I hesitate to answer this question because it feels self-serving or self-righteous. We moved from our home of 22 years to a new part of the country to follow God’s call about a year ago. It was:
- clear that this was where God was leading us and
- traumatic
But we did it. My husband was called to serve a wonderful congregation halfway across the country. I was eventually called to an interim position where there is more than enough good work to do.
Especially in certain parts of the U.S. – DC, San Francisco, Chicago, NYC where real estate is expensive and it’s difficult to afford a home – pastors seem to stay within those metropolitan areas and move from one church in that city to another if they move at all. But throughout the U.S. – because of working spouses who cannot easily leave their jobs, not to mention kids who are happy in school, adult parents who are close by, and other family issues – there is less moving from one geographic region to another. We like where we are. And moving is an extraordinary hassle.
One of the issues with churches calling new pastors and pastors seeking new calls seems to be that we are hesitant to move to unknown parts of the world. Honestly, it’s more than disrupting. It can be gut-wrenching. Even if we have a sense of adventure, it’s hard to leave home.
We come from a long Biblical line of people who up and left because of a call from God: Abraham, Moses, Jonah, Paul. Some moved under duress. Some said, “Here I am” without hesitation. But God still calls some of us to move.
What would move you to move?
Is it about God’s call? Happy kids? Being closer to family? Better weather? Cheaper real estate?
What keeps you from moving? I’d love to hear what you think.
A Church for Starving Artists 
I did move for my first call and although the people in the general area (neighbors, shop owners, business) were friendly and great, the people in the church were less than hospitable. Every statement began with, ” Oh you don’t know how it is here, we do so and so.” or “Well you don’t know how we do things.” My favorite was “You will have to wait and see how it is during football season, people will not come to anything because we take college football seriously.” Actually, I was from a state where one of the longest running rivalries exists. However, our church members still make it to church come Sunday morning!
Anyhow, after having been open to a log distance move and not getting such a warm reception, I decided, I would not do that for another church.
If folks are less than warm in the way the welcome a pastor, just how are the going to welcome the stranger and who wants to be a part of that?
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Interesting. We get some of this too. Lots of questions on how we are handling the Chicago weather although it’s not that different from upstate NY or Boston or NH where I’ve also lived. The people are very friendly and want to include us. But I’ve been in specific churches that offer the “you don’t know how we do it here” commentary. I’ve watched churches welcome visitors warmly at the beginning of worship but ignore them during coffee time afterwards. I would love to know how to help congregations that consider themselves to be “friendly” to realize that they are not authentically very friendly at all.
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“I would love to know how to help congregations that consider themselves to be “friendly” to realize that they are not authentically very friendly at all.”
One thing I have done with a Session is let them know when someone leaves without ever being truly welcomed or integrated. I remember when family who came very regularly, sat in coffee hour week after week at their own table, yet very few people besides me talked to them. I told Session their names and asked if anybody knew who they were. When nobody did I suggested that maybe we weren’t as welcoming and friendly as we thought.
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“I would love to know how to help congregations that consider themselves to be “friendly” to realize that they are not authentically very friendly at all.”
If you ever find an answer, please share. That’s something I struggled to communicate when I was on council. I don’t think I succeeded before I gave up my seat.
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My wife and I are both ministers and we have moved a across the country for calls a couple of times. We haven’t found an area of the country yet that doesn’t have a chip on its shoulder of some kind (including where we both came from). So if you think staying where you are comfortable avoids the unwelcoming church, it may be because you are part of the local group that feels welcome.
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“My favorite was ‘You will have to wait and see how it is during football season, people will not come to anything because we take college football seriously.'”
I actually laughed out loud at that because that was the first thing I was told when I moved here to take a youth ministry position (that I no longer have). I was planning for fall, and was immediately told, “Oh, you can’t plan anything on Saturdays in the fall because of LSU football.” In fact, the church I worked for had a mass at 5:30 on Sundays that grew by about 200 people in the fall because no one got up to go on Sunday mornings.
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My spouse and I have moved 3 times since seminary and are preparing for move #4. We’ve been close to Canada, on the East coast, and about as far south as you can go. We are definitely ready to stay put for a while, for ourselves and for our kids who are just starting grade school.
We have clergy friends who have limited themselves to some pretty small geographic areas and they have often had trouble finding calls or have chosen ones that they weren’t quite suited for because it was the only option in their area.
We’ve always felt that the match with the church was the most important aspect of a call and so we need to be pretty open geographically.
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I have moved 3 times so far, and would be willing to move a 4th. Up until now, I just moved where there was a job, which meant that my first two calls were in tiny places. Now, my daughter’s needs are number 1 for me, which unfortunately cuts out a lot of communities because I’m not willing to let her be the only black child in her community. This creates a serious limitation (I’m not expecting a diverse church–though that would be awesome, just a diverse town.)
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I’ve moved a number of times but it’s always been in the Northeast. I grew up in Connecticut, and have lived in Massachusetts, Vermont, Maine, New York, and now New Hampshire. Living in northern New England (Vermont, Maine, NH) for 18 years in total now is most familiar to me, even though I grew up in urban southern New England. I am familiar with the culture, and despite the drawbacks, such as a lack of diversity, I am comfortable with it. I guess this is always a plus and a minus. We are told that being comfortable can be an indicator that we aren’t able to challenge, but I find it to be an asset. Northern New England is a fragile place–the economy isn’t terrific even when things are really good, and there isn’t much opportunity for the younger generation now growing up here. There always is a sense that we’re living in a relatively isolated corner that is being invaded by the outside world. But, the important thing for my congregation and the community I live in is that I understand them. It was important enough for them to mention in the letter sent out to the congregation before my candidating Sunday that I was a native New Englander. To be honest, I don’t believe that people in other parts of the country understand New England, although I’m quite sure that people in other parts of the country would say that about where they come from, and it’s probably true. So, at this point, would I move to a different part of the country? No. Anita and I plan to retire here. Now, here’s another part of the package. Anita is from the Mid-Atlantic area, Delaware and Maryland. She had been to New England (Maine) only once before we met. She loves it here. The small scale of the community, the climate, the people, are a comfortable fit for her. She also feels that she would like to retire somewhere in northern NE. We’re home here.
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I wonder if all this is related to all the “Stuff _____s Say” overload. I’ve seen the “Stuff people from DC/Chicagoans/Bostonians/etc. say” and while some of the sayings ring true, others are based on stereotypes or what the locals assume is true. Shared catch phrases and proclivities make us feel like we’re home. People in Chicago talk about wind chill, hotdogs, & wind chill. People in DC talk about undersecretaries of the interior, cupcakes, and terrible sports teams. Etc. etc. It gives us a sense of home. And when someone moves into town it offers a whole “what we’re about” conversation starter.
I was always grateful that my parents stayed in one place throughout my childhood. Really grateful. This played a part when we were raising our kids too which is why we stayed in one place for 22 years. Sometimes call involves the family and I’m assuming that’s good with God.
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Even when I’m called away from my current setting, I’m hoping that I can find another in the same Association. My top concern is stability for my family. As a PK, I lived in 5 communities and 3 school systems before I graduated high school, and I don’t want that for my kids. It remains to be seen whether this is feasible, of course. I’m called to be a husband and father just as much as a pastor, after all, and I want to be faithful to those other callings, too.
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I think it’s super interesting that there haven’t been any comments about whether willingness to move is related to economy–ie, I would move for the right call, but my mortgage is underwater so I’m not really thinking much about that. I’m a single person, so I don’t have to worry about a spouse finding a job or kids being moved schools, but the reality of my mortgage situation is such that I couldn’t go anywhere even if I wanted to, unless some nice person out there is willing to give CitiMortgage $15,000 when I go.
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