I like for things to make sense and sometimes they just don’t. Perhaps you can help.
Here are three things I simply do not understand:
- Lardo. It might be a hipster food, but we know it’s just Italian lard, right? I don’t care if you put rosemary on it. It’s. Still. Fatback.
- Pork Weaponry. Bacon is also a hipster food and – for that and other reasons – it doesn’t belong in the shoes of unsuspecting Muslims. Honestly, who does that? This guy.
- Maniacal Compartmentalising. How can someone preach such an exquisite sermon that the deepest parts of a human being’s soul are lifted beyond measure, while secretly eating human babies in dark alleys when the sun goes down? Okay, maybe this dichotomy is extreme. But how do we get our heads around human contradictions? The brilliant doctor who self-medicates with MDMA. The conservative politician who secretly hangs out at bath houses. All of us are a bundle of secret contradictions, but some of us have taken it to a new level that requires special attention.
Helpful readers (and especially you lurkers out there): feel free to impart your wisdom.
Image: Yes, that’s Starry Night created out of bacon.