Category Archives: Uncategorized

I grew up in North Carolina knowing virtually nothing about Native American history except that the first English settlers disappeared (i.e. The Lost Colony) and they most likely connected with a tribe of natives along the coast of North Carolina or died of a virulent disease.  I’ve learned in only the past several years that White People reportedly gave small pox infected blankets to Native Americans in the 1700s causing widespread epidemics.  One of the surest stories is that Lord Jeffrey Amherst (for whom Amherst College is named) promoted the idea.  He personally mentioned what a great idea it was in a letter to British Captain Simeon Ecuyer.

I grew up “knowing” that General Robert E. Lee was an honorable man who hated slavery and  loved the Commonwealth of Virginia more than he loved his country.  The truth – according to this firsthand account by an enslaved person named Wesley Norris – is that he was a particularly brutal slaveholder.  Turns out he was not the benevolent plantation owner many have called him, although his portrait still hangs proudly in many White fraternities throughout the South.

I grew up admiring Josephus Daniels, the longtime publisher and editor of the Raleigh News and Observer and the namesake of The Student Stores building on my college campus.  I bought my textbooks in the Daniels Building.  He was considered an honorable man, a teetotaler who forbid work on the Sabbath. (What a good Christian.)  The truth, though, also includes the fact that he was a White Supremacist who helped lead the Wilmington Insurrection of 1898 which resulted in a bloody attack on Black residents and Black-owned businesses.  Just yesterday, the UNC Board of Trustees voted to remove the name of Josephus Daniels and three other White Supremacists from campus buildings.  This was the right decision.

I share these stories not because I hate my country or my Southern heritage.  I love my country and my Southern roots, and because I love my country and my roots, I want us to be better.  I want us to do better.

The more we know, the better the world can be.  (Note: My grandmother used to say, “It’s amazing what the LORD has let us learn.”  I agree.  God makes learning possible.)

There are Church People who “know” that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute.  (Not true.)  There are people who believe that there was a literal “Good Samaritan” and a literally “Prodigal Son” even though the Bible clearly says that Jesus was telling parables (not sharing a news report.)  Jesus told parables to jolt us into understanding the depth and breadth of God’s love for us and God’s expectations of us.  Rabbis tend to answer questions with stories and with more questions. Jesus was a rabbi.

Someone told me recently that Tucker Carlson had been doxxed by a New York Times reporter and that his family was forced to move because of the protesters who showed up at his house.  Actually, the opposite is true.  Mr. Carlson’s address was not shared but the reporter’s address was leaked and protesters showed up at his house.

We need to do our research.

I learned in seminary to dig deep and seek out original sources like Josephus and Tacitus.  I learned in college to seek scholarly articles and to find multiple sources for my “facts.”  There is indeed a lot of fake news out there.  And there is misinformation about what’s in the Bible as well.

We can do better because we love God and we love our country and we love our heritage.  AND we have quite of bit of corporate confession and reparations to make.  The Bible calls it repentance.

The more we know, the more we realize that we have work to do to make things right, in the name of Jesus.  

We learned at my grandmother’s funeral long ago that everytime one of her nephews visited, she told that particular nephew, “You are my favorite.”

They were all her favorites.

Before COVID hit, when I was preaching from one of the 96 pulpits in our Presbytery or when I was visiting for a congregational event, I would often tell that Church that they were my favorite..  To be perfectly honest, they are all indeed my favorites in their own way.  Struggling congregations, thriving congregations, broken congregations, betrayed congregations, and even cranky congregations. Although they can be a challenge, cranky congregations do wonders for my prayer life.

I want to let you (church members out there) in on something I hear regularly from your pastors about what makes a congregation one of their favorites. 

In these pandemic days, it’s the perfect time to work on these things:

1. Remember that the church is first and foremost a spiritual community.  We are not a social club.  We are not a family business.  We are not a fast food establishment.  Healthy pastors want to be the Church with people who have a spiritual hunger.  We are trained to think theologically, to teach the Bible, to mentor people in their faith.  Healthy pastors lose interest when all the Church wants to do is argue about money or perpetuate social expectations.
2. Lighten up.  Enjoy each other’s company.  Forgive generously. Laugh more.  Refrain from all opportunities to shame each other.
3. See every challenge as an opportunity. Instead of wringing our hands over the way this pandemic has “ruined everything” consider how the church might address new opportunities for worship and service.
4. Don’t be afraid to try new things.  Who knows how long this pandemic will last before there’s a vaccine?  This is the time to try new practices.  If we like them – great.  If we don’t like them, we can stop when the pandemic ends.  Trying new ways of loving God is Biblical.

If your congregation does these things, you will not only be my favorite, you will be the favorite of every pastor fortunate enough to serve you.  Let’s use this strange time to re-think, re-tool, re-focus.

Image of one of my favorite churches: Holy Grounds (2010) because they worked on the four things I’ve listed. I’ve been blessed to work with hundreds of favorites.

I would love to tell you that I am a regular reader of novels, but it’s not true.  I read lots of nonfiction. And I read one novel a year during beach vacation.  That’s it.

A lot of research goes into what that one novel will be.  This year it was Homegoing by Yall Gyasi.  It’s excellent.

This particular paragraph struck me hard:

“Yaw listened as his best friend told him that he had explained to the girl that you could not inherit a scar.  Now, nearing his fiftieth birthday, Yaw no longer knew if he believed that.”

Can we inherit scars?  I think we can and we do.

Generational Trauma is real. Yaa Gyasi’s story of eight generations of an African/African-American family illustrates that scars can indeed be inherited.

This is also true for “church families.”  I am queasy about calling all congregations “families” and yet church systems and family systems are similar.  The generational trauma/family systems in a congregation are especially pronouced during a pandemic, and we who want The Church to thrive need to consider how most congregations share common themes:

• There are heroes in the life of each church. Beyond Abraham, Moses, Ruth, David, and Jesus there are beloved former pastors and other legendary pillars.
• There are “identified patients” The “problem pastor” who led the church astray or the elder who kept speaking truths that no one else wanted to here.
• There are blind spots. The congregants who pride themselves in their beautiful sanctuary or their financial endowment who don’t see that the walls are cracked and the endowment is dwindling fast.)
• There are levels of distrust.  Some church people don’t trust each other, their pastor, or the denomination.  They don’t even trust God.
• There is anxiety which leads to a sad survival mode.  Again, they don’t trust God.
• There is amnesia. We don’t remember why we are the church in the first place.
• There is mis-remembering. “We used to have 300 children in Sunday School” when records show that actually, we never had more than 150 in Sunday School during the most glorious of The Glory Days.
• There are unhealed wounds.  People are still hurting about everything from not being elected to serve a second term on the Deacons to “that sermon about the gays” to Angela Davis.  ( Look it up, Presbyterians.)
• There are scars we’ve inherited from generation to generation.

We carry with us scars from the past.  Maybe our church once banished a divorced woman from the communion table.  Maybe we refused to welcome a family who didn’t look like us.  Maybe we shamed someone for having a baby too young or for needing to use the food pantry or for having “problem children” who refused to participate in Confirmation. These are the scars that people carry with them long after they leave the church.

But they don’t have to be scars that we forever pass on to future generations.  There are thousands of congregations who welcome the broken, the poor, the sick, the wounded, the excommunicated without hesitation.  There is redemption in a healthy church.  There is movement from “stuckness” to fresh visions what service in God’s name might look like

This is the time to be the redemptive, fresh People of God.  Thank God for this pandemic, if it indeed stops the cycle of passing on the scars and the dysfunctions we’ve come to normalize.

And thank God for Yaa Gyasi who can tell an amazing story.

Note: My 2019 novel was The Nickel Boys by Whitehead Colson.  My 2018 novel was There, There by Tommy Orange.  My 2017 novel was Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. My 2016 novel was The Underground Railroad by Whitehead Colson.  These are all good vacation reads.

Vacation was spent in a very nice beach house that my siblings and I rented with our families as we’ve done now for over 30 years.  Different houses.  Same relaxation except now it’s even easier because the kids are grown.  There were years when we had at least five in diapers.

Let’s just start by acknowleding that I am extremely privileged to get this:

1. Vacation.
2. Paid Vacation.
3. A Job I Won’t Lose If I Take Vacation.
4. The Ability to Afford to Rent This House.
5. Extended Family Who Wants to Spend Vacation Together.
6. More Than Enough Food.
7. A Pool (and An Ocean.)
8. Good Health.

Even with distancing and masks, we could still contract COVID-10, but there’s another virus that threatens us and it comes from the privilege of having things.

It’s easy to become accustomed to luxury and privilege.  And the weird thing is that the more luxury we have, the more luxury we desire.  (That’s the virus.)

Our very, very nice beach “cottage” had a covered bar overlooking the pool (see photos above) and as I sat there mesmerized by the beauty around me, I started to think, “This bar really needs a little refrigerator.  Why don’t we have a little fridge down here?  And an electric ice-maker (like the one in the living room of this house) would be handy.”

And so it goes.

What I’m not saying: That it’s not okay to enjoy a slice of luxury.

What I am saying: That being content and grateful keeps us grounded.

Wanting more and more and more is the virus that results when we are not content with and grateful for what we already have.  I can see the utter selfishness of desiring more cookies when our neighbors have no cookies at all.

There is nothing holy about poverty.  It’s also true that being poor is not a sin.  We often attack the poor rather than poverty and we blame the poor for making bad choices. (Note: If you believe this, please make friends with someone who lives on the streets or in public housing and hear their story.)

Enjoying some of life’s sweet luxuries can be rejuvenating, and yet, we are also called to consider what we could live without for the sake of our neighbors.  

If I owned that beach house, would I do without a poolside fridge and a poolside icemaker so that some other person’s life might be improved?  Would I consider matching what I paid for this vacation to share with an unemployed neighbor?  Would I relinquish something I really really want so that another person could get an air conditioned hotel room with a shower?

These are all personal choices and it’s easy to be judgey or hold ourselves up as paragons of mission service.  But this is what I thought about at the beach last week.  It was a wonderful time of restoration and resurrection.  And also the world is a hot mess and it’s time to get back to figuring out how to bring some equity to those who don’t have this.

Image of our vacation pool and the view from the pool bar. It was lovely.

Everybody needs a time away to stare at the clouds and rest and regroup.  Everybody needs a vacation and I hope a vacation is in your future if you haven’t recently taken one.

I’m going radio-silent until July 27th and I’m grateful for the opportunity to step away. No phone. No computer.

See you later this month and may the world also find rest.

Okay folks – I got some great feedback from yesterday’s post and the Holy Spirit – as always – is on top of things.

Just as my post was being read yesterday, school systems around the country were already reaching out to congregations from California to North Carolina asking their neighborhood congregations if they had space that their school systems could use to 1) expand their access to socially distanced space and 2) offer internet access to students without such access at home.  I heard from dozens of pastors.

Thank you God.

This issue of schools re-opening for in-person or online classes is both a test and an opportunity for congregations.

• THE TEST:  If your congregation already has a relationship with the nearest school to your church building, then you get an A.  If your pastor or other church leaders already know the school principal and guidance counselors by name, you are steps ahead in terms of being a missional congregation.  Excellent.  Unfortunately, the majority of our pastors cannot identify the name of the principal of the closest school to their church building, much less the name of the police chief, the fire chief, and the owner of the local coffee shop.  Kudos to all of you who already have relationships with your community leaders.

• THE OPPORTUNITY: Churches have fellowship halls and family centers and classrooms that are unused these days because of the pandemic.  Could those spaces be used for local students?  Do you have courtyards or patios or parking lots or shady lawns that your school system could use as they socially distance?

Church: here’s what you do next if this resonates with you:

1. Contact your local school system offices/the principal of the school closest to your church property/the school board and ask what your church can do to help them this fall with school. Maybe they can use your building or your parking lot or your lawn.  Maybe they need space with quality wireless.  Maybe they need meals or snacks served.  Maybe they need space for story time.  Maybe they need art space.
2. If your church needs assistance before they can do what the schools need them to do (like upgrade their wireless service or do a deep cleaning) contact your denominational leaders.  There are grants out there.  (Note: If you are in Charlotte Presbytery check this out.)  This is why denominations exist: to support local congregations.
3. If volunteers are needed, do background checks on those who sign up ASAP.  Everybody – everybody – gets a background check before they work with children.  Safety is the first priority.
4. Be the Church out there.  This is our time to serve.  This is not our time to proselytize or convert or judge people.  This is not about “getting new members.”  This is about being the hands and feet of Jesus in the world.

We are blessed with an opportunity to serve our communities in ways we’ve never served before.  This is our chance – even if we’ve failed to reach out into our communities before – to reach out and make a difference.

This is why we have church buildings: to use those buildings as tools for ministry.  Don’t miss this opportunity.  Don’t fail another test.

Image shows one of my favorite churches in Charlotte, NC and their proximity to two schools within walking distance from their property.

Whether our schools will open for in-person classes or virtual classes, I’m wondering if there is anything our congregations can do to help.

I know that school systems have regulations and license requirements, but this might be a great opportunity to offer support to our parents, teachers, and students.  I just don’t know how those opportunities might play out.

When I traveled to Lebanon in 2017, I visited schools established by the local churches to serve Syrian refugee children.  The Syrian children didn’t speak English (which was required in Lebanese schools) and some of them were illiterate in their own language.  The Presbyterian Church in Minyara, Lebanon bought a garage that looked like an old Jiffy Lube business with three bays and some offices that were turned into classrooms.  Our group visited this school and witnessed lessons being taught with music and art.  “Physical Education” class was actually a brief dance party kicked off when one of the teachers would yell “Dance Party!” and everybody got out of their desks and broke into dance in the garage bays while music played.

The teachers were “regular church people” who had a heart for these children who – by night – slept in plastic tents in a camp.  During the day, they could be in school where there was heat in the winter and a hot meal for lunch.

The context is different here in the U.S. as we endure this pandemic situation.  But I wonder what our churches, synagogues, and mosques could do to help.

Again, I don’t have specific ideas.  But do you?  Please share.

Image of Dance Party Time (i.e. Physical Education Class) at the refugee school in Minyara, Lebanon in 2017.  Read more about these efforts by The National Evangelical Synod (Presbyterian) of Syria and Lebanon here.

I know. I know. I know.

You find political sermons divisive.  Your church is “purple.” You pay your pastor to preach The Bible not the newspaper.  You fear another church split.  “What if people leave?”

There are church leaders out there today grappling with whether or not to put a Black Lives Matter banner on the front lawn of church property.  There are church leaders doing book studies using everything from denominational resources that instill Scripture in the lessons to secular books by DiAngelo, Kendi, Coates, and Oluo – and not everyone’s happy about it.  There are pastors participating in peaceful marches and other pastors decrying those marches.

(Note: The Billy Graham Rapid Response Team chaplains were present at at least one march in Charlotte, NC and I wasn’t sure if they were present to march or pray or help in case violence broke out.  Either way, it was good to see them.)

I once served a church that had endured an especially ugly church split prior to my arrival and at one of the first elders’ meetings, I remember that the split and its ugliness came into the discussion.  One Church Pillar immediately interjected this statement:

Let’s pretend like that never happened.

So, actually it had happened.  Every kind of misconduct except sexual.  Embezzlement. Spiritual abuse. Fraud. Behavior Unbecoming of a Follower of Jesus.

It had happened over a long period of time and the consequences were not going away by ignoring it or proclaiming “well, that’s over” as if it was actually over.  The split took almost two decades to happen.  It took almost two decades to heal from the split.

And now we hear Good Church People say “Let’s pretend like ___ never happened.”

• Let’s pretend that slavery was never sanctioned by the Church.
• Let’s pretend that Christians never perpetuated or nourished the lies of White Supremacy.
• Let’s pretend that every child has an equal opportunity to succeed in this country.
• Let’s pretend that “We don’t see color.”

It’s best if we just don’t talk about that around here.  Political conversations are divisive.  Church should be a Happy Place – Praise Jesus.

Friendly reminder:  Jesus was crucified for trying to overthrow the Roman government.  Jesus turned over the tables in the temple after seeing the heresies and injustices to the poor.  Jesus called the Righteous Leaders “broods of vipers.”  And he didn’t do these things because he was cranky.

Jesus models that when we see injustice, we act to make it right.

Hanging BLM banners on church property will not make it right.  Prayerful marching in the streets will not make it right.  Book groups will not make it right.  But the hope is that someone will be moved, someone will wake up, someone will realize that it’s our responsibility as followers to Jesus to do more than wish the ugliness will go away.

After we (White People) educate ourselves about the realities of what has happened in the history of our nation, the next step is to do something impactful.  Banners and book studies are not enough.

The next step is to work for justice.  The next step is to make earth as it is in heaven.  (Jesus’ words; not mine.)

The worst thing we can do is pretend our history never happened.  It will literally kill our ministry because it will kill our credibility and our honesty.  We must face the truth and address the truth in the name of love.

(I would personally say that we must address the truth in the name of Jesus, but even if you don’t believe in Jesus, or you don’t believe in any kind of Divine God, please consider addressing injustice with love.)

Fun fact: God is love.

Image from a May 2020 prayer march in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Source.

Happy Monday as we enter Day 120 of these days of pandemic/quarantine/mask-wearing or not-mask-wearing.  By now – after multiple months of adapting, it occurs to many of us in the Church that we need to take further action or refrain from taking further action.  This is our new normal until there is a vaccine.

What are the good ideas and what are the not-so-good ideas for these days?

Not-So-Good Ideas:

• Having a Long Term Strategic Planning Retreat for Leaders. We don’t know what to expect in August 2020 much less three years from now.  (Please tell me you aren’t considering a ten year strategic plan for your congregation anytime soon – or ever.)
• Shaming People for Not “Going Back” to Church (i.e. in the Church Building.)  Some will be able to return and some won’t.  It’s okay. God knows who is medically vulnerable.
• Ignoring What’s Going On in the World (a.k.a. tomorrow’s blog post) Please don’t say that it’s “too political” or “too depressing” to address COVID, George Floyd, poverty, unemployment, school closings.  Exhibit A: Jesus who bummed out the self-righteous and was executed for sedition.

Good Ideas:

• Auditing Your Church’s Tech Needs.  What would make virtual ministry easier for your congregation?  Teaching people Zoom? An Apple TV? New microphones?  There are grants out there for tech needs.  Check denominational resources for grants.
• Working with a Tech Mentor.  Maybe you definitely do not need an Apple TV or new mikes, but you need updated laptops for your staff.  Talk with other congregations to connect with someone who might give you honest advice and help hook you up.
• Re-Consider Church Staffing.  Does the church need a high school student who can help with tech needs?  This could be a great internship for the right person.  Does the church need to re-train pastoral care givers for more phone and computer work?  (Let’s practice praying on the phone, people.)  Do we need a different kind of Pastor, Educator, Office Manager, Finance Person?  I don’t say this to freak out current staff members who need/want to stay in their positions.  Old dogs CAN learn new tricks if we are willing.
• Celebrate the Advantages of Online Worship, Online Social Times, Online Bible Studies, Online Meetings.  Yes, they can be exhausting but they can also :
  • Include those who’ve never been included before because of age, home responsibilities, weather, lack of transportation, illness.
  • Offer connections to neighbors of other faiths or no faith who are interested in your Anti-Racism book study or your Bible study on Revelation.
  • Point out the inequities in terms of digital access and move us to expand our mission priorities to address this.
  • Inspire us.  I watched a Sunday morning worship service yesterday that included children’s art for the pastoral prayer and a child’s voice praying The Lord’s Prayer.  My heart is still full.

It’s a great time to be the Church.  And it’s also an exhausting time to be the Church because adaptation is labor-intensive.

And it’s summer.  Be gentle with yourselves.

We don’t have to be perfect in these transitions.  We’ve never done this before.  But the God I believe in offers grace beyond grace for every anxious one of us.

Image by Marc Schultz of Iglesia Pentecostal Dios Proveera Church in Schenectady, NY

I still remember my fifth grade vocabulary flashcards: BANISH, IMPALE, GARRULOUS. #FunWithMemorization

And every Presbyterian seminarian is familiar with those handy Greek and Hebrew flashcards – especially helpful in summer school when we had to learn 50 new words every 24 hours.

I received a set of flash cards yesterday from Fulton Street Books and Coffee with my first Ally Box.  And although I knew all those words: ALLY. RACE. IMPLICIT BIAS. DECOLONIZATION. ANTI-RACIST. ANTI-BLACK. PRIVILEGE. RACISM. WHITE FRAGILITY. WHITE SUPREMACY – it occurs to me that many of us have different definitions for those words.

What I mean by “racism” may not be what you mean by “racism.”

As we (White People) do the work of becoming Anti-Racist which – defined by Ibram X. Kendi means:

Someone who is supporting an antiracist policy through their actions or expressing antriracist ideas. This includes the expression or ideas that racial groups are equals and do not need developing, and supporting policies that reduce racial inequity.

. . . we need to use the same definitions.

If I understand that “race” is a human-made social construct which considers some people to be superior and some to be inferior and you believe that race is a God-given designation to divide human beings into different castes – then we have a problem as we (White People) grapple with the issues of these particular days.

Although I’ve already read the books I received yesterday with my flash cards, I recommend subscribing to the Fulton Street Ally Box.  It’s expensive but I consider the cost worth it not only for my own education but also for supporting a Black-owned business doing good work.

[Note: With a subscription, you also receive the code for The Ally Box Learning Cooperative which unlocks the door to some important conversation and this is where the magic will happen!]

And if anybody out there needs a copy of The Color of Law or So You Want to Talk About Race, I will share my extra copies.  Not kidding.  Email me.

When I say “we have a work to do (White People)” this is what I’m talking about. Have a good Wednesday.

Image of the Ally Box flashcards that come with a subscription.  Also, I was baptized 64 years ago today so I consider this commitment to participate in the Fulton Street Learning Cooperative to be part of my ongoing attempt to confirm my baptism.