Soul Companion

Let’s call James and Chapin the guest bloggers today.  Easing into the day . . .

Yes, We Can Fire Volunteers

At a recent church meeting, someone complaining about the lack of commitment among her church volunteers summed up her frustration with this proclamation:  “And we can’t exactly fire volunteers.”

Actually, we not only can but should if:

  • They are serving in an area in which they are not gifted (e.g. The Sunday School teacher who hates kids)
  • They are killing the program/event/activity they are supposed to be supporting (e.g. Their attitude sucks the life out of everybody’s energy and passion.)
  • They are not committed, enthusiastic, or aware that what they are doing is ministry.  (e.g. The choir member who blows off practice or the Usher who offends people instead of welcoming them.)
  • They have established for themselves a little fiefdom, even if they complain  (“How long, O Lord!“) as they serve.  (e.g. The Treasurer who has controlled the church financial records for as long as anyone can remember.)

In these days of giving kids “Certificates of Participation” even if they missed half their Little League games or awarding everybody a “Hurrah You Read 3 Library Books” trophy, it’s at least as important to tell people that something is actually not their gift.  Or even if it is their gift, it’s a disservice to the church for the same person to volunteer to chair something or run something for decades.  It’s important for the church offices and other roles to be shared so that more than one person is “an expert” in each position.

God deserves our very best.  And this includes offering the most excellent ministry possible to God’s people.

How exactly do we fire volunteers?

Sometimes the best way is to keep them from volunteering in the first place for specific ministry positions.

  • Don’t pick mere “people with pulses” to serve.  Do we really want to have to beg someone to watch our babies in the nursery?  Do we want slackers to run our congregation?  Do we want immature, irresponsible people to be our spiritual leaders?
  • Not everybody is called to do everything.  God bless the volunteer who says “yes” to baking cookies but “no” to singing in the choir – or whatever he/she simply cannot do.
  • If nobody volunteers to staff a specific ministry, don’t offer that ministry.  If it’s really important to the congregation, someone will step forward to serve.  If it’s not important and nobody volunteers, let it go.
  • If someone wants to be a volunteer, and you know he/she would not be a good match for a particular position, the best thing to do – especially if you are the pastor charged with equipping the saints for ministry – is simply say, “This is not your gift.”  If they leave in anger, let them go.  The purpose of volunteering is not for us, to satisfy our own personal egos.
  • If someone seems miserable in her/his volunteer position, give that person a way out.  Meet privately and ask, “Are you loving this?  Because it doesn’t look like your calling at this time.  You’ve got other things going on.”  Or – “I think you’d be great at ______.”  The person might be extraordinarily relieved to relinquish this job.
  • If worse come to worse, pull the volunteer aside and say, “This is not working out.  This is not your gift.”  It could be the healthiest thing you say for the sake of both the volunteer and the congregation.

Yes, we can fire volunteers.  But we need to consider call, gifts, and pastoral care as we manage our volunteer staffs.  God deserves nothing less.

Thank You!

Back from vacation and headed into the office this morning with – undoubtedly –  mounds of work to do.  But first this . . .

We just returned in the wee hours this morning from our annual beach week with the Edmiston side of the family.  It was our 20th consecutive vacation together, and I am profoundly grateful.  I’m thankful that we all want to be together, that we can afford to rent a house big enough for all 21 of us (although one of the 21 was in a graduate program he couldn’t miss – hence the gap in the cousin line-up.)  I’m grateful we were all healthy.  Heck, I’m grateful we are all alive.

One of the blessings of this trip together is that we are all related by blood or marriage, but not by politics.  This article reminds me that good people can differ on their world view and life philosophy.  I am frustrated when those of us who were fortunate enough to be born in the U.S., get a good education, and live a prosperous life don’t recognize that we started on (at least) Second Base.  When someone believes that a family is poor because they are bad or lazy, my blood heats up.  We can probably name some rich people who are bad or lazy, for the record.

But we, in our family, generally tend to agree on how grateful we should be.  Who gets the credit for a wonderful vacation?  The drivers performed safely.  The cooks excelled.  The kids were (practically) perfect.  But we had little to do with the roads that took us there, the food someone grew, the providence of healthy children.  Spiritual maturity is all about acknowledging that we are interdependent and imperfect humans created by a perfect God. We don’t get credit for most of the good that has come our way. I like how David Brooks put it.

Now, off to work.

Vacation and Beyond

I am so, so happy to be leaving on vacation this morning and this is my last post until August.  But, in addition to seven days at the beach with family, I can hardly wait for these fall events:

  • The World Premier of Becoming Calvin, a play by the lovely and talented Ann Timmons, for all you DC people (or those traveling to Our Nation’s Capital) in September.
  • The release of Sabbath in the Suburbs: A Family’s Experiment with Holy Time by MaryAnn McKibben Dana, also a friend and the person most responsible for the creation of this blog.  You can pre-order it right now.  Excellent choice for group study, just in time for fall classes.
  • The release of Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha and Mohammed Cross the Road?  Christian Identity in a Multi-Faith World by Brian McLaren.  September 11 is the release date and Brian will be traveling all over talking about this timely topic.  Again, you can pre-order.
  • The North Carolina State Fair October 11-21.  I finally get to go this year and re-live my childhood.
  • Ang Lee’s Life of Pi which looks amazing.  To premiere this November.  In the meantime, read the book if you haven’t already.

Hope you all get a vacation sometime this summer or fall.  See you in August.

Churches. Pastors. Stuck.

We all get stuck:  in traffic, in bad relationships, in unhealthy patterns, in institutional malaise, in soul-sucking jobs.

On the cusp of my vacation, I’m pondering how to get unstuck.  What helps in inspiring/forcing a decision for people and institutions?

For people:

  1. Take a vacation.  (Thanks be to God.)
  2. See a spiritual director or therapist.  Be honest with them.
  3. Yell until somebody hears you.  (The Psalmist suggests starting with God.)

For institutions:

  1. Take a sabbath  – from meetings, from the usual worship/Vacation Bible School/Sunday School routine.
  2. Wait until a crisis occurs.  (The roof literally caves in, the pastor dies, the bank account runs dry, the renters bolt.)
  3. Choose to make it not about you.  (New perspective: what does the neighborhood need?)
  4. Pray.  (See # 3 under Individuals.) And then do what God is moving you to do.

Moving, listening, choosing, praying, yelling – all good ideas for getting unstuck.  But deciding to do nothing is also a decision, of course.  And sadly, this is what we decide to do too often.

Defense Against The Dark Arts for Pastors

“You’re the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we’ve ever had!”     Harry Potter (about Remus Lupin, pictured below)

Among the subjects seminarians study are Hebrew, Greek, Old Testament, New Testament, church history, administration, Christian education, leadership, worship and sacraments, preaching, and theology.  There is precious little time for Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, although I increasingly believe they should be required. 

God bless the Revs. Jerald Borgie and Greg Hoffman who have both been identified as the home pastors of alleged Aurora shooter James Holmes.  The Rev. Borgie – who last talked with James Holmes about six years ago – remembers him as a shy, bright young man.  He says that, while he sometimes engaged James Holmes in conversation, Holmes didn’t initiate conversations with him or mingle with other parishioners.

Usually, troubled people approach pastors, not the other way around.  They might seek us out for counseling or to volunteer for something.  Or we might literally find them hanging out in our church buildings or parking lots.

The darkness manifests itself in a variety of ways.  As a parish pastor, I have dealt with:

  • People with bipolar disorder and psychosis (who don’t take their meds)
  • Bullies
  • Domestic abusers
  • Pedophiles
  • The Demon-possessed
  • Trauma victims
     
    In spite of taking four units of Clinical Pastoral Education (including one in a mental hospital) I was not equipped to deal with issues that many church pastors deal with in one way or another.  Perhaps those enslaved by darkness will be among your flock or maybe their loved ones or victims will.  In pastoral episodes I never imagined would become a part of my resume, I have been asked to cast demons out of parishioners and – in one memorable moment in the church parking lot – was taught how to offer this ministry after a stranger from Texas saw a vision that I would need this kind of training.  Long story, but true.
     
    What Defense Against the Dark Arts training have you needed in your ministry?  And is on-the-job training the best way to prepare?
     
     
     
     

 

Repeat After Me: I Am Not a Layperson

Ordination to the ministry of teaching elder, ruling elder, or deacon is a unique order of ministry.  The Book of Order of The Presbyterian Church USA, Part 2 G-2.0102

Repeat after me – if you are an elder, deacon, or educator in the PCUSA:

I am not a layperson.

At almost every meeting I attend, someone says something like:

  • “I’m just a layperson.”
  • “I’m only a layperson.”
  • “We are just laypeople.”
  • “You mean us? The laity?”

And then, there’s the ever popular:

  • I am not a minister. I’m only an elder/deacon.”

What Bible are we reading?  For us Presbyterians, what polity are we reading?  The words “laity,” “lay”, and “layperson” cannot be found anywhere in our church constitution, if  Word Search is to be trusted.

If we are ordained to serve a particular order of ministry (teaching elder, ruling elder, or deacon) we are 1) ministers and 2) not lay people.

We have long called organists, pianists, and choir directors “Ministers of Music” so why is it so hard to call our elders and deacons ministers?  My hunches:

  • Most ruling elders and deacons don’t feel equipped to call themselves ministers.  They are Biblically illiterate, theologically untrained, and not quite sure how to pray with people much less offer pastoral care.
  • Many pastors enjoy being “the minister” as if there is only one and a seminary degree is required.
  • The world calls the pastor/priest/vicar “the minister.”  The world is wrong.

Our congregations are full of called leaders who 1) must be equipped to pray with people, visit them in hospitals, offer hospitality, serve the Lord’s Supper, assist in baptisms, preach, teach, and lead the people of God.  If your officers are not doing this, they are not fulfilling their call.

Someone said, yesterday, as we were discussing all this in a meeting, “Then this means our whole culture needs to change.”

Yes, it does.

 

PS You can purchase a stole like the one posted here.  Yes, you get to wear one too.

Connecting Churches

My denomination calls itself A Connectional Church, and yet too few of our congregations are connected to each other except for the occasional joint worship service at Thanksgiving or during Lent.

Churches in survival mode do not have the capacity to support the ministries of other churches.  (Or they don’t think they do.)

But since the days when followers of Jesus in Macedonia and Achaia reached out to help followers of Jesus in Jerusalem, we in Christian communities have been called to reach out to other Christians to encourage them in their ministry.  If I suggested to most congregations that they should support other congregations, many (most?) of them would say: “But we can barely meet our own expenses.

We are terribly guilty of missing the point.  Our purpose is not to perpetuate institutions.  Our purpose is to expand the reign of God throughout the world.  In other words, we are to make the world “as it is in heaven” – healing the sick, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, visiting the lonely.  This is the reason the church exists.  Ostensibly, the more Christian communities doing ministry out in the world, the more heavenly acts of goodness will occur.

So how might we be better as connecting?

Note:  we are not connected to other churches by merely sending checks their way.  Real relationships happen this way:

  • Healthy congregations planting new faith communities in under-served neighborhoods and suburbs
  • International partnerships connecting churches side by side rather than hierarchically.
  • Wealthy congregations wholly supporting the budgets of the poorest congregations and participating in their ministries.

And churches that don’t believe they can possibly start new congregations or partner with others or support ministries that won’t directly benefit themselves?  Even they can help by choosing graciously to close and allowing their assets to fund new churches.

Image source here.

Ramadan & Chick Fil A

Today marks the first of thirty days of Ramadan and practicing Muslims will show their love for God by fasting those thirty days during daylight hours.  I admire and respect this practice, especially knowing how hard it is to deprive myself of food and water for a couple of hours much less a whole day.

We followers of Jesus can learn something from this practice of devotion.

One of my favorite foods is the delicious Chick-Fil-A sandwich.  Yes, the Classic Sandwich has 440 calories and 16 grams of fat, but it’s incredibly tasty, especially paired with a large sweet tea and waffle fries.  I love how Chick-Fil-A staffers say, “My pleasure” several times as I order.  I love that they are closed on Sundays.  This is how the Cathy family and their employees show their love for God. 

I don’t love this – their stand on marriage equality.  But they have every right to take this stand.I believe they have the right to donate money to organizations they support. 

But also I believe that I have a duty to fast from all Chick Fil A foods as a faithful response.  As lame as it sounds – compared to people of faith refraining from all food and drink during daylight hours – I will be refraining from Chick Fil A for what could perhaps be the rest of my life, depending on their ongoing activities re: marriage.

People who self-identify as Christian are often indistinguishable from people who do not.  Christians and non-Christians alike often live the same way.  We/They eat too much, drive too fast, cheat on taxes, yell at ball games, tell lies, share gossip, and spend money in the same ways.  The divorce rate among Christians is at least as high as that of non-Christians. 

The average person, perhaps, can’t tell if we are followers of Jesus or not.

I love that faithful Muslims live out their faith by fasting for a month each year.  This is not merely a spiritual sign; it’s a visible sign to the world.

The Cathy Family lives out their faith by requiring that their restaurants be closed on the Christian Sabbath and by sharing their wealth with organizations that support their values. 

What are we doing that expresses our devotion to God to the point of sacrifice? 

Do I love God enough to give up chicken sandwiches?  I hope so.

Note: These other companies are known for expressing their religious faith.

What I Love About the Fellowship of Presbyterians

For you non-Presbyterians out there, the Fellowship of Presbyterians is a community created in 2011 of Presbyterians who have ongoing concerns about the theology and vision of our denomination – the Presbyterian Church USA.   Some FOP churches have left the PCUSA to form a new reformed denomination called the Evangelical Covenant Order of Presbyterians.  Some will perhaps leave in the future.  And others plan to stay in the PCUSA but self-identify as part of this special community.

I attended the first gathering of the Fellowship of Presbyterians last August, and I continue to meet with friends who are active in the FOP.  Some are discerning the future of their congregations in light of the recent actions of the 220th General Assembly in Pittsburgh earlier this month.  For example, the issue of changing the constitutional definition of marriage from being between “one man and one woman” to between “two people” was introduced for the first time.  The overture failed, but it was so close ( 58% against, 42% for) that it seems to be just a matter of time until such a change comes.  The youngest  delegates, who were merely “advising” the commissioners overwhelmingly passed the changed definition.  82% of the Theological Student Delegates approved the change and 75% of the Young Adult Delegates approved.

Many Fellowship of Presbyterian congregations will take action accordingly.

I once asked a friend who is an FOP member if I could sign the covenant and join because, honestly, the Stated Values move and inspire me.  They are:

  • A Jesus-Shaped Identify (love that),
  • Biblical Integrity (absolutely),
  • Thoughtful Theology (yes, yes, yes),
  • Accountable Community (totally on board with this),
  • Egalitarian Ministry (God calls women, men, and all ethnic groups),
  • Missional Centrality (a must-have),
  • Center-focused Spirituality (definitely – our core beliefs must be clear and articulated)
  • Leadership Velocity (excellent term; I crave leadership that’s risk-taking, innovative, and organic)
  • Kingdom Vitality (yes, the Reign of God starts here and now.)

These values capture everything I long for in the institutional church.  Well, almost everything.

My friend told me that I could not sign up to join the FOP because I also believe that:

  • An identity shaped by Jesus involves doing what Jesus did: include people on the boundaries.
  • Biblical integrity includes admitting that none of us actually takes the Bible literally.  We pick and choose which passages we like (Leviticus 18:22) and which we write off as culturally dated (Leviticus 18:19.)  The Bible is infallible in that it always and eternally points to the truth.  But we haven’t learned everything about the culture in which the scripture was written and we are working with ancient languages, scrolls, and codices. And God is still speaking as we interpret Holy Scripture.
  • Thoughtful theology involves grappling with difficult matters recognizing that none of us has cornered the market on Truth.
  • Accountability is key, but we won’t take this accountability seriously unless we trust each other.  I expect my colleagues to call me on things.  I am also committed to call them on their behavior as well.  And I am really tired of sexual misconduct.
  • Egalitarian ministry is about unleashing the gifts God has given to all  people, not just the ones who make us comfortable.  A sovereign God gets to call whomever God wishes to call.  And I believe that sometimes God calls GLBTQ people to high levels of service.
  • To be a missional church, we need to address what’s breaking God’s heart in our neighborhoods and beyond.  I believe it breaks God’s heart that we live in a world where GLBTQ kids – or any kids – want to hurt themselves, often because people have told them they are not loved by their Creator.
  • The most central core of our faith involves the grace of God through Jesus Christ and grace abounds for all of us, in spite of our mutual depravity.
  • Again, I love this term “leadership velocity” and God deserves our best in leadership.  Not to repeat myself, but some of the most excellent and Spirit-filled leaders I know in the church happen to be gay.
  • We glimpse the Kingdom when we can be the church even with those with whom we disagree.

Thirteen congregations left the PCUSA for the ECO on a single weekend in June and others will also leave.  These churches need to do what they need to do.  But they are still my sisters and brothers in Christ, and we agree that the church really, really needs Leadership Velocity, and more.  We just disagree on who those leaders might be.  (And more.)