Real

While my denominational siblings are in Milwaukee for the PCUSA General Assembly, I spent last weekend at a family reunion to see my blood siblings and cousins and a favorite 97 year old aunt. Since I don’t live in NC anymore, this meant a hotel stay with bad coffee and not many independent coffee shops near the hotel, so I went to Starbucks on Sunday morning.

While waiting for my better-than-hotel-but-not-as-good-as-my neighborhood-coffee-shop coffee, I heard this conversation:

Two Young Adult Women Were Waiting for their Drinks:

YAW#1: So I’m on Klonopin now for my anxiety. What are you on?

YAW#2: I’m scared to tell you.

YAW#1: Don’t be scared. Everybody’s on meds.

YAW#2: I’m not on meds. But I worry about things.

YAW#1: I tried Cymbalta my freshman year but it made me all Comic Sans. (Waving her arms all around.)

Barista: Vodka!

YAW#1 grabs the pink drink.

YAW#2: You told them your name was Vodka?

YAW#1: Of course! I would never give them my REAL name.

I can’t stop thinking about this conversation because it reminds me that

• Jonathan Haidt is right
• People would rather spend a day on the lake than be in church
• Young people can drink pink drinks without worrying about the calories
• Instagram has ruined the culture (the two YAW instagrammed their drinks on their way out.)
• The state motto of North Carolina is Esse Quam Videri (“to be rather than to seem.”)

Successful managers, executives, and – of course – pastors have long been advised to be “authentic” which involves knowing the truth about ourselves and loving ourselves enough to be who we were created to be. Jesus reminds us about the value of worshipping God in spirit and in truth. And after overhearing that conversation in Starbucks, I heard a remarkable sermon comparing the leadership skills of Saul and the leadership skills of David (thank you WG) that reminded me that authenticity is all about knowing who we are and who God is. Saul was all about himself, leading with vengeance, jealousy, abuse of power, and fear while David – although quite imperfect – nevertheless was about the heart of God, leading with truth, humility, and appreciation.

We are anxious when we forget who we really are: people created in God’s image. The transgender woman, the Haitian refugee, the Israeli mother grieving her son murdered on 10-7-23, the Palestinian mother grieving her son murdered in Gaza, the child whose family has died in the Venezuelan earthquakes. You. Me. The young women with the pink drinks.

If we have a clear understanding of ourselves and each other as part of the extraordinarily diverse people created by all that is Holy and thoroughly Real, then we are free. We are free to disagree with each other without hate. We are free to tell the truth without fear. We are free to have the capacity to care for others as we care for ourselves. We are free to be more curious than judgmental.

There are conversations happening at the General Assembly this week about how we treat people with whom we disagree. If we take seriously the teachings of Jesus, we do not mock them or slander them or hate them. We love them into relationship. It’s exceedingly brave and Christlike to love our “enemies” even when they hurt us. Yes, we hold each other accountable and seek what last Sunday’s preacher called “authentic repentance.” (We don’t breezily say “I’m sorry” and then continue the same behavior that hurt people in the first place.)

This is hard work. And it’s also joyful work when the point of life is to seek the heart of God (rather than worry about how we look out there with our pink drinks.)

PS – For the record I have nothing against pink drinks as a beverage choice nor am I anti anxiety meds. Both have their place in this wonderful world.