Many people I love believe that vaccinations are dangerous, ICE is detaining violent criminals, and people with brown or black skin are enjoying special privileges in terms of employment and educational opportunities. I love these people. They are wrong.
Through the years I have tried to share what I know to be true with them because of my proximity to people who have died from COVID, been terrorized by ICE, and been otherized in a majority white culture. Sometimes I’m shrill and unhearable. Sometimes I’m clearly judgmental and unhearable. Sometimes I’m stunned into silence (“We aren’t getting vaccinations because they cause infertility.”)
Me to a friend (in shock over the shooting of 12 year old Tamir Rice in a Cleveland playground in 2014 because officers erroneously thought his air gun was a serious firearm): Can you imagine your 12 year old being shot dead in a playground using guns that our brothers used to play with?
Friend: (no response)
Me: Of course you can’t and neither can I because our boys are white.
Friend: (no response)
Something happened in my extended family that changed this recently. For the victim’s protection, I won’t share details. But someone we know well was detained by ICE in an airport on his way to a business conference. He is in this country legally. He works in this country legally. He is a well-educated father and grandfather, husband, neighbor and a director in his place of work.
He was held in one of the most notorious detention centers in the country. Handcuffed. Strip searched. Threatened with deportation to another country. Held for three days until he was unexpectedly released. ICE said they were “sorry for their mistake.” Thanks – but the trauma is real.
Because I am a praying person and I shared this concern with other praying people – some of whom have paid little attention to the abuses by ICE – I had the opportunity to share facts regarding the situation of Someone We Know. Yes, he is a legal permanent resident. Yes, he was working legally. Yes, he loves this country. No, he has no criminal record. I was believed because We Know This Person.
“This is baffling,” someone I love said upon hearing about this. “My eyes have been opened” was another comment.
This is my White Lady’s Work. And maybe it’s your work too: to use opportunities to share what is True about what’s going on in this nation we love.
What doesn’t help:
- Crying. White women: stop crying whether you are feeling ashamed, misunderstood, and/or guilty. Stop it.
- Responding with snark/shrillness/anger. All understandable but not effective.
- Name calling. We are all racists, my friends. It’s in the air we breathe.
As injustice comes closer to us personally, we are more likely to believe it’s happening. Privilege is thinking something is not a problem if it doesn’t affect us personally. The famous words of Martin Niemoller are posted at the exit of the U.S. Holocaust Museum in D.C. and they are as true as ever. It’s easy to ignore what’s going on in other nations, other parts of this country, other towns, other families. But – as the button says – “Obliviousness is a dangerous form of white privilege.”
There are still many, many people who believe that all Muslims are terrorists or all Black men are dangerous or all rural people are uneducated or all billionaires are simply smarter than the rest of us. Not one of these statements is true.
People who look like me have a calling and a responsibility to do the work of dismantling the lies that divide our country and cause us to otherize each other. Today is the day to get working. Also: Jesus commands it.
A Church for Starving Artists 