A Church for Starving Artists

“It’s one of the American qualities that we absorbed — be optimistic, believe in happy endings, and that’s where we stand right now. But I’m not stupid. I understand what’s involved. But that’s what I choose to believe.” Ella Gershkovich

The parents of Evan Gershkovich – Ella and Mikhail – were interviewed last week about their son Evan’s arrest in Russia, accused of espionage. As I’ve previously shared, Evan is a friend our of TBC and we pray he will be set free soon along with Paul Whelan and all others falsely charged. Evan Gershkovich is a journalist for The Wall Street Journal covering the war in Ukraine.

Perhaps it is an American characteristic to be optimistic. We are the homeland of Disney movies and Jason Bourne, after all. We believe that:

• Things will turn out in the end,
• If you work hard enough, you will be successful,
• Anyone can be President.

So . . . the truth is that not everything works out in the end unless we are talking in cosmic/eternal terms, and most of us don’t know precisely what the cosmos/eternity will bring. Trust in the future and karma and heaven are all matters of faith. The truth is that many impoverished people work very hard and never reach the middle class. And while we live in a nation where both a reality TV personality and someone whose middle name is Hussein could be elected President in the same decade, not everybody can be President.

We choose to believe what we believe. And while I believe that these times are cataclysmic for our culture, I choose to believe that we will come out better on the other side. Ultimately.

Someone said to me recently, “This is a rough time for the Church.” And I agree. And I also believe that these changes are essential if we are going to become the Church as God intends it to be.

Easter morning felt especially secular this year. After church, HH and I went out to brunch and there was zero indication that it was Easter morning. No “Happy Easter” from the host. Nobody was dressed up. There were no “Easter Specials” on the menu. For the first time in my life, I’m not sure most of my neighbors knew – or cared – that it was Easter morning. And I live in the Bible Belt.

I hear of congregations doing extraordinary ministry. I see pastoral leaders offer profound sermons and pastoral care. And I also hear – over and over again – “where are the people?” “Will our members ever come back to Church?”

Maybe we are waiting for the wrong people. Believe me, there are people craving hope out there. There are people who wonder if anyone sees them, loves them, cares about them. They are God’s people. We are God’s people. But we in the Church have some work to do.

I believe that Jesus will always have a Church even if most of us church people miss the point. I believe in happy endings. I believe that the blind will receive their sight, the lame will walk, lepers will be cleansed, the deaf will hear, the dead will be raised up, and the poor will hear good news. I believe in the hope of Easter.

Image of Evan Gershkovich. Please pray for him today.

Why do political and/or theological rivals demonize each other with cartoonish characterizations?

I listened to Senator Tim Scott’s message this week about his exploratory committee regarding a run for the GOP nomination for President and it made me queasy. I like Tim Scott. He seems like a good person. And yet, when I heard his message it made me question his character. Does he intend to stoke division like a cynical politician? Or does he want to be the President of all US citizens? Among the things he said in that video:

• President Biden and his people are “the radical left.”
• Democrats promote “a culture of grievance” and “victimhood.”
• Democrats are “indoctrinating our children to believe we live in an evil country.”

Wow.

We have a joke in our family that any one of us – no matter how wholesomely or beneficently we may have lived our lives – would be crucified in this political climate if we ever ran for public office. Someone would dig up dirt on how we treated a prom date or something. I’m sure someone would find that pastoral prayer in which I prayed for Saddam during the Gulf War and declare that I hate the military.

We have got to stop demonizing each other.

I even hear church people (aka Followers of Jesus?) make up stories about people with opposing theological views for the sake of promoting their own theological views. Theology and Politics often align along the same lines: I hear Christians say that “you can’t be a Christian if you’re gay” and I hear Christians say that “you can’t be a Christian if you own an assault rifle.” The truth is that life is more complicated than cartoons. Although I might not understand how my sibling in Christ wants to eliminate difficult but real American history from the classroom, it’s better to talk to that person rather than write them off.

Jesus was executed because of political demonization. Haven’t we learned anything?

I’m not interested in voting for someone who calls their opponents “creators of a culture of grievance” anymore than I’m interested in voting for someone who calls their opponents “gun-toting Nazis.” I know. I know. Some of you are reading this and thinking “some people are hooked on grievances” and “some people are gun-toting Nazis.” There are certainly extremists on every side.

Resurrection is for each of us. And we begin by trying to understand our enemies, by praying for and with them. Jesus conquered hate and death which makes me know that we can as well.

Image is from The Mission Resource Network to offer support to independent congregations. I probably disagree with them on some things.

The great majority of pastors I know do NOT suffer from Talent Dysmorphia but I wanted to consider this after hearing the term on Ted Lasso this week. (No spoilers. It’s just a term I appreciated much like “Compliment Sandwich.”)

Ted Lasso is chock full of leadership lessons.

Back to Talent Dysmorphia though . . .

There are indeed some pastors who believe they are amazing preachers, teachers, and pastoral caregivers when their parishioners would disagree. These are the pastors who tend to forego Continuing Education classes, mentoring, and counseling. They don’t think they need to brush up on their sermon writing or delivery. They love their people even if their faces appear annoyed.

I also know pastors who struggle more with Imposter Syndrome. (“If people really knew me, they’d never let me be their pastor.“) For what it’s worth, here’s a good article about women and imposter syndrome. Some of us might have it because we’ve been told we aren’t enough/supposed to be in the room because of our gender or age or experience. We often believe what other people say about us, even if it’s not true.

I wonder if people who accuse their colleagues of being imposters actually – themselves – have Talent Dysmorphia. Maybe they believe they are smartest/most gifted people in the room to the detriment of their organization’s health. Nobody else can be successful if leaders believe they are the only successful ones. They have an unrealistic opinion of their own talent.

In happier news, the most effective pastors I know are lifelong learners (especially about their own psyches.) They don’t take themselves too seriously, but they take their calling very seriously. They laugh easily and have an obvious spark. They are self-aware. They know that they belong to God.

Image is Jack (actor Jodi Balfour) from Season 3 of Ted Lasso: The worst people often think they’re the best. My dad calls it “talent dysmorphia.”

I preached my 40th Easter Sermon in what is the historically oldest congregation in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina last weekend. Professional ministry and the preparation to become a professional minister have changed in those forty years.

Note: This is not a post about how it used to be better or harder so let’s make it harder for seminarians.

There are certainly generational differences in those entering seminary today and those who entered seminary 10-50 years ago. Requirements have changed. Demographics have changed. Expectations have changed. Seminaries have changed. Thanks be to God.

Today, we have online seminaries, weekend seminaries, commuter seminaries, and the traditional live-on-campus seminaries. Today it’s possible in many of our seminaries and/or denominations to be ordained without ever doing field education in a congregational setting, much less in a congregational setting that’s unlike one’s home church. Some people are even ordained to serve their own home church.

It used to be true that every seminarian was required to get experience in contexts unlike what’s familiar to them. For example, I grew up in a large small city church. I had planned to be a hospital chaplain when I started seminary, and took four units of Clinical Pastoral Education, and was also required to do field education in a church unlike my home congregation. My first call was not as a hospital chaplain but as a rural church pastor in a town of 400. But it was okay. When my sense of call changed (from chaplaincy to little rural congregation) I was prepared for a broad variety of contexts.

Philadelphia Presbytery and Princeton Theological Seminary are partnering to offer a really cool field education experience that involves students serving in congregational contexts but working to dream about community ministries working from those congregations. This is great training for 21st Century professional ministry.

I’ve often said that I wish I’d taken seminary classes in non-profit management and community organizing along with all the language, Bible, theology, practical, and history classes. I’ve taken continuing education courses in those other areas over the past decades. And I encourage new and seasoned pastors to branch out and fill out what seminaries didn’t teach with new learnings after ordination. (Note: pastors also need training in conflict resolution, leadership, stewardship and personnel management.)

This is not about hazing seminarians or pastors as in “when I was a student I had to walk ten miles to my field education church and work ten hours every Sunday – so you should have to do that too . . .” This is not about forcing busy people to become busier for the sake of the Gospel. This is definitely not making seminarians “marketable.” (A mid-council leader once told HH that he was impressively “marketable.” Gross.)

This is about being a well-rounded leader whom God is preparing to do whatever.

I still believe that professional ministry (and I include Chaplains, Educators and Youth Leaders here too) is an unusual calling in which we can expect God to lead us to serve in places we would never choose for ourselves. See Abram, Ruth, and Jonah. It always concerns me when a seminarian declares that they will never . . .

• Leave their hometown
• Serve a small church
• Live farther than 5 miles from a craft brewery
• Go to a part of the world they don’t want to ever go

It’s possible that God could call us to serve in a rural community where we don’t know anyone or in a part of the country where we don’t have family or a place with three diners and no coffee shop. It’s possible.

God gets to be God in terms of leading people. If God is doing the calling, all will be well even if it’s arduous.

I don’t believe God calls us to contexts that will be abusive or damaging. But I do believe God challenges us and blesses us in unlikely places. As a person who lived in the same (semi-perfect) town where I was born for the first 23 years of my life, it’s been a blessing to serve in three other states far-ish from home these past decades.

May this Eastertide offer deep insights and nuggets of wisdom. If you are a pastor or you are preparing to be a pastor, keep an open mind. God has unexpected plans for us.

Image of the chapel at the Charlotte Campus of Union Presbyterian Seminary.

On this – the holiest and the busiest – week of the Christian calendar, I am moved to honor courageous leaders remembering both the courage of some of Jesus’ followers and the lack of courage of even more of Jesus’ followers. Unfortunately this continues to be the trend.

We who say we love Jesus and hope to follow him but don’t live up to this aspiration, imagine being more courageous as a spiritual discipline this week. I thank God for the ones who say brave words, take unpopular but faithful stands, and make sacrifices for the sake of love.

To the elders who stand up to bullies even when they threaten to “leave” or “withhold their pledges” . . .

To the pastors who start worship with welcoming words to “All People – including Trans Kids” even though some disapprove . . .

To the church lady who sits beside the visitor to make him feel welcomed even though it’s not in her regular pew . . .

To the church gentleman who gets a cup of coffee for the visitor who doesn’t smell very fresh . . .

To the deacon who suggests to the other deacons that they reach out to their Muslim neighbors . . .

To the choir director who says “yes” when the Ghanaian church members ask to sing an anthem in Twi knowing that some will complain . . .

To the youth leader who stands with the non-binary tenth grader . . .

To the Christian Educator who teaches a Bible study focusing on anti-racism in a congregation that doesn’t believe there’s any racism.

Jesus spoke the truth in love. Jesus turned over tables when God was being mocked. Jesus stood with people who were hated, banished, and broken. To say that Jesus was courageous is a monumental understatement. He said all the brave words. He took unpopular but faithful stands. He made the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of love.

Just one time in the next few days – unlike Peter or the other disciples – let’s be courageous for the sake of all that’s good and just and pure.

Image source.

Sometimes we need permanent markers.

I’m not talking about the kind you keep away from toddlers. I’m talking about the ones that remind older children and adults that there are beautiful and terrible things in history we must never forget. There are acts of heroism we need to remember for inspiration and gratitude. There are acts of brutality we need to remember so they will never happen again.

When I was a child, there was a permanent historical marker in the small town of Mt. Mourne, NC along NC Highway 115 that reminded passers-by that “this was the place” where enslaved people were sold and put on a train headed south. It was near one of the largest plantations in Iredell County owned by Rufus Reid, a Presbyterian. He owned as many as 84 human beings.

As a child, my dad would stop alongside this permanent marker as we drove between Mooresville and Davidson, and he would point out that the town was called Mt. Mourne because of it’s legacy of trauma.

The train tracks are still there but the platform where the enslaved were forever separated from their families is gone. The historic marker is also gone and even Mt. Mourne’s wiki page doesn’t mention this history of selling people on a platform across from the train tracks. Even the origination of the town name has changed. It’s now said that Mt. Mourne was named for the Mourne Mountains in Northern Ireland.

Sometimes even a permanent marker is not permanent.

Last week – with 42 colleagues – I made my first pilgrimage to The Legacy Museum and The National Memorial for Peace and Justice in Montgomery, Alabama. The Equal Justice Initiative, founded and directed by Bryan Stevenson, created both this museum and memorial in order to tell a story that most of our U.S. History books do not tell.

Just as the Bibles many of us study include true stories of the mistreatment of women and children, slavery in Egypt, the worship of gold, the devastation of villages, and even the gory crucifixion of an innocent man whom some of us call The Living Word of God, real history – even if it’s excruciating and shameful – is essential for us to know. It reminds us who we are and who God is.

There are more than 176,473 permanent historic markers in the USA according to The Historical Marker Database with more added daily. There are markers at the homes of Clara Barton, Mary McLeod Bethune, and Davy Crockett. There are markers at U.S. Naval Base Pearl Harbor and Bunker Hill. There are even markers designating a Circus Train Wreck in 1918 in Indiana and the original Krispy Kreme Donut Shop in North Carolina.

Many of us prefer not to know about the excruciating and shameful parts of our U.S. history. When NFL Panther fans go to a home game at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, they probably don’t want to know that the first lynching in the city happened on what is now the 20 yard line under the turf. When tourists visit Mt. Rushmore, they probably don’t want to hear that the land was stolen from the Lakota people when the U.S. broke a treaty with them in 1877.

But we need to remember. We need to remember in order to honor those who have suffered. We need to remember in order to tell the truth about ourselves – which is my favorite verse before Sunday Prayers of Confession:

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:8-9

The Equal Justice Initiative continues to collaborate with local communities to install more permanent markers that tell the truth. My hope is that – one day – there will even be a marker at the Bank of America Stadium.

Image of a marker at the National Memorial for Peace and Justice commemorating the lynchings that occured in Rowan County, NC from where my people hail.

I once suggested that we “have a powwow soon” to a Native American church leader. I assumed that the Black man in a suit was a server. I touched Denise’s hair.

I am a White Person who has said, thought, and done ignorant things. I am ashamed of these things and I am trying to do better.

This week – with Denise – I’m facilitating a pilgrimage of mostly White Mid-Council Church Leaders to Montgomery, Alabama to focus of something my generation never learned about (and if some people get their way – no generation – will ever learn about): the history of racial violence in the United States of America.

It certainly didn’t end with George Floyd. And it didn’t begin with the enslavement of people. It’s happened throughout our nation’s history.

I am no less a grateful American knowing this information. In fact, I am a better American for knowing it. And I am more likely to marvel at the resilience of my dark-skinned siblings by knowing it. I am more likely to work to make it never happen again.

As we have prepared for this pilgrimage, some of my colleagues have expressed anxiety that they will say or do something ignorant. This is not the Woke Olympics. Each of us is not only capable but likely to show our ignorance. It will happen.

And this is why we learn new things. This is why we read books and watch films and take pilgrimages to visit The Legacy Museum and The Holocaust Museum and The Wounded Knee Museum and the World War II Japanese American Internment Museum along with our pilgrimages to Disneyworld. It’s essential to becoming a compassionate and educated human being.

Our FBC took a group of high school students to The Legacy Museum in 2022 and this documentary – created by three of those students – is getting a lot of attention. If you have 30 minutes, please watch it. It will inspire you more than it will trouble you. It will make you appreciate the youngest generation of Americans and honor those who have suffered. I hope it will move you to support public schools and their teachers.

I am a ridiculous Karen-adjacent White Person. And I’m trying to learn – not to be “woke” but to be more faithful to the God who created each of us in God’s image. May God have mercy on us who fail to acknowledge and confess.

Image is the sculpture Doubt by Titus Kaphar (2017) in The Legacy Museum.

Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria! Dr. Peter Venkman in the original Ghostbusters.

Utter chaos. Cindy Bolbach, Candidate for Moderator of the 219th General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) when asked what would happen if she wasn’t elected.

Progressive institutional leaders have specifically taught young progressives that catastrophizing is a good way to get what they want. From this article quoting Matt Yglesias & Jill Filipovic 

The world is a hot mess.

I say those words on a regular basis and it occurs to me that they are sort of true but not totally true. Lent is a great time to acknowledge that we are dust, apart from Jesus we are nothing, and we are indeed a hot mess. Some of us catastrophize for dramatic effect (Dr. Venkman) and some of us catastrophize because we are being brilliantly sarcastic (Cindy) and some of us catastrophize because we’ve been taught it’s useful in daily life.

Even if we try to follow Jesus, many of us are really good at focusing on what’s wrong. If we are connecting with the poor, the sick, the vulnerable, the lost, or the broken on a regular basis (which is what I believe we are all commanded to do) then an average week might have us spending time with someone who is considering suicide, someone whose cancer is not responding to treatment, someone who has monumental financial troubles, someone who has no friends, someone who is being abused but can’t leave, someone who is being vilified, or someone who is feeling utterly hopeless.

Hang on, friends. Resurrection is possible.

Don’t get me wrong. Jumping ahead to resurrection means we are not acknowledging the need to be resurrected. If I am a hot mess, I need to be saved from that. I need signs that life can be different.

I have profound hope in The Church of Jesus Christ as a community for those who want the world to be different. We see in Jesus someone who was destroyed by the Empire, castigated for standing with “the least of these” and mocked as a leader. His ways were not the ways of the powerful. Remember there were two parades the week of Jesus trial: one with a donkey (Jesus) and one with war horses (Pilate).

What gives me hope these days? Churches that love trans kids and remind them that God loves them beyond measure. Churches that partner with the poor rather than lord over the poor with toxic mission practices. Churches that use everything as a tool for ministry from their building (for community needs) to their underused property (for affordable housing, medical clinics, food pantries, clothing closets.)

As for Dr. Venkman, Cindy Bolbach, and the plight of teen-aged girls . . .

• The Ghostbusters saved the world from Gozer/the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man),
• Cindy was elected Moderator of my denomination,
• Compassionate people all over the world are studying the mental health needs of young people so that we can do better.

Yes, the world is a hot mess. And we can do better. And there is hope.

Image source (and a good article)

One of the profound joys of the kind of ministry I do involves witnessing the Holy Spirit match pastors and congregations. It’s a beautiful thing. When the vision of a passionate leader aligns with the vision of a passionate congregation, it fills my heart with joy.

But sometimes it’s not a good match. It’s better not to have a pastor than to wish you didn’t have one. It’s better not to have a pastoral call than to wish you didn’t have one. Bad fits are not the end of the world, but it’s best to avoid them.

Here are the top reasons why pastoral calls fail and Jesus weeps:

• The Pastor Search Committee (PNC) was in a rush and didn’t do their homework.
• The pastor was in a rush to be ordained/find a new position and didn’t do their homework.
• The church was desperately looking for a pastor – any pastor – and the pastor was desperately looking for a church – any church.
• The PNC lied to the pastor during the interview process. Actually there are conflicts. Actually there is financial instability. Actually we don’t want to serve our neighbors.
• The pastor lied during the interview process. Actually I don’t like pastoral care. Actually I loathe traditional music. Actually I have no idea how to talk to children.
• The candidate who interviewed so effectively didn’t show up for the real work.
• The candidate looks great on paper (degrees from great colleges and seminaries) but had weak personal skills.
• The church looks great on paper (wealthy suburb, lots of programming) but has more fear than faith.
• The pastor is a bully and it wasn’t evident until they moved into the position.
• The congregation has bullies and they seemed so helpful until the pastor challenged them.

It damages us – spiritually, emotionally, and physically – when pastoral calls don’t work out. We might lose our faith, our self-confidence, and our joy. I know pastors who have never had a happy/successful call and it shows. They are often bitter.

Sometimes it’s just not a good fit. The church is truly wonderful. The pastor is truly gifted. But authentic expectations were not expressed and it was a battle from day one. When a pastor has a single “bad fit” experience, it doesn’t preclude future success. It could be a one off.

And sometimes pastoral ministry in general is not a good fit even if we have seminary degrees. Unlike the fields of medicine and law when finishing up all the required courses and exams automatically makes you a doctor or lawyer, the field of pastoral ministry is not like that. It’s not a certification process. Finishing all the required courses and exams doesn’t make someone a pastor. It makes it possible to become a pastor if the community sees you as a pastor and affirms your calling.

How do you tell someone “You are not called to this ministry?” Sometimes it’s simply not a good fit. And that’s okay.

Not aligning with a specific field of ministry, much less with a specific congregation doesn’t mean we are failures to the universe (although it will feel like that.) In the timeless words of Regina George, “Stop trying to make fetch happen.”

A parable:

A candidate for ordination who had made excellent grades and fulfilled all the requirements for ordination could not find a church call for over two years. They were sure that being female and queer was the reason why no church would call them. They were angry.

The denominational leader invited this candidate to get together to talk about the situation. They met in a denominational office. When the candidate showed up for the meeting, they were wearing this hoodie and flip flops.

Maybe it’s possible that someone can’t get a call for reasons we are missing.

Are PNCs sometimes sexist or homophobic or ageist or racist? Definitely. Does God make holy things happen even when PNCs are sexist or homophobic or ageist or racist? Definitely. And sometimes we are simply not a good fit.

A good fit is holy. It’s worth the wait to discern one.

TBC is my extremely wise thirty year old daughter, and she and I were recently comparing notes on my parenting skills and the skills of other parents in terms of how well we parents have taught our children sex education, life skills, etc. Like every parent, I fell short in countless ways and yet TBC is gracious and said, “Mom you did the best you could.” In the course of four years, I had 3 kids, lost both parents, was pastoring a church. It was a lot. And I did the best I could. And it was fine.

Grace abounds, thanks be to God.

This is an excellent article (thanks MTB) about mental health trends in teenage girls and it states – basically – that social media is not helping. We all know people living their best lives on Instagram and their “best” involves perfectly curated vacations and toned abs after eating made-from-scratch empanadas. It’s easy to feel less than.

Consider this from the linked article by Jon Haidt:

By 2015, it was becoming normal for 12-year-old girls to spend hours each day taking selfies, editing selfies, and posting them for friends, enemies, and strangers to comment on, while also spending hours each day scrolling through photos of other girls and fabulously wealthy female celebrities with (seemingly) vastly superior bodies and lives. The hours girls spent each day on Instagram were taken from sleep, exercise, and time with friends and family. What did we think would happen to them?

There seems to be a cultural lack of grace in 2023. Grace for ourselves. Grace for our children. Grace for our parents. Grace for each other.

A young woman I know recently told me that she doesn’t believe in grace. If you hurt her, she is done with you. This feels like a really hard way to live.

Each of us has our own experiences bringing joy, trauma, bitterness, inspiration and deep grief. A treasured friend of mine was literally hit by a car while on a run a few years ago and her body continues to suffer consequences. And yet, she said to me today that everybody has something like being hit by a car. For some it could simply be a really bad broken leg. For others, it could be infertility or betrayal or crushing debt. And everybody’s doing the best they can.

I write a lot about racism, white supremacy, Church World, leadership, things Jesus did and did not die for, growing older, and random other things. Sometimes I get comments that say more about the commenter than me and that’s okay. We are doing the best we can.

To the person who texted me from an unknown number last week that they would bash my face in if they ever met me: I hope you are okay. I don’t know what you need, but I hope you receive it and find peace.

Monday, March 20 is Mr. Rogers Day and read the comments to learn what that is. I’m grateful that he was an instrument of grace in this world. His calm wisdom continues to bring healing and inspiration. Have a wonderful week.