A Church for Starving Artists

What I wonder is this: “Can you love your pastor?” 

I felt queasy when I heard a preacher say this from the pulpit.  It was painful.

While all pastors want to be well-liked, respected, and even loved, that’s not why we accept the call to professional ministry.  Good pastors often have to make decisions that disappoint people or even anger parishioners.  And God knows not all parishioners are loveable.

But we are called to love God’s people, to show them what the love of Jesus looks like, and to pray even for our enemies.  Our job is to love them, not to aspire to be loved by them.

I believe this is one of the keys to effective ministry.  This is why we need emotionally healthy church leaders.

If we have not experienced unconditional love ourselves, it’s very difficult to offer that love to God’s people.  Clergy with deep emotional needs cannot themselves do the hard work of ministry until those needs are addressed.  I remember Nadia Bolz-Weber saying “we preach from our scars, not from our wounds.”

Yes, even clergy have emotional needs.  There are times when parishioners support their pastoral leaders with casseroles and hospital visits and get-well cards and prayer.  Pastors get sick and grieve and experience difficult situations.  But it’s not the congregation’s job to be the primary support system for the pastor.  And God is supposed to be the object of our adoration, not the pastor who points to God.

Vulnerable pastors inspire growth.  Needy pastors create unhealthy dependencies.  What do you think?

. . .  Charlotte, North Carolina. 

Not Milwaukee.  Not Boston.  Not Chicago.  The largest Roman Catholic parish can be found in the Presbyterian stronghold of Charlotte.  You can read about it here.

Guess where the largest contingency of Bahá’í live in the United States?  Not Massachusetts or California.  According to Wikipedia, The Bahá’í Faith is currently the largest religious minority in Iran, Panama, Belize, and . . .  South Carolina.

There are mosques in Gadsen, Alabama and Madison, Mississippi.  There are Hindu temples in Spanish Fork, Utah and Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

My point is this:  we need to know our neighbors.  We should not be surprised to learn that there is a Buddhist Temple in Kannapolis, NC and a Zoroastrian Center in Flower Mound, TX.  Instead of being out of the loop or shocked or even outraged that there are spiritual people in our communities whose faith is different from ours, we need to reach out and meet the locals.

As people move geographically and spiritually, we are called to pay attention and shift how we best become their neighbors – in the image of Christ.

Image of the gloriously beautiful Bahá’í Temple in Wilmette, Illinois.  It is one of ten Bahá’í Temples in the world and the only one in the United States.

Little boys are watching too.  

Oprah talked last night about the power of witnessing Sidney Poitier win the Academy Award for best actor when she was a little girl.  And there are surely little girls who watch Oprah today, imagining that they too can be business women or actors or philanthropists.

It’s a busy travel season for me, so this will be short.  But as I travel throughout the Church it’s increasingly clear to me that we need more women of color in leadership positions in the church and beyond.  Little girls are watching us and they are brown and black, as well as white and olive in skin color.  Little boys are watching too and they long to see leaders who look like them.

But white children and white adults need to see people of color in leadership too.  White people need to acknowledge that people of color are essential leaders and inspirers and creators in our country for all of us.  The women of color in my own denomination are among the most brilliant and talented leaders we have.  We are missing out if we do not hire them, listen to them, and honor them.

Image of the amazing Rev. Dr. Katie Geneva Cannon, Annie Scales Rogers Professor of Christian Ethics at Union Presbyterian Seminary in Richmond and the first African American woman ordained in the Presbyterian Church in 1974.  Photo from Union Presbyterian Seminary.

[Note: This week, I hope to remind myself of things that will make 2018 a good year for me and for the people around me.  Maybe they’ll speak to you too.]

#3– Life Tip for a New Year: Not All Leaders Are Created Equal

Yes, everybody gets a trophy these days but not all leaders are equal.  I find in Church Word – and I believe it’s also true in Academic World, Medical World, Banking World, Sports World and every other world – that we often have people in leadership positions who are not good leaders.

Maybe they rose to their position because they fulfilled a demographic but demographics don’t guarantee passion or fitness for a particular role.  I was once asked to chair a Singles Ministry in my first Presbytery because I was single.  Nobody asked me if I had a vision for this.  Nobody asked me if I had energy for this particular ministry.  (I didn’t.)

Maybe “nobody else would do it” which means that we should stop doing whatever “it” is, until there is indeed deep calling and commitment to that thing.  If nobody wants to lead Vacation Bible School, don’t have Vacation Bible School this year.  Just don’t.  One of two things will happen:  1) Someone who’s been shy about stepping up – even though he/she feels inspired to do it – is nudged enough to step up or 2) Vacation Bible School has become something “we have to do” not something that makes a positive impact in our community.  If nobody wants to be in charge of the next project that your organization “always does” just don’t do it – at least this year.

Maybe someone aspires to be a leader but they have no followers.  Something I learned in Community Organizing Training:  All Strong Leaders have followers.  Notice who on your board does not inspire others, and when it’s time to recruit new members, look for people whom others will get behind.

Strong leaders have the trust of their people to the point that they inspire energy and vision while also holding people accountable. Their people feel safe and supported. Communication is excellent and the only surprises are birthday parties.

You know what weak leaders do.

I pray for solid leadership training in this new year whether we spend our lives shepherding churches, hospitals, businesses, or sports teams.  There is so much we can do to make this world better.

Who will lead us?  There are some excellent choices out there.

Image of the great John Wooden, one of the greatest coaches and leaders of our time, upon his death at the age of 99.

[Note: This week, I hope to remind myself of things that will make 2018 a good year for me and for the people around me.  Maybe they’ll speak to you too.]

Balbir Singh Sodhi was killed because of ignorance – as well as hate.

#2– Life Tip for a New Year: Do The Research

I loved Kumail Nanjiani’s monologue on SNL last fall – especially this part:

Here’s my problem with most racism.  It’s the inaccuracy. That’s what bugs me.  So I’m like, “Do the research! Put in the work! You will see the benefits!”  I’ll give you an example:

If someone yells at me, “Go back to India!” I’d be like “that guy’s an idiot.” But if someone was like, “Go back to Pakistan which was part of India ’til 1947 and is now home to the world’s largest salt mine” I would be like “that guy seems to know what he’s talking about. I’ll pack my bags!”  Just because you’re a racist, you don’t have to be ignorant.  An informed racist is a better racist.

If I truly believe that transgender women want to attack other women and girls in public bathrooms, I need to become less ignorant.  I need to read this book perhaps.

If I truly believe that all Trump voters are racist, I need to talk with some Trump voters personally –  or better, I need to listen.

If I truly believe that all immigrants from Muslim countries are terrorists, I need to watch The Big Sick or talk to someone who has come to the United States from Sudan or Jordan or Indonesia in hopes of starting a new and better life. Get some coffee together.

If I truly believe that all undocumented people from Central America are “rapists and criminals” trying to “take our jobs” maybe I need to talk to the undocumented high school honor student at my son’s school from Honduras and hear the story of his family’s escape from a death squad. Or maybe I need to talk to the tomato pickers in Florida who are willing to work in the Florida sun for eight hours a day at minimum wage because they are that desperate to work.  I met a man there who came to this country after his daughter was kidnapped by traffickers in El Salvador.  He hopes to  save enough money to hire someone to help him find her.  There are many honor students who are undocumented.  There are many undocumented workers who pay taxes and take any job they can find to offer a better life for their families.

We need to know what we are talking about.  Fake news is real (but – ironically – it’s not coming from credentialed journalists and researchers.)  Just because someone tweets it, doesn’t mean it’s true.

Again, I offer this tip because I myself need to be reminded.  If I want my own opinions to be affirmed, I usually take the easy route and believe what supports what I already believe.  Maybe this tip is for you too.  For the love of God, we need to do our research.

Image of Balbir Singh Sodhi, a Sikh shop owner from Mesa, Arizona who had just purchased an American flag to hang outside his business in response to the terrorist attack on 9-11-01 when an ignorant man – thinking he was a Muslim because of his beard and turban – killed him in cold blood.  Unfortunately, there are scores of stories  about innocent people killed because someone was ignorant – as well as criminally violent. 

Also it’s not ok to kill anyone because of their faith.

I was going to call these “Evangelism Tips” but you’d probably roll your eyes.  The truth is that the way we live our lives is our #1 Evangelism Tool in terms of showing people what the love of Jesus looks like.  But that sounds a bit pious, so we’ll go with Life Tips.

This week, I hope to remind myself of things that will make 2018 a good year for me and for the people around me.  Maybe they’ll speak to you too.

#1 – Life Tip for a New Year: Treat our colleagues well.

Whether you are the manager of a tomato farm in Immokalee, Florida or a member of a church or denominational staff, treating people fairly is a Biblical assumption.  Treating people generously is Christ-like.

In real life terms, this translates into keeping our people safe (whether that means well-lit parking lots or protecting them from verbal, etc. abuse) and keeping our people happy.

Many congregations “cannot afford” to give their church staffs raises or bonuses or even Christmas gifts.  Yes, things are tight all around, but a happy, healthy staff leads to a happy, healthy congregation.  We can start by saying “please” and “thank you” after a busy season or a retreat or a big funeral.

Most congregations can find the money and/or the time to treat their staffs to a meal or a gift card or a hand-written note of appreciation.  This is also true for schools, retail businesses, banks, hospitals, and every kind of office.  (I’m looking at you HR and Personnel Departments – if you have them.  If not, this is on you, Boss/Owner.)

If we cannot trust and stand up for our people, we need new people.  (Or it could be that we need a new supervisor.)  If I wouldn’t take a proverbial bullet for my colleagues, I’m in the wrong field or I need to talk to those colleagues about the problem.  Strong teams stick together, appreciate each other, hold each other accountable, and trust each other.

This is a great season to plan to be better colleagues.  It’s not only the right thing to do, but organizations that treat their people well are more successful organizations. [Note:  Good Colleagues are not the same as Best Friends, but that’s for another post.]

Have a great first Tuesday of the year.

. . . the things we have been waiting for become real.  And things we never imagined become real too.
On this very date last year, my friends J and T were alive and well.  Our perfect grand-nephew had not yet been born and I was looking forward to General Assembly trips to Lebanon and Syria and Italy while continuing to serve Chicago Presbytery.

On this first day of 2018, as with the first days of other years, I’m well aware that the future brings both expected and unexpected adventures moving swiftly through deep joy and deep loss.  And because I do not take my life span for granted, this is the day I re-write my funeral plans each year.  They are in my phone and if you happen to be with me on that particular day, look under “If I Die Today” in my notes.  You’ll find what you need.

Some of my death plans don’t change much – cremation, hymns, speakers.  But the letter I hope someone will read at the service will be tweaked today.  (Yes, I’ve written a homily for my own funeral.)

Life is sweet even when it’s doesn’t seem very sweet.  And all it takes to want to live life to the full is to remember those moments in the past when we didn’t realize how happy we were, but then someone we treasured passed away and we wish we’d told them more often how amazing they were.

This could be the year that brings the miracles we’ve always wanted along with the struggles we’ve always avoided. It’s a good day to tell people how amazing they are.  Happy New Year!

Image of the last Edmiston Reunion with both of my parents, 1988.

[Note: Of all the ubiquitous annual reviews, my favorite is The Lives They Lived in the New York Times.  Death and the assessment of one’s life is among my favorite things to ponder. A good funeral makes me want to be more faithful.  A good life brings everlasting inspiration.]

Somebody beat me to the punch when he wrote about Maggie Roche here.  We didn’t know each other but she was a big part of my life.  HH and I attended every Roches concert at The Birchmere for decades and The Roches Christmas album was a staple in our family’s holiday playlist.

We were different in many ways as far as I can determine.  There is nothing about my voice that says “wow” much less “contralto.”  I am not personal friends with Paul Simon.  And if I learned I had breast cancer, I would certainly not wait a decade to tell people.  But the fact that breast cancer impacted her life is something that bonded us.  (Breast cancer is my special enemy.)

Her music brought joy from street corners in New York to Carnegie Hall, and that’s a lot.  To bring joy to the world in every season indicates a life well-lived – even the throes of financial insecurity and isolation.  The fact that her family considered her an angel was only the beginning of this world’s love for her.

One of The Roches’ hallmark pieces was their a cappella Hallelujah Chorus.  But my favorite song was Big Nuthin’.

[Note: Of all the ubiquitous annual reviews, my favorite is The Lives They Lived in the New York Times.  Death and the assessment of one’s life is among my favorite things to ponder. A good funeral makes me want to be more faithful.  A good life brings everlasting inspiration.]

Tom Schmid taught me four things:

• How to grow older.
• How to love my spouse.
• How to be a pastor.
• How to be a parent.

When we were colleagues in National Capital Presbytery, Tom was the wise older colleague without being that guy.  Clergy colleagues, you are probably familiar with those guys who need to pastor-splain even to those of us who’ve been in professional ministry for a while now.  (Seriously, I met a pastor who told me how to officiate a wedding for 30 minutes at an ordination party in 2017.  We’ve been ordained about the same number of years.)

Instead, Tom shared how having younger friends kept him sharp and how eating hot dogs – at least twice a year – was life-giving and how there was no “T” in Schmid and how being a “Golden Roo” was the best and how Beth was perfect.

He adored his kids and grandkids, and he encouraged them to be the people God created them to be.

When Tom became my second friend to be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2017, I was stunned.  We had just hung out in Sherman, TX in May and he was as chipper as ever.  At least that’s what he said.

Tom breathed his last on Christmas Day which is fitting in terms of what he believed about both the Incarnation and the Resurrection.  How beautiful to experience both miracles on the same day.

He was a great and good man.

Photo of Tom from his son Bennett.

[Note: Of all the ubiquitous annual reviews, my favorite is The Lives They Lived in the New York Times.  Death and the assessment of one’s life is among my favorite things to ponder. A good funeral makes me want to be more faithful.  A good life brings everlasting inspiration.]

Jeff Krehbiel’s life is evidence that being a faithful follower of Jesus has nothing to do with the current take on Christianity as portrayed in the media.  He was semi-obsessed with the belief that we should all be working to make the world as it should be, rather than accepting the world as it is. In the world as it is, money is power.  In the world as it should be, justice and compassion rule.

Jeff wrote a little book about how The Bible addresses this.  He believed that God created us to live and serve in community.  He believed that there is always hope for resurrection.  He believed that his spouse and daughters were close to perfect.

On the night that HH and I had a little party to welcome Jeff and Cheryl to Chicago from our beloved Washington, DC, we learned that his father had died.  Just a few weeks later, Jeff learned that he also had cancer.  And just a few weeks after that, Jeff also died.

But Jeff’s legacy lives on as NEXTChurch has fulfilled his dream for Community Organizing Training for church leaders and as interfaith organizers bring justice to the poor in places like DC and Northern Virginia and Baltimore.  He lives on in his amazing siblings and his mom and his colleagues and – especially – the loves of his life.  But in spite of these things, it feels strange to move into a new year without him.

Image from NEXTChurch.  Thank God we can still listen to his voice.