Would You Ever Say Words Around Me?

Many years ago, I was having dinner with three Millennials in a Brooklyn restaurant. One was our TBC who grew up in the Church although her attendance in Brooklyn was occasional. One was her friend who grew up in a different congregation and her church attendance might have been less than occasional. The third Millennial one was a friend visiting from the U.K.

U.K. guy said that he’d heard that I was a Christian pastor and he was fascinated by this. “So you lead a church?” “What do you wear?” It was not the first time I was a curiosity in social circles.

Dinner arrived and the U.K. guy – who mentioned that his family had never been to church – said, “You know that thing that people do before they eat if they believe in God?” And I said, “Do you mean the blessing? It’s also called grace.”

“Yes!” he said. “Would you do that?”

We held hands while I thanked God for our food and the hands that prepared it. “That was nice,” U.K. guy said. “I can see why people would like that.”

For decades now, we Christians who still participate in a Church Community, have crafted our vocabulary, our church liturgies, and our newsletters for a “seeker” population, for people who might have a rudimentary understanding about the Christian Faith or the Organized Church. We used words like “lobby” instead of “narthex.” We refrained from preaching about the Doctrine of Soteriology and spoke about the things of this worldly life that holds us captive. I know churches that exchanged “Vacation Bible School” for “Summer Camp” (which happens to be sponsored by a church.)

A couple weeks ago, I was talking with my Lyft driver about what I do/did for work. He was literally taking me to church for Sunday morning worship. He actually had a Bible on the passenger seat of the car and he told me that he hadn’t grown up Christian or in a church, but he was in trouble and he was trying to figure out what to do.

[Note: This is not the first Lyft driver I’ve prayed with in my life. I never make the suggestion myself, but every once in a while, the Lyft driver would respond to the news that I was a pastor by asking if I’d be willing to pray with them before leaving the car. Coptics from Ethiopia. Sufi Muslims from Senegal. Lapsed Catholics from the South Side of Chicago. I’ve prayed with all kinds of people and consider it an enormous privilege.]

But this particular Lyft driver with a Bible in the passenger seat and burdens on his mind didn’t even have the words to ask me to pray with him.

Would you ever say words around me?” he asked?

Now this could mean several things, but it was clear that he was talking about something like prayer. And so I prayed for him words of hope and healing. He thanked me and asked if he could email me sometime to do that again over the phone. (Yes, he could have been a killer/stalker/scammer.) But I said I’d be happy to share my email with him. He has never contacted me but maybe he will one day. Or maybe he won’t.

It occurs to me that we are at least two generations (or in some places four generations) away from The Churched Generation who might not know the details of”The Good Samaritan” or “The Ten Commandments” but at least they’ve heard of those stories. They might have gone to Sunday School long ago. Maybe they’d played an angel in the annual Christmas pageant.

But we are now neighbors with thousands and thousands of people who don’t know what prayer is, much less know why/how/when to do it. In the last 24 hours, two Millennials have shared that they are “looking for a spiritual community.” They don’t know where to start.

Before we invite them to church, it feels holier to listen to what’s going on in their lives. Maybe we never invite them to church at all (unless they ask.) Maybe they need for us to simply say words around them that offer comfort and peace. The Holy doesn’t need all the stuff we’ve created for the purpose of bolstering The Institutional Church.

Don’t misunderstand me. The Institutional Church has fed God’s children – both spiritually and physically – for thousands of years. The Church has built hospitals and schools, camps and affordable housing. The Church has provided community in a million ways.

Some of us need to step away in a stained glass sanctuary to feel reverence for God. Some of us need chanting. Some of us need Country-Western songs. Some of us need fresh flowers. But God doesn’t need any of those things.

God doesn’t even need for us to say words around people that sound like a prayer. But it’s a good idea to plan for that possibility because so many people are broken and feeling alone. We who know that God Is With Us have been given the privilege to share that Truth with others – not as a weapon but as a holy moment.