Which Job is the Wettest? The Heaviest? Requires the Least – and Most – Education?

This article by Andrew Van Dam taps into my obsession with both statistics and calling.

It’s a rare privilege to serve in a “calling” rather than a mere “job.” Few people are called to be nut sorters (read the Van Dam article) or telemarketers, and yet when we are talking about our life purpose we are also talking about the meaning of life and God and that Billie Eilish song.

I was recently in a seminary meeting in which the speaker shared that professional ministers require 65 competencies which probably ranks #1 for all vocations/jobs. Those competencies were not specifically named but I can venture a guess:

Preaching/Teaching/PublicSpeaking/FinancialManagement/PeopleManagement/Cheerleading/BedsideManner/BoilerRepair/CommunityOutreach/Visioning/Evangelism/CommunityOrganizing/NonProfitManagement/WindowReplacement/Hospitality/ProjectManagement/Prayer/RetreatPlanning/CoffeeService/GriefCounseling/PreMaritalCounseling/BaptismCounseling/AddictionCounseling/Connector/Praying/Exegesis/ConflictResolution/Researcher/Equipping/YardMaintenance/TechSkills/MultiMediaSkills/WorkLifeBalance/LifelongLearning/BoundaryTraining/AntiRacismTraining/CulturalAwareness/SacramentalEffectiveness/PersonalBoundaries/Warmth/FamilySystemsTraining/Compassion/LeadingChange/BullyMaintenance/StaffManagement/SpiritualGrowth/SocialWitness/ProblemSolving/OrganizationalLeadership/MinorElectricalRepair/RodentControl/HistoricalResearch/CemeteryMaintenance/OfficerTraining/Coaching/FirePrevention/BasicMentalHealthFirstAid/SpiritualPractioner/Exorcism/FakingExtroversion/CarryingATune/Writing/Faithfulness/GoodHumor/SelfDifferentiation

Note to all Pastoral Search Committees, Seminarians, Committees on Preparation for Ministry:

• No, we will not find anyone with all these competencies.
• Yes, many of these competencies are superfluous, contextual, and random.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics . . .

• The wettest jobs are nurse midwives and animal caretakers (tie).
• The job requiring the heaviest lifting is firefighter.
• The job requiring the most standing up is butcher.
• The job requiring the most work experience is engineering manager.

Clergy were nowhere to be found in this report.

Professional ministry also involves wetness, heavy lifting, standing up and work experience. But I’d like to suggest to our friends in the BLS that

The role requiring the most emotional intelligence is Professional Clergy.

Pastors lacking preaching skills or financial management can nevertheless be excellent ministers if they have people skills. Pastors who love their people – even the bullies and the broken – tend to be successful clergy people and by “successful” I mean that over the course of one’s ministerial career, there will be inspiration, community, and some semblance of personal and corporate transformation.

What were we made for? What is our calling?

The cool thing about being a professional pastor is that our role is to shepherd other people as they grapple with those questions for themselves. How do we measure how well we have connected people to God and to each other? We can’t. And yet – if we are extremely fortunate – we see the fruits of our competencies every once in a while.

Image of Billie Eilish from her video “What Was I Made For?”