In spite of what Ron Dreher wrote in The American Conservative last week, white men are not the enemy. I’ve written about Straight White Men as recently as last week, but – again – they are not the enemy.
The enemy is a culture that considers assault against women, LGBTQIA people, and people of color to be less heinous than assault against Straight White Men.
Here are some ways that Straight White Men (and really anybody who aspires to be a good human) can help shift the culture. [Special note for followers of Jesus: it’s not merely about “what Jesus would do” but also “what Jesus would be.”]
- Pay attention out there.
- If you notice a woman being harassed by a man, step in and stay with her until she is safe. At a party. On a bus. Waiting for a bus. Standing in line at the movie theater. In church. Anywhere.
- If you hear somebody scream for help, please check it out.
- If you notice a woman who is too drunk to consent to anything, help her find a friend to take her home.
- Do not – I repeat – do not attempt to patronize any woman. Do not assume you can save her day. Ask. Her. “Do you need help?”
- If she reports that someone is bothering her, believe her.
- Remember that she probably doesn’t know you. Do not offer to drive her home or walk her home. For the love of God.
- Call her a Lyft to drive her to her house. And pay for it yourself.
- If you drank too much, did something stupid, said something stupid to a woman (or any human) apologize as soon as possible. And don’t do that again.
- If you drank too much, did something stupid, said something stupid decades ago to a woman (or any human) you can still apologize. It’s never too late. Maybe she doesn’t even remember what you are talking about but if you repent, an angel will get her wings.
Bonus: Teach yourself, your sons, your friends that Women Are Not Things Created for Your Pleasure and Entertainment. Women were created – like you and all humans – in the image of God. What we do to other people, we are doing to God.
Thanks and have a good week.
Image of angel wing tattoos.
Your list is very good. I shared it to my Facebook page. I like the idea of talking about what we can do to go forward.
Very good column Jan! The list is common sense and comprehensive.
Thanks for posting.
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