A Church for Starving Artists

There are jobs and there are callings. My first jobs included babysitting and waiting tables.  My first “call” to professional ministry was with a tiny church in a tiny town nowhere near family or friends.  I stayed for five years and the experience changed my life for good.

Now I work with clergy seeking their first calls and – on the cusp of this new year – I have great hopes for all who have finished the seminary race, have been deemed “ready” and now await the nudging of the Spirit.  What we have here is an Advent/New Year’s Resolution mashup.

It’s not as fun as waiting for Santa.

I’ve observed too many new pastors experience soul-sucking first calls.  The common denominators to these debacles include:

• Congregations who were not transparent about their issues during the interview process. The issues might range from  no money to actually pay the new pastor to a failure to inform the new pastor that the Town Matriarch is actually the de facto pastor and you’ll be working for her to an expectation that the pastor is the hired help and it’s expected that he’ll do everything while we watch from the pews/parking lot.
• Pastors who were not honest during the interview process. You said you loved youth work when you were just kidding/desperate to get ordained.
• Colleagues who pitch themselves as collaborators but are not. You find yourself sabotaged by other staff members/volunteers for all kinds of reasons including feeling threatened, jealous, or basically cranky.

A good first call is a joyous thing and I’d love to hear your tips to finding a good first call if you have positive wisdom to share.  What I’ve noticed is this:

• A good first call is all about God.  It’s not about “getting ordained” or “paying the rent” or “being in the same town with ___” or “impressing the parents” or anything other than being where God calls you to be.  You do not want to be where God isn’t calling you to be.  #disaster
• A good first call will bolster your pastoral identity.  Whether your first call is in a parish, a hospital, a school, a homeless shelter, an interfaith organization, or a soup kitchen – if you are called to professional ministry by God in that particular setting, your understanding of yourself as a pastor will blossom.
• A good first call is among people who allow you to have a life apart from work.  Your people will want their spiritual leader to have a social life, an intellectual life, and – yes – a spiritual life that will be fed beyond the congregation/ministry site. They will expect you to take your day(s) off.  They will be happy when you take vacation and study leave because they care about you.
• A good first call allows for mistakes and missteps.  New pastors fail in small and huge ways.  Forgiveness goes both ways.

Actually these are helpful tips for all calls, but if they don’t happen in the first call, a pastor could find herself wounded and cynical to the point of never wanting a second call.

And here’s the last thing (which should be the first thing in your process towards ordination):  everyone is called to a life of ministry but not everyone is called to professional ministry.  This is one of the few professions that cannot be achieved like a certification program.  We can leap through every hoop and still not be called to that first call and, yes, that feels brutal.  But the good news is that we are still called to ministry.  It’s possible that it’s just not what we expected.

So to any of you who might hope that 2017 brings ordination:  I hope that for you too if that’s where God is leading you.  It’s all about the One whose birth we celebrate later this week and – just like the coming of the Messiah –  it’s always different from what we expect.

Let’s start with this.

A smart person I know mentioned recently that it’s easier to call people names (racist, stupid, privileged, misogynist, self-righteous, dismissive) than to attempt to connect.  [Note:  most of us are racist, stupid, privileged, misogynist, self-righteous, dismissive in our own way.]

In other words, we will never connect with anyone by calling them names (either out loud or in our heads.)  And do we really want to understand each other?  Or are we happy living in enmity?

Only  the sickest among us wants verbal/proverbial/actual war if you ask me.

Please watch the Sally Kohn TED Talk on the difference between political correctness and emotional correctness.  It might change your life and it’s less than six minutes long.

Basic takeaway: “We can be politically right and emotionally wrong.”

In the meantime . . .  this article was published recently about the long-standing racial divide in Arlington, Virginia which was my home for 22 years.  I love Arlington.  I love its politics.  I love its walkability.  I love its diversity.  I love how LGBTQ friendly it is. I love that it used to be part of the District but now it’s not but if you live there you still feel like you can say you live in DC.  I love how our neighbors were so interesting (our neighbors included lots of former Peace Corps workers, a professional magician who starred in TV specials, assorted White House staffers, teachers, an opera singer, several immigrant families.)

Also, Arlington County has some of the best schools in the country. Nevertheless, the high school in our neighborhood was Wakefield – also known as “the ghetto school” or “the bad high school.”

One of the problems with this article is that the white people on the north side of the country are called “pasty” which is not a helpful/emotionally correct thing to say.  And it’s not even factually true.  There is racial-ethnic diversity in North Arlington.  There is also economic diversity.

But most of all that diversity is in South Arlington, along with all the eyesore kinds of properties (i.e. school bus garages, warehouses, etc.)  It’s more expensive to live in North Arlington.

It’s also not true to describe something/someone by what we have heard and not by what we’ve experienced.  Many have heard that Black men – for example – are dangerous.  My experience however is that Black men are smart, kind, polite, ambitious, etc.  Just like men of other skin colors.  There are not-so-nice men and women of all skin tones and nationalities.  It’s just that – in my opinion – men of color have been systematically profiled as dangerous.  It’s not true and it’s not right.

FBC shared yesterday that when people found out he went to Wakefield High School the reaction was that he must be crazy because “people get stabbed at Wakefield” or “there are gangs at Wakefield.”  This is what they had heard. The truth is that Wakefield – like every other high school in Arlington – offers an excellent education but with more cultural richness than most.

We live in a world that embraces lies as truth:  Obama is Muslim. Trump won the popular vote. Republicans are – by definition – racist. Democrats are – by definition – arrogant.  Christians hate gay people.  Muslims are terrorists.

None of these things are factually true.  When we are talking about groups of people (whole political parties, whole religions, etc.) it’s true that individuals within these groups can be embarrassments and worse.

But we have got to make judgments – if we make them at all – according to our experiences and not what we’ve heard/read on fake news/imagined.

The world is screaming.  I can barely listen anymore even though I want to holler myself.  All I want for Christmas – though – is a movement to become a more emotionally correct planet.

Image Esse Quam Videri is shared in honor of those in my home state of North Carolina who indeed believe it is better to be rather than to seem.  

My grandmother Ethel died on Christmas Day 1968 and it wasn’t as sad as it could have been.  We cried.  But I remember – even at 12 – that it was fortunate that she got to see her whole family who were in town for the holidays. She had lived a very full and beautiful life, and at last she was no longer in pain.

Pastors can attest to the fact that many church people die at Christmastime. Sometimes it’s horribly tragic and sometimes it feels a bit less traumatic.

And all of us can pinpoint deaths this time of year that are senseless and beyond brutal.  The Christmas eve car accident.  The (God help us) mass shooting.

HH attended a funeral yesterday that he didn’t officiate, which is rare.  The lovely woman who passed away had lived a remarkable life, blessed with more than the threescore and ten that the Psalmist suggests.  She almost made 90.

Here’s the best part:  her family printed her Secret Polish Apple Cake Recipe on the back of the funeral bulletin.

It got me thinking:  what recipe would I want on the back of my funeral bulletin? What last “secret thing” would we like our family and friends to know that only we can share?

Maybe it wouldn’t be a recipe.  Maybe it would be the secret to getting the baby to sleep, or the secret way to get the lawn mower started, or the secret way to live a life that others want to emulate.  That last one is a little presumptuous, so it probably wouldn’t happen.

What gift do we want to give for people to carry with them beyond our deaths?  It’s a good thing to be thinking about now,  Because we who follow Jesus can bet that God had already considered this long before Jesus was born.

So now I’m headed to the kitchen to bake Betty’s Polish Apple Cake.  I didn’t know her but I love her.

I love Hamilton so much that I don’t want it to become ubiquitous and overdone. I loved it when James Corden shifted the lyrics for the Tony’s opening last summer. I loved it when First Presbyterian Church of Brooklyn transformed Hamilton into their 2016 pageant yesterday:  Bethlehem: A Christmas Musical.

How does an infant Savior, son of a whore pious virgin

Born in the middle of a forgotten spot right here in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve

The hero of our story?  We’ll move slowly.  Did I mention he was holy?

But I don’t want Hamilton to become a meme like – say Pumpkin Spice.

We’ve all observed the pumpkin spice-ification of American culture  from lattes to pancakes to tacos.  Memes are fun and distracting from real life.

We need distractions from Real life right now and not just because we can’t find the right gift for grandma.  Patton Oswalt is my muse these days.  I don’t know what Mr. Oswalt’s spiritual proclivities are, but he has helped me on the road to Christificating my life this season.

A couple years ago, Jordan Cooper wrote this article on Christification for Patheos  and it’s what we are (trying to be) about in Advent.  I can’t become Christ. But I can seek to become more like the Incarnate One.

It usually feels easier these days just to get angry or curl up in a ball of grief.  But even Patton Oswalt has arisen because it’s the only way to get through the day. He does it for his daughter.  We do it for our children or our country or maybe our God.

God did it for us.  It never gets old.  It can’t be memed.

Dear Straight White Guys,

We go way back – you and I.  My dad was a SWG, not to mention my brothers, my sons, and my handsome husband.  All straight.  All white males.

I love you guys.  You have had a huge positive impact in my life.  And you SWG friends have been so important to me. You’ve been my colleagues, my confidants, my mentors.

Increasingly,  I hear from some of you that things are not as easy as they used to be.  After hundreds (thousands?) of years of being in charge, it’s no longer assumed that you will get the job, receive the respect, or gain the acceptance. Nevertheless, you are more likely – than men of color – to avoid arrest and incarceration. For what it’s worth, I have straight white male friends and family who have been caught drinking under age, smoking weed, speeding behind the wheel, and trespassing. But they were warned, not arrested.

It’s also true that – if you are a clergyman – you are probably earning more money than a clergywoman with comparable experience. And in other occupations, you are – on average – still earning more than the women in your field. This is a global truth.

You still run the world. Most CEOs are your same gender, race and sexual orientation. So are most business owners, journalists, financiers, movie directors, and politicians. Every president of the United States – except one – has been a SWG. You have been the privileged ones regardless of your socioeconomic situation by virtue of your skin tone and orientation.

It’s also true that some of you are struggling. Please know that nobody deserves economic hardship, underemployment, or humiliation. But also know that Black and Brown men have endured bias against them simply because of the color of their skin for centuries. Gay and transgender men have lived at grave personal risk for centuries.  People who are not White have been subjected to laws created specifically for them which have limited their movement, their opportunities, and their general freedoms.

I love the Straight White Men in my life.  You know I do. But I am asking you to consider these things:

• If you are feeling that life is not as easy as it once was for you, know that it hasn’t been easy for men of color or BGTQ men for the majority of human history. This is a wonderful opportunity to gain insights on your brothers’ experiences.
• If you are offended when men of color or BGTQ men succeed, please check your sense of entitlement.  You are not the only ones created in the image of God.
• If you are threatened by women who are smart and strong, please note that having smart, strong wives and daughters is a sign of your own intelligence and strength.
• If you work with women, remember that they do not exist for you and they do not belong to you.  They, too, were created in God’s image.  It’s in the Bible – if that carries any weight for you.

It’s never easy to relinquish power. But in this season of Advent, we who are expecting Jesus remember that even God relinquished power for the sake of love. If we are called to live in the likeness of Jesus, perhaps we are also called – from time to time – to relinquish power for the sake of love.

In the meantime, I don’t want to live without you guys. Know that I love and appreciate you. Thanks for stepping back and stepping up for the sake of love.

Let’s keep talking – Jan

PS Jesus of Nazareth wasn’t White no matter who thinks so.

About six months ago, I got a new phone.  Clearly the number used to belong to Rhonda because I immediately starting receiving calls for her.

I don’t answer the phone when the number isn’t immediately recognized and so – when I didn’t pick up – quite a few voice mail messages were left for me.  In spite of my “This is Jan Edmiston, please leave a message” intro, my messages sounded like these:

Rhonda!  Girl, where the @#% are you?  Don’t think you can get away with this.

Hello.  This call is for Rhonda ___.  Please contact us immediately regarding your back payments for ____.

This call is for Rhonda ___.  This is the third warning regarding your credit card payment.  Please make full payment by ___ or call us at ___ for further arrangements.

You can’t hide from me, girl.  I am going to find you and when I do I’m going to *%^# you and your dog.

Rhonda is clearly in trouble.  I got another call for her just yesterday.  State Farm Insurance said they’ve been looking for her for several months and  – in the mean time – they promise to remove my number from her contact information.

Somewhere in this country, there is a woman named Rhonda who is hiding or trying to escape or feeling overwhelmed with debts or all the above.  She is not the only one.  There are thousands of Rhondas out there.

But this Rhonda is my special concern.  We share a phone number.

I pray she is not alone in her burdens.  I hope she is safe.  I ask that – if you are in a position to help a person in trouble this season – you will help.  The person you assist might be my Rhonda.  Thank you.

I’m keeping my eyes open for a Rhonda this season too.

Image of The Women’s Building on 18th Street in San Francisco.  The mural was originally painted in 1994 by Juana Alicia, Miranda Bergman, Edythe Boone, Susan Kelk Cervantes, Meera Desai, Yvonne Littleton, Irene Perez, and others.

“You know, you want to make fifty millions dollars selling violent video games to kids, go for it.  We’ll put you on the cover of Wired Magazine.  But you want to make half a million dollars trying to cure kids of malaria, and you’re considered a parasite yourself.”  Dan Pallotta

This 2013 TED Talk has changed my life.

I serve in a non-profit world that uses words like “stewardship season” and “pledging.”  I spend a lot of time explaining to people that we do not give to the Church to perpetuate an institution.  We give to change the world – and in the Church’s case – we hope to change to the world in the name of Jesus Christ.

I could make a case that giving to a Church is self-serving.  Any of us can make direct financial donations  to hospitals in Syria and HIV programs in Haiti rather than giving through the church office.

Giving to a Church also includes providing services specifically intended for members or other participants:  worship, educational offerings, pastoral care, youth activities. Some of our churches have just enough money to keep their doors open for long time members to be able to sit in their usual pews and sing their familiar hymns.  Again, I could make a case that giving to Church is self-serving.

How many congregations actually do change the world?  To be honest I know many who do.

Ask refugee families sponsored by congregations.  Ask immigrants who get free ESL training by church volunteers.  Ask the homeless men and women who have shelter in church fellowship halls during the winter months.  Ask the lonely people who have volunteers checking in on them.  Ask the school children who receive health kits from congregations all over the nation delivered by Church World Service.  Ask the victims of disasters whose homes are rebuilt by kind strangers.  In their worlds, life has indeed changed for the better.

Dan Pallotta does not begrudge the non-profit employee who makes a good salary.

Palotta’s point:  we need the best and brightest serving in the non-profit sector. But he admits that there aren’t many people who would give up a $400k salary working in the for-profit sector to earn $84, 028. which is the average salary of the CEO of a hunger charity.  And that $400,000 earner is not even being selfish; she’s being smart:

“It’s cheaper for that ($400,000 earning) person to donate $100,000 every year to the hunger charity, save $50,000 on their taxes, so still be roughly $270,000 ahead of the game, now be called a philanthropist because they donated $100,000 to charity, probably sit on the board of the hunger charity, and indeed probably supervise the poor SOB who decided to become the CEO of the hunger charity, and have a lifetime of this kind of power and influence and popular praise still ahead of him.”

Yep.

Charity Navigator evaluates how much overhead non-profits pay to keep their work going and the “best charities”  are the ones with love overhead.  People generally don’t want our financial donations spent on advertising or utilities or maybe even on staff salaries.

But sometimes “overhead” is what makes the work happen more effectively.

I say this as a person who is part of “the overhead” of the non-profit I serve.  Our staff, our office space, the tech expenses, the publication expenses, the training are all part of “the overhead” of our organization.  We can call such things “mission expenses” because they are.  They make it possible to do the ministry we are trying to do.  But mostly we are considered not-as-sexy-as-the-direct-care-to-the-mission “overhead.”

How can we work smarter?  How can we minimize administrivia and maximize relational ministry?  Do we really need some of the expenditures that we’ve always had.  (Exhibit A:  Newsletters.  Do they have an impact in moving forward the mission?  If yes, that’s great.  But if not, let’s get rid of them.)

Do advertising expenses need tweaking?  [Note:  if you still have a Yellow Pages account, you need to retire immediately.]  People will not support our ministry if they don’t know what our ministry is.  We need to make it spectacularly easy to make financial donations.  We need to make it spectacularly easy to offer time and talent.

Are we (really) open to new participation?  If we are simply doing Church for ourselves and our own people, then we are merely engaged in an exclusive club.  Almost every church I know has a core group of leaders who have been the leaders for a long time.  Too long a time.  “New people” will not step up if there is no place to step.

Are we rewarding those who are expanding the mission?  If I am doing a good job – whether you consider me an overhead cost or not – I deserve to be paid well and so do you.  No, we will not get rich serving the non-profit sector.  But we will get our hands dirty in the glorious every day work of our mission.

My mission is to equip people to go out and show what the love of Jesus looks like out in the world – among other things.  What’s your mission?  Are you just part of the “overhead” or are you something else?

The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood.  John 1:14a 

As Christians prepare for The Coming of Christ, those preparations – of course – go beyond hanging tinsel and wrapping gifts.  Advent is sometimes called a mini Lent because we have soul work to do before we can fully welcome Jesus.  For the love of God (literally) – we especially need this spiritual component post-election.

Our humanity is literally at risk.

Some look upon Muslims, People of Color, Immigrants, Refugees, Women, and Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender/Queer People and do not consider them/us to be as fully human as they themselves are.  Some of us forget that all human beings were created in the image of God – even “those people” whom we don’t understand or try to avoid.  The tenor of our President-Elect’s message has created authentic fear.

And there are those who did not vote for the President-elect who question his and his supporters’ humanity.

Advent is the season when we try to magnify our humanity.

Although some equate “human” with lesser qualities (“I’m only human“) the Bible reminds us that to be human is to be “a little less than the angels.”   To be human is to aspire to the best and highest.  To be human is to be like Jesus.

Jesus perfected what it looks like to be human.

We are a hot mess right now because we are forgetting what it means to be human.  We dehumanize people.  We are often inhuman in the way we treat each other.  Waterboarding?  Terrorizing?  “Rounding up”?  “Conversion therapy”?  These things are not who we are as people created in God’s image.

We are awaiting the coming of One who was himself tortured and terrorized – not someone who called for others to be tortured and terrorized.  How are we missing this?

Imagine Advent as the season when we try to become more human in honor of Jesus.  I can’t think of a better way to prepare for Christmas.

Tomorrow has been deemed “Giving Tuesday” which could be written off as one of those Create-An-Occasions a la Hallmark.  But sharing even a small portion of what we have not only makes the world sweeter; it bolsters our own personal gratitude quotient and our empathy. Giving is not about tax write offs.  It’s not about guilt relief.

If you could give $100 on Tuesday, November 29th, who/what would be the recipient?  This is not only a game to ponder; it’s a real question.  Who or what have you noticed who could use $100?

Need help?  Here are some ideas:

• Whom do you know who is making a positive difference in the world?  I know someone who takes an afternoon off each week from her paid-by-the-hour job to drive her disabled neighbor to and from dialysis.  I also know of a famous athlete with a foundation who gives sacrificially of his time to (without media) befriend children with cancer.  Is there someone you know or know of who is doing quiet things to share the love?
• What organization has personally helped you or someone you love? My parents were both treated in the Lineberger Cancer Center of UNC Hospitals.  They were good to my mom and dad.  I know a church that bought a new car for a single mom who needed one.  I know another church who was there for a young widow to provide free babysitting for several months while she found a job.  I know another church that offers a free community dinner every Monday night.
• What organization fights for justice, especially post-election?  You probably don’t need help with this one.  But if you do:  Who is helping poor women with reproductive health?  Who is serving refugees? Who is supporting undocumented children?  Who is working towards racial equality?  Who is standing with LGBTQ people?

If you are at a total loss, please consider giving to one of these organizations:

Presbyterian Disaster Relief not only helps those impacted by floods, storms, gun violence, and war.  They don’t leave when the media shifts their attention to the next thing.  PDA is still helping victims of Katrina while almost every other organization is long gone.

The Coalition of Immokalee Workers has supported 35,000 farm workers and their families against sexual harassment, discrimination, and dangerous working conditions.  Through the Fair Food Program, respect and dignity for these workers continues to be their goal.

Computer CORE was established by leaders of a PCUSA church in Northern Virginia to offer job skills – especially computer skills – for highly motivated low-income individuals.  At this writing, they have improved the lives of over 2000 (mostly) immigrants in the suburban Washington, DC area.

The Night Ministry provides housing, health care, and emotional support to vulnerable people on the streets of Chicago.  Forty years ago, twenty congregations founded this organization and they continue to offer what no other program offers in Chicago.  In the middle of the night.

Even if you don’t have $100 to share on Tuesday, maybe you have $5. Thoughtfully consider how you might be an angel.  Keep in mind that angels do their work quietly and without a lot of fanfare.  Except here.

Image of Giving Tuesday logo, Glinda the Good Witch, the Angel Gabriel, and Saint Martin de Porres.  Be a good witch, an angel or a saint on November 29 this year.

May your holiday be peaceful.