Making New Friends As A Middle-Aged Adult

I once observed three preschoolers checking out the new kittens at the vet while their respective parents were talking about canine flu and dog meds with the doctors.  It was fascinating.

In a matter of minutes, the three children from three different families had exchanged their names and their dogs’ names.  They had each pointed out which grown up was their particular parent.  They had shared a couple of jokes.  They had discussed the possibilities of taking home one of those kittens.  And they were making arrangements to hang out together.  “Maybe you could come to my birthday party,” one little boy offered the other two.  Seriously.  They were making social plans less than ten minutes after meeting by the kitten kennel.

Last night I attended a one night hand lettering class offered through Skill Pop at the suggestion of a colleague thinking I’d learn a new skill and – if I was really lucky – I’d make a new friend who had nothing to do with church.

Two things to note:

1- I love my church friends.

2- Crafts are not my thing unless we’re talking about arranging a cheese board.

I indeed met some fun women at my table – a couple of twenty-something women who work together and brought wine.  There was another woman who looked like somebody I’d love to be friends with – creative, mom of three grown kids and two step-kids, native New Yorker, young grandmother, cool haircut and fun eyeglasses.  We chatted about everything from having babies to hormone-related acne.  (Like I said, we were all women at this table.)  I got some shopping tips.  The young women offered to share their prosecco.  But I left with my art work and no plans to meet my classmates for coffee.  No one invited me to her birthday party.

Actually, if one of those women had invited me to her birthday (or any) party, I probably would have felt awkward.  I mean we had just met.

Most of us meet new friends through work – which is great – but work-related friends have boundary implications.  Many of us have old friends from childhood or high school or college – which is also great – but with different work schedules and family schedules, it can be hard to get together.

I frankly like to be alone but it’s a new adjustment as I now live alone for the first time in many decades.  I’m grateful that HH is just a phone call away, but it’s weird not turning to him on the sofa to tell him something that happened today.  We’ll figure it out.

Figuring out how to make friends as an adult is trickier.  Nevertheless I’ll be taking more Skill Pop classes – mostly for the classes, but you never know.

Image from Skill Pop.