changed. The officer didn’t show up for worship for several weeks after that. But when he did return, he shared with the Pastor that he was in touch with the anonymous sender and that guy would not be back. The officer then proceeded to be one of the congregation’s most faithful leaders.

If you happen to be reading this and you think sending anonymous letters is the way to address conflicts/remove a Pastor/express displeasure, please know that sending anonymous letters is the action of a spiritually weak and immature person. You can do better.

If you receive an anonymous letter, please pray for the sender. What you have there is a person who needs our compassion. They have lost perspective. They would rather cause enmity than find answers. They might one day be a reason why a congregation has had to close because – assuming the Pastor leaves, the church cannot find another healthy Pastor willing to serve them.

For what it’s worth, I received another anonymous letter this week. The author took the time to put a stamp on the typed letter and then place it through the mail slot at the Presbytery Office. No postmark. Dude – I toss those.