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My denomination calls itself A Connectional Church, and yet too few of our congregations are connected to each other except for the occasional joint worship service at Thanksgiving or during Lent.

Churches in survival mode do not have the capacity to support the ministries of other churches.  (Or they don’t think they do.)

But since the days when followers of Jesus in Macedonia and Achaia reached out to help followers of Jesus in Jerusalem, we in Christian communities have been called to reach out to other Christians to encourage them in their ministry.  If I suggested to most congregations that they should support other congregations, many (most?) of them would say: “But we can barely meet our own expenses.”

We are terribly guilty of missing the point.  Our purpose is not to perpetuate institutions.  Our purpose is to expand the reign of God throughout the world.  In other words, we are to make the world “as it is in heaven” – healing the sick, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, visiting the lonely.  This is the reason the church exists.  Ostensibly, the more Christian communities doing ministry out in the world, the more heavenly acts of goodness will occur.

So how might we be better as connecting?

Note:  we are not connected to other churches by merely sending checks their way.  Real relationships happen this way:

• Healthy congregations planting new faith communities in under-served neighborhoods and suburbs
• International partnerships connecting churches side by side rather than hierarchically.
• Wealthy congregations wholly supporting the budgets of the poorest congregations and participating in their ministries.

And churches that don’t believe they can possibly start new congregations or partner with others or support ministries that won’t directly benefit themselves?  Even they can help by choosing graciously to close and allowing their assets to fund new churches.

Image source here.

Today marks the first of thirty days of Ramadan and practicing Muslims will show their love for God by fasting those thirty days during daylight hours.  I admire and respect this practice, especially knowing how hard it is to deprive myself of food and water for a couple of hours much less a whole day.

We followers of Jesus can learn something from this practice of devotion.

One of my favorite foods is the delicious Chick-Fil-A sandwich.  Yes, the Classic Sandwich has 440 calories and 16 grams of fat, but it’s incredibly tasty, especially paired with a large sweet tea and waffle fries.  I love how Chick-Fil-A staffers say, “My pleasure” several times as I order.  I love that they are closed on Sundays.  This is how the Cathy family and their employees show their love for God. 

I don’t love this – their stand on marriage equality.  But they have every right to take this stand.I believe they have the right to donate money to organizations they support. 

But also I believe that I have a duty to fast from all Chick Fil A foods as a faithful response.  As lame as it sounds – compared to people of faith refraining from all food and drink during daylight hours – I will be refraining from Chick Fil A for what could perhaps be the rest of my life, depending on their ongoing activities re: marriage.

People who self-identify as Christian are often indistinguishable from people who do not.  Christians and non-Christians alike often live the same way.  We/They eat too much, drive too fast, cheat on taxes, yell at ball games, tell lies, share gossip, and spend money in the same ways.  The divorce rate among Christians is at least as high as that of non-Christians. 

The average person, perhaps, can’t tell if we are followers of Jesus or not.

I love that faithful Muslims live out their faith by fasting for a month each year.  This is not merely a spiritual sign; it’s a visible sign to the world.

The Cathy Family lives out their faith by requiring that their restaurants be closed on the Christian Sabbath and by sharing their wealth with organizations that support their values. 

What are we doing that expresses our devotion to God to the point of sacrifice? 

Do I love God enough to give up chicken sandwiches?  I hope so.

Note: These other companies are known for expressing their religious faith.

For you non-Presbyterians out there, the Fellowship of Presbyterians is a community created in 2011 of Presbyterians who have ongoing concerns about the theology and vision of our denomination – the Presbyterian Church USA.   Some FOP churches have left the PCUSA to form a new reformed denomination called the Evangelical Covenant Order of Presbyterians.  Some will perhaps leave in the future.  And others plan to stay in the PCUSA but self-identify as part of this special community.

I attended the first gathering of the Fellowship of Presbyterians last August, and I continue to meet with friends who are active in the FOP.  Some are discerning the future of their congregations in light of the recent actions of the 220th General Assembly in Pittsburgh earlier this month.  For example, the issue of changing the constitutional definition of marriage from being between “one man and one woman” to between “two people” was introduced for the first time.  The overture failed, but it was so close ( 58% against, 42% for) that it seems to be just a matter of time until such a change comes.  The youngest  delegates, who were merely “advising” the commissioners overwhelmingly passed the changed definition.  82% of the Theological Student Delegates approved the change and 75% of the Young Adult Delegates approved.

Many Fellowship of Presbyterian congregations will take action accordingly.

I once asked a friend who is an FOP member if I could sign the covenant and join because, honestly, the Stated Values move and inspire me.  They are:

• A Jesus-Shaped Identify (love that),
• Biblical Integrity (absolutely),
• Thoughtful Theology (yes, yes, yes),
• Accountable Community (totally on board with this),
• Egalitarian Ministry (God calls women, men, and all ethnic groups),
• Missional Centrality (a must-have),
• Center-focused Spirituality (definitely – our core beliefs must be clear and articulated)
• Leadership Velocity (excellent term; I crave leadership that’s risk-taking, innovative, and organic)
• Kingdom Vitality (yes, the Reign of God starts here and now.)

These values capture everything I long for in the institutional church.  Well, almost everything.

My friend told me that I could not sign up to join the FOP because I also believe that:

• An identity shaped by Jesus involves doing what Jesus did: include people on the boundaries.
• Biblical integrity includes admitting that none of us actually takes the Bible literally.  We pick and choose which passages we like (Leviticus 18:22) and which we write off as culturally dated (Leviticus 18:19.)  The Bible is infallible in that it always and eternally points to the truth.  But we haven’t learned everything about the culture in which the scripture was written and we are working with ancient languages, scrolls, and codices. And God is still speaking as we interpret Holy Scripture.
• Thoughtful theology involves grappling with difficult matters recognizing that none of us has cornered the market on Truth.
• Accountability is key, but we won’t take this accountability seriously unless we trust each other.  I expect my colleagues to call me on things.  I am also committed to call them on their behavior as well.  And I am really tired of sexual misconduct.
• Egalitarian ministry is about unleashing the gifts God has given to all  people, not just the ones who make us comfortable.  A sovereign God gets to call whomever God wishes to call.  And I believe that sometimes God calls GLBTQ people to high levels of service.
• To be a missional church, we need to address what’s breaking God’s heart in our neighborhoods and beyond.  I believe it breaks God’s heart that we live in a world where GLBTQ kids – or any kids – want to hurt themselves, often because people have told them they are not loved by their Creator.
• The most central core of our faith involves the grace of God through Jesus Christ and grace abounds for all of us, in spite of our mutual depravity.
• Again, I love this term “leadership velocity” and God deserves our best in leadership.  Not to repeat myself, but some of the most excellent and Spirit-filled leaders I know in the church happen to be gay.
• We glimpse the Kingdom when we can be the church even with those with whom we disagree.

Thirteen congregations left the PCUSA for the ECO on a single weekend in June and others will also leave.  These churches need to do what they need to do.  But they are still my sisters and brothers in Christ, and we agree that the church really, really needs Leadership Velocity, and more.  We just disagree on who those leaders might be.  (And more.)

After almost a year of working with people preparing for professional ministry, after almost thirty years of working with congregations as their pastor myself, after countless sermons, Bible studies, and personnel meetings, I realize how underrated Teachability is in the church – and perhaps throughout all culture.

– Our best pastors are the ones who consistently want to receive constructive criticism, learn the latest resources and tools, and continue to be in dialogue about theology and culture.

– Our best congregations want to be taught new ways of being the church, are not threatened by someone offering fresh ideas, and are willing to try new things.

– Our best Personnel Committees want to learn how to best support their staff members, better tweak their review process, and encourage their staffs to learn and grow intellectually, professionally, and spiritually.

One of the many downsides of being in Survival Mode as the church is that we are paralyzed.  We are so anxious about surviving that trying new things seems to be a luxury.  Actually it’s a necessity.

I remember a cranky elder once telling me, “I haven’t changed my views on God or the church  since I was ten years old.”

Exactly.

Image of a woman teaching geometry from the British Library, 1309 – 1316, France (Paris).

Would you plant a new church if you knew it would live only five years or less?  What if – in those five years – lives were changed, communities were enriched, and saints were equipped?

My husband recently preached at his home church as part of the 100th Anniversary of that congregation.  He once served a church that was established in 1639.  It’s, frankly, a miracle that these churches are still active, much less thriving but we value churches with long established ministries.

According to the Assemblies of God, 32% of new church plants close within four years.  Common wisdom is that the majority of new churches will not succeed long term.

Several (most?) of the Emerging Churches that started in the past 5-10 years have chosen to (or were asked to) close:  Portico in Charlotte, The Living Room in Atlanta, Neighbor’s Abbey in Atlanta, Holy Grounds in Alexandria, VA.  These communities had much in common (amazing people, holy practices, strong bonds) but they could not sustain themselves for a variety of reasons.

They were successful church communities.

They won’t ever celebrate their 100th anniversary – or their 20th – but lives were changed, communities were enriched, and saints were equipped.  Can this be enough for us?  Can we be okay with starting short-lived new churches?  How long does a church have to live for us to call it successful?

I’d love to hear what you think and believe.

About a year ago, I heard Richard Mouw speak at the Fellowship of Presbyterians gathering in Minneapolis where he made an excellent statement about Christians with whom he disagrees.  He said that if his friends could back up their beliefs Biblically, he could respect them and simply agree to disagree.  The subject was the ordination of GLBT Christians and he cited friends like John Buchanan and Barbara Wheeler among those he respected who came down on a different side than his own.

Ross Douthat’s op ed in yesterday’s New York Times referred to the (liberal) actions of The Episcopal Church over the last weeks.  Among other things,  the House of Bishops voted to approve a rite to bless same-sex unions and  Mr. Douthat claims that this is yet another example of the reason why Sunday attendance has diminished over the last several decades in most of our churches.  The reason denominations are dying?  According to Douthat (and many others) it’s because of liberal activism.

Actually,  Diana Butler Bass’s book gives a more reliable and academic reasoning for these decreases, but blaming liberals is standard practice.   If Mr. Douthat were to talk with the good people at our conservative churches – at least if they told the truth – he would find that their attendance is down as well.  Catholic Bishops are not allowed to discuss such things in public, but their numbers are down too.

The bottom line is that following Jesus involves a commitment that many do not wish to make.

Gone are the days when church was a club with membership perks (a wedding venue, a funeral venue, status in the community.)  Huffington Post just reported new Gallup studies over the weekend that stated that only 44% of Americans have confidence in organized religion.*  That’s an all-time low.

This has to do with what I wrote about in my two previous posts here and here.  We have too many dying churches who are threatened with closure. They have lost their purpose (to make disciples of all nations, to equip the saints for ministry, to teach the way of Jesus) and focus only on survival.  And the sorting of Christians into “liberal” and “conservative” congregations is part of the problem.

The church is supposed to look something like the Kingdom of God which includes friends and enemies, rich and poor, men and women, locals and foreigners, lepers and bleeding people, and all manner of others who fit in or didn’t.  Anybody can read through the Gospels and note the wide assortment of people Jesus included in the fold.  And the epistles highlight the conflicts between A) those who believed you had to become Jewish before you could belong to the Way of Jesus and B) those who believed you did not have to be circumcised or follow Jewish food laws  to follow Jesus’ Way.  These issues were as huge as the issues we’ve grappled with involving divorce, the leadership of women, the leadership of GLBT Christians, and marriage equality.

Both “liberal” and “conservative” churches are grappling with these issues.  There are “conservative” Christian colleges who admit to having unofficial gay and lesbian groups on campus:  Biola and Baylor, for example, and  several Christian colleges –   Wheaton College in Illinois, Bob Jones University, Messiah College and Westmont College  – now have  gay alumni groups.

I believe this is less about political activism than a matter of faithful interpretation of scripture for many of these students and alums.  There is more than one way to interpret God’s Word.  That’s the beauty of it, really.   Some of us believe that God is still speaking.  And those who want to follow Jesus – the whole broken band of misfits that we are – may find that what we share in common is so much bigger than what separates us.

*I erroneously said in my sermon yesterday that it was 33%.  But the correct percentage is 44%.

Both of my parents died of cancer.  I’ve lost friends to cancer.  The one (and only) advantage to having terminal cancer is that you get time to prepare to die.  You get to say good bye and put your affairs in order and arrange things the way you’d like them arranged.  You have a bit of control for what happens after you die.

There are moments when – even when facing the inevitable – we live in denial.  I remember talking with my brother about Christmas plans to be spent with Dad who was in treatment with terminal non-Hodgkins.  It was August, and my brother was stunned that I believed Dad would still be alive in December.  And I was shocked that my brother thought Dad would be not be with us.  Dad died later that week.

So today, I work with many churches that are dying.  Some are clearly in the 4th Quadrant of the Life Cycle of the Church.  Others are in the 3rd Quadrant.

Here’s my question:

What do we do with churches that are in denial that they are dying?  Or maybe they understand that death will happen, but it’s years away – maybe after their pastor retires or the roof caves in or after they themselves die.

As with human beings, death for churches can happen suddenly or very slowly.  But usually it’s slow.

Dying well involves:

• Accepting that death is coming.
• Dividing up our resources and treasures so that others can enjoy them.
• Saying good-bye and celebrating the life that has been lived.

How do we know a church is really dying?

• The struggle for survival overwhelms all other activities and plans.
• The purpose for the congregation’s existence cannot be articulated by most of the congregation.
• Too few people are living out the mission of the church in their own daily lives, much less as a community.
• People have forgotten that the church belongs to God (and not to the members.)

Sometimes I sit in sanctuaries during worship gatherings and think to myself, “This church is dying and they don’t even know it.”

So, how do I convey – in as loving a way as possible – that they are dying and I want them to have a good death –  in a way that they can hear me?  I would love your answers on this.

The goat you scape may be your own.  Suzanne Ross, The Raven Foundation

Just yesterday, some NAACP members booed Mitt Romney during his speech to them.  And then some Republicans accordingly vilified the NAACP for their rude behavior.  Earlier in the day, Democrats vilified Republicans for attempting to repeal The Affordable Care Act  for the 33rd time. But Republicans filed this repeal once again because they blame Obama and “Obama Care” for many current and future woes.

We scapegoat each other.  

Especially in this election, we will endlessly hear that electing Obama again will Ruin Our Country.  Or electing Romney will Ruin Our Country.

We blame that one parishioner for making our lives miserable.   And, God knows, pastors are often blamed for everything from lower attendance numbers to budget deficits to random program deficiencies.

A coach gets scapegoated for a losing season. Immigrants are scapegoated for local crime.  Older generations are blamed for bringing younger generations down. Younger generations are scapegoated for destroying everything.

Liberal Christians get scapegoated for “people leaving the denomination.”  And so are Conservative Christians.  I’m weary of it.

We can’t get through a single day without blaming other people for the troubles of the world – personally, professionally, politically, and globally.  Although I am new to the ideas of mimetic theory, it’s intriguing to consider how we mimic the behavior we see in others, even if that behavior repulses – or at least frustrates – us. 

• We blame others for the very things we do.
• We criticize others for characteristics we share with them.
• We demonize people for taking a fanatical stance, when we take similar stances in the other direction.

And all this leads to violence, brokenness, and devolvement.

I believe it is quite possible for people of opposing beliefs to be the church together.  It’s exhausting, labor intensive, and supremely frustrating.  But I agree with Brian McLaren’s premise here:

Why did Jesus cross the road?  To get to the other.

The goat we scape may not only be our own.  That goat is a part of us.  Does this make sense?

Image Source.

I grew up believing that if we disagreed with someone, we subsequently didn’t like them.  In fact, we might even wish them more harm than the usual schadenfreude.

Apparently many children grow up with this misunderstanding.  When President Reagan was shot, I remember one of my seminary friend’s young daughters said – knowing that her mother was no fan of Reagan – “We’re happy he got shot, right Mom?”  Her mother was horrified.

I was taught as a young Christian that it was our duty to seek the conversion of others to Christianity, even if they were already devout Jews, Muslims, or Hindu.  Maybe we should even hate them.

My church did not teach this.  I think it was a cultural expectation.

I see this all the time, which is increasingly problematic as our culture is increasing less Christian and more multi-faith or secular.  How do we live as faithful Christians while working alongside, befriending, loving those of other faiths or no faith? I’m looking forward to Brian McLaren’s new book due out September 11, 2012 which will address these issues.

Eboo Patel’s Interfaith Youth Corps strives to teach youth and young adults how to live out their faith while respecting the faiths of others – without vilifying them or trying to convert them.

This is one of the teachings we in the church need to learn and perfect as well.

Even within our own faith, respecting the faith of Christians who disagree with us   requires finesse and unconditional love.  My sister in faith who was quoted here (the “shame on us” sister) is the first on my list this week.

Source of image.

Amanda Riley was signing books at GA 220 last week and I took a quick glance at the book she wrote with Melissa DeRosia, Marianne Grano, and Amy Morgan and thought, “Why didn”t we write this book a couple decades ago?”  Actually, this is better than any book I could have written.  It’s thorough – with information for young married, single, solo, associate, pregnant, and/or exhausted clergywomen. 

I was once a young single clergywoman (ages 27-31) and then a young married clergywoman (age 31), then a pregnant clergy woman (32, 34, 36), and then a clergy mom (the rest of my life) and this resource would have been mighty helpful to me and my clergy girlfriends.  Today, as I work with an broader spectrum of seminarians (variety of ages and backgrounds) this is still a great resource.

Attention Commissions on Preparation for Ministry: this book should be given to all women seminarians preparing to serve the parish.

Attention all Pastor Nominating Committees and Church Personnel Committees:  this book should be read by at least one person on your team to that you have a glimpse of what it’s really like to be a pastor – especially a female pastor.

One thing I would alter:

• The use of the word “minister.”  I am (obnoxiously) adamant about using the terms “pastor” or “clergy” or “professional minister” to describe what we do, rather than the word “minister.”  To call a pastor “the minister” is ruinous to the concept of the priesthood of all believers and the notion that a pastor’s job is to equip God’s people for ministry.  We are all ministers.  We do ministry in gardens, in grocery stores, on street corners, on tractors, in classrooms, etc. etc.  You know this. The long-term destruction to congregations and everyone’s daily theology that comes from calling the clergy “the minister” comes from a 1950s mentality.

So, there you have it.  Buy and read this book.  It’s beautifully written and full of wisdom. 

The best wisdom I received before my ordination, which I didn’t find in the book and which is especially helpful for single pastors living in small towns: 

At the end of the interview, when the committee asks, “Do you have any questions or comments for us?” you say this:

“Because I am single and don’t know anyone around here, sometimes people will visit me at the manse.  Some of them will be family and some will be friends. Some will be married and some will be single.  Some will be male and some will be female.  I just want you to know that it will be important for me to have people visit me.”  This suggested statement (thank you CMD) made life extraordinarily easier for me as I served in a small village of 700 people in a manse on Main Street.  People came and went and nobody said a word except, “I see you had company.” 

It really helped.  And this book will help you or someone in professional ministry that you care about.