What Did We Learn From This?

As my friend AAM says “Every day’s a school day.” We learn more from failure than perfection, and in Church World we have so many possibilities for learning that we tend to miss.

Situation: We called a young pastor with babies and it didn’t work out. What did we learn?

That we’ll never call a young pastor with babies ever again?
That we need to look beyond our assumptions that “young pastors” will grow our church with other young families?
That just because this pastor looked like someone we were seeking, we missed some red flags that had nothing to do with the fact that this pastor happened to be young with babies?

Situation: People are complaining that we don’t have Sunday School anymore. What did we learn?

That this is surely somebody’s fault – probably the pastor’s?
That we need to interpret more effectively to the congregation that our culture has shifted and while we don’t do 9:30 am Sunday School, we actually have more opportunities than ever for spiritual nurture and participation is pretty great?
That our elders need to discern whether or not even they consider spiritual growth to be a priority in their own lives much less in congregational life?

Situation: There have been recent personnel shake-ups that have left the congregation anxious. What did we learn?

That if we pretend those changes never happened, everything will be fine?
That we really are “like a business”?
That we need to have some Come to Jesus conversations about how we treat our staff?

Situation: Affordable housing is being considered for our church’s neighborhood and about half the church is “very concerned” to the point of protesting the plans at a City Council meeting. What did we learn?

That our church is more divided than we realized?
That we “don’t talk about politics” for this very reason?
That we need to have conversations about what’s meant by affordable housing? (It could mean housing formerly unhoused people or it could mean housing nurses and teachers who can no longer afford to live in our zip code.) And we need to have conversations about what the Bible says about neighbors? And we need to look at our whole culture of mission. (Is it about sending checks to other continents or is it about building awareness and forming new relationships?)

I’m sort of – but not totally – surprised when churches so quickly move on after staff revisions, traumatic losses, financial shifts, demographic changes, and unexpected blows. I’ve worked with congregations who literally say “Let’s pretend like that never happened” after a church-splitting disagreement. I’ve worked with at least one church who elected a Pastor Search Committee the Sunday after their pastor dropped dead. I’ve known churches so conflict avoidant that they simply stopped talking to each other in meaningful ways. The come to church. They say “hello.” They worship. They go home.

There is something to learn in every situation. Usually it’s more than the decision to cast blame or shut down or leave. Growing pains usually hurt a little bit. But growing and learning offer so much possibility. So. Much. Possibility.