“Stop laughing Janice!”

“Stop laughing Janice or you’re going to give yourself a hematoma!”

I’m not sure which was funnier: the Netflex series I was watching or Nurse Marsha of the American Red Cross fussing at me while I was donating platelets over the weekend. What I didn’t know before Saturday is that – while giving whole blood takes about 15 minutes – giving platelets takes about 3 hours during which both arms are pinned down. All the whole blood donation spots were full so I thought I’d give platelets.

I am an antsy person with itchy eyes. Between needing to scratch my eyes and laughing at episodes of Murderville, I was moving more than I was supposed to be moving.

“Stop laughing Janice or you’re going to give yourself a hematoma!”

First of all, no one calls me Janice. And secondly, I’d never been threatened with a hematoma before. This struck me as hilarious.

A lot of things are hilarious in everyday life. And in these days and every day we need to notice those things for our sanity.

I’ve been a pastor for almost 38 years and it’s been inspiring, joyful, exhausting, and funny. Sometimes the humor is dark. In fact, most of the time it’s dark.

I’ve experienced a ventriloquist funeral director, circus tent worship with wild animals trained to dance to organ music, a funeral soloist using karaoke to sing Celine Dion, a 21 gun salute with live bullets, a daughter of the deceased falling into the grave on top of the casket, and weddings with the following songs as processionals: I Love a Rainy Night, Feelings, and Stand Inside Your Love. I’ve been subpoenaed for accusing a man of pooping in the church parking lot (he wanted to sue me for defamation of character but it was tossed out in court) and someone from a 12-step group set up a mini-grotto on church property honoring me with photos he’d taken of me plus lots of candles.

As a mid-council leader I’ve had parishioners accuse their pastors of killing people, changing upholstery material without due process, and installing a swing set too close to the wrought iron cemetery fence.

Maybe this hit me all at once when I was lying in a recliner surrounded by other Good Deed Doers giving platelets on Saturday and Nurse Marsha singled me out. “Stop laughing Janice or you’re going to give yourself a hematoma!” But I laughed until I couldn’t breathe.

Exhausted People: it’s good for the soul to have a bout of doubled-over, tears-running-down-your-cheeks laughter, especially when you are trapped with no means of escape/connected to IVs. I strongly suggest it and yes, I got a hematoma in my left arm. It was totally worth it.

Image from the series Murderville which is one of the dumbest shows I’ve every watched, but if you are punchy or light-headed, it might be hysterically funny.