A Church for Starving Artists

The Charlotte Millennial Report never mentions the word “church.”  Not one time.  Also not mentioned: the word “spiritual.”

I was not surprised but was hoping to be surprised.

[Quick review: I read the report over the weekend. It’s okay but not life-changing, at least for me.  I feel queasy whenever anyone of any generation makes statements like, “Millennials like ____.”]

Back to God things.

Millennials are spiritual human beings – as are other generations before and after them.  It’s just that most Millennial human beings find spiritual nourishment in something different from what fed their parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents.

We human beings – of all generations – are created to be in community, to find meaning, to serve something Greater than ourselves.  Some people are fed by 19th or 20th Century worship traditions.  And many are not.

But our churches/spiritual communities need to pay attention to what nourishes 21st Century souls – regardless of generation.

If you feel closer to God wearing a coat and tie or navy pumps on Sunday morning sitting in traditional church pews and hearing a three point sermon and a pipe organ – keep doing that.  If you serve your Maker by participating in church committees and singing in the choir, please continue to do these things.  I’m completely serious about this.

But note that most people feel close to God, most people serve their Maker in other ways.  The way human beings have honored their Creator has evolved throughout the ages.  Once it was not having sex certain times of the month or taking great pains to sacrifice a dove in a precise way.  For some today, it’s tithing 10% of one’s income.  For others it’s studying scripture in a comfortable church parlor.  And for others it might be taking part in an after school program for first graders or learning to speak Spanish in order to communicate with the new neighbors or buying Fair Trade coffee.

Our job as disciples of Jesus is to help make that connection between caring for each other and for the world and the God of the universe. 

Our calling is to be cultural tour guides connecting what we see out there (and in “here” – our souls) with the living Word of God (i.e. Jesus.)

We cannot possibly make these connections with dated connectors.  According to Charlotte’s Millennial Report 20 to 30-somethings are moved by images, peer review, and transparency.  Word of mouth is how most people – even in my generation – learn about new restaurants, good movies, and inspiring art.

When was the last time your congregation’s life together was the buzz around town?

Because the God we worship is exceptional, our churches also need to be The Exception to the world’s darkness.  In a world rife with blackface photos, uncovered sexual assaults and fake news, we are called to be radically just, wholly respectful and utterly true.

And we have a lot of lamentation, repentance, and reparations to make before anyone will take The Church seriously.  Who is up for this – for the sake of the Gospel?

You can order the 2018 Charlotte, NC Millennial Plan here.  Even if you don’t live in Charlotte, it offers ideas for all cities and towns (and congregations.)

Power is good.

It can be a tool to transform neighborhoods and repair the breach.  It can open doors and offer opportunities.  It can reveal the truth and melt away shame.

It can also cause chaos and unspeakable misery.  Examples:

1. Ralph Northam, Justin Fairfax, Mark Herring
2. Oscar Arias
3. The Roman Catholic Church
4. Every other church which has covered up misconduct
5. Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, etc. etc. etc. etc.

Why does it feel like there is so much misbehavior these days?  (Quick answer: Humans are really good at sin.)

Each of those listed above ostensibly used their power for their own benefit – whether their power was based on white privilege, money, celebrity, physical strength, or ecclesiastical role.  Their choices  – whether thoughtless or strategically planned – have brought deep pain to a wide swath of human beings.

I have a simple request:  can each of us consider the power we have and try to use it for good today?

• Speak up if you see someone being gaslit.
• Stand between a person and her bully.
• Use your influence to clear the path for somebody.
• Pay attention to the needs in front of our faces.

We were created to care for something beyond ourselves.

Have a good weekend.

I love an historic cemetery.  My parents are buried in one.  Here are some of my favorites.

Cemeteries are holy and beautiful places.  But some of us love them more than we love Jesus.  Or we love the people buried there more than we love Jesus. (Same thing?)

Not only are we unsure about where Jesus was buried (there are at least two options) but worshiping the cemetery can kill one of Jesus’ congregations.

How do we know if our church is at risk of Death by Historic Cemetery? Here are some questions to ask ourselves:

1. Are there more members of The Cemetery Committee than the Board of Elders?
2. Do we spend more money on irrigating the cemetery than we spend on Christian education?
3. When someone asks, “What excites you about your church’s ministry?” do people say, “We have a beautiful cemetery“?
4. Do church leaders spend more than 15 minutes per year discussing cemetery needs?
5. Are ministry opportunities voted down based on the location of the cemetery?  (Examples: “The youth shouldn’t play soccer in that field beside the graves because it’s disrespectful.”  “We can’t build a warehouse for disaster relief beside the cemetery because it will look ugly when people come to pay their respects.”
6. Has there ever been a church fight about the cemetery?

Just as people die and are buried in cemeteries, whole congregations can also die and find themselves buried in their cemetery.  Remember when angels asked the women at Jesus’ grave why they were looking for the living among the dead?

Thriving spiritual communities are living, breathing, laughing, thinking, comforting bodies of human beings who gather for community and ministry.  Whether your church building has a cemetery or not – at your next church meeting – note how much time is spent discussing dead things (buildings, cemeteries, parking lots) and how much time is spent discussing living things (children, youth, adults, neighbors.)

It will offer a clue about whether your church is more in love with the living God or with death.

Image of Thyatira Presbyterian Church Cemetery in Rowan County, NC where three pirates are buried.  The story goes that they had left their pirate lifestyle on the N.C. coast and became farmers in the middle of the state, only to be discovered and subsequently hanged.

Jackie Robinson’s 100th birthday would have been last week on January 31st and so there were clips and remembrances of him as  “the first African American to play in Major League Baseball in the modern era.”

The truth is that he was not the first African American good enough to play MLB.  He was not the first African American baseball player with the character to stand up to blatant racism with grace.  He was not the first African American baseball player with an extraordinary arm.

Jackie Robinson was the first African American allowed to play Major League Baseball.  This can be said for all the major African American “firsts”:

Hiram Revels was the first African American allowed to serve in the United States Senate. (1870)

Mae Jemison was the first African American woman allowed to fly in outer space. (1992)

Richard Theodore Greener was the first African American allowed to graduate from Harvard University. (1870)

Bessie Coleman was the first African American – as well as the first Native American – woman allowed to have a pilot’s license. (1921)

Rebecca Lee Crumpler was the first African American woman allowed to practice medicine as a licensed physician. (1864)

Charlotte E. Ray was the first African American woman allowed to practice law in the United States. (1872)

Douglas Wilder was the first African American allowed to serve as a governor in the United States. (1990 in Virginia)

There were many others who were never allowed.  They had the skills, the brains, the physical gifts, and the temperament to serve in politics, science, sports, engineering, and academics.  But they didn’t have the opportunity.  (White) People were not “ready” for it.

We must continue to lift up these “first” historic figures while also remembering that – actually – they were the first allowed to fulfill their calling but not necessarily the first who could have had that achievement.

Note to Church:  how are opening doors for talented children, teenagers, and young adults to use the gifts God gave them?  How are we allowing people with fewer opportunities than we have had to thrive?

Image is the Rev. Dr. Katie Cannon – the first African American woman allowed to be ordained as a Minister of the Word and Sacrament in the Presbyterian Church USA.

Note: Robin DiAngelo makes this same point about ‘being allowed’ in her book White Fragility about Jackie Robinson. Great read.

Jackie Robinson’s 100th birthday would have been last week on January 31st and so there were clips and remembrances of him as  “the first African American to play in Major League Baseball in the modern era.”

The truth is that he was not the first African American good enough to play MLB.  He was not the first African American baseball player with the character to stand up to blatant racism with grace.  He was not the first African American baseball player with an extraordinary arm.

Jackie Robinson was the first African American allowed to play Major League Baseball.  This can be said for all the major African American “firsts”:

Hiram Revels was the first African American allowed to serve in the United States Senate. (187)

Mae Jemison was the first African American woman allowed to fly in outer space. (1992)

Richard Theodore Greener was the first African American allowed to graduate from Harvard University. (1870)

Bessie Coleman was the first African American – as well as the first Native American – woman allowed to have a pilot’s license. (1921)

Rebecca Lee Crumpler was the first African American woman allowed to practice medicine as a licensed physician. (1864)

Charlotte E. Ray was the first African American woman allowed to practice law in the United States. (1872)

Douglas Wilder was the first African American allowed to serve as a governor in the United States. (1990 in Virginia)

There were many others who were never allowed.  They had the skills, the brains, the physical gifts, and the temperament to serve in politics, science, sports, engineering, and academics.  But they didn’t have the opportunity.  (White) People were not “ready” for it.

We must continue to lift up these “first” historic figures while also remembering that – actually – they were the first allowed to fulfill their calling but not necessarily the first who could have had that achievement.

Note to Church:  how are opening doors for talented children, teenagers, and young adults to use the gifts God gave them?  How are we allowing people with fewer opportunities than we have had to thrive?

Image is the Rev. Dr. Katie Cannon – the first African American woman allowed to be ordained as a Minister of the Word and Sacrament in the Presbyterian Church USA.

Note: Robin DiAngelo makes this same point about ‘being allowed’ in her book White Fragility about Jackie Robinson. Great read.

If this is your calling, please contact me.

80% of Americans live in or near cities. But most want to live in the country.

Rural churches are challenging for pastors – especially if you want to be near a Target or a Trader Joe’s.  In Kathleen Norris’ classic Dakota, she noted that McDonald’s wouldn’t come to Lemmon, South Dakota because the population – hovering around 1000 – was simply too small.  Believe me, Starbucks has perfected their calculations about where to open a new store.  They don’t do rural.

If you are married, it will probably be hard for your spouse to find a job.  If you have children, the schools will not offer the same enrichment opportunities as a suburban school.  If you are single, dating will be tricky.

I lived in the lovely rural village of Schaghticoke, NY for the first five years of my professional ministry.  It was a wonderful experience, but it was also profoundly lonely.  I was 28 years old on the day of my installation and I stayed for five years.

And yet, the stories are better in a rural church.  There will be interesting billboards, colorful county fairs, and perhaps a Bigfoot sighting.  The people will be extraordinarily smart in ways that most people are not very smart.  They will care for each other and for their pastor.  Most of them will be related to each other.

As the graph above shows and the accompanying Washington Post article attests, many people like the idea of moving to a rural community.  But the jobs are not there.  Most of the mills and factories have moved out of small towns, and the farming industry is not what it once was.  Many rural communities have few children because – after high school – many young people move to where the jobs or colleges are, and they never return.

Opioid addiction and teenage pregnancy continue to be rampant in rural areas.  One rural resident explained that “there isn’t much to do to distract the kids around here.”  Drugs and sex have long been ready distractions in every kind of community.

So who will follow God’s call to serve small rural congregations?  We need entrepreneurial leaders who connect well with a wide variety of people and personalities.  Rural pastors need more flexibility than big city or suburban pastors.  They need to be okay with not being paid well.  (Even at a minimum salary, they might earn more than anyone else in their community.)  They need hobbies that don’t require theater tickets, bowling alleys, or gourmet restaurants.

Most of all, they will need to love God’s people deeply.

What would it take for you to seek a call in a rural community?

This post will not be about drums, guitars, screens,  or “how to get Millennials to fill out church pledge cards. (Answer: you can’t.)

Instead, I have some interesting not-fake news:

More Millennials are moving to Charlotte, NC than any other city in the United States. 

(I now live in Charlotte so that’s fun.)

This stat comes from the 2015 U.S. Census Bureau which rated Charlotte with a 10,707 net migration figure for people between the ages of 20 and 34.  Net migration = the # of Millennials who moved into Charlotte minus the # of Millennials who moved out.

You most likely do not live in Charlotte but all of us can learn from a report that’s getting some attention in this area.  The Charlotte Millennial Plan is being created by a group of fifth year architecture students at UNC Charlotte who were given a grant to study why Millennials are moving here.  Their study is called:

#ShapeCLT, “A Vision for Charlotte. By Millennials. For Millennials.”

Why do people – specifically a generation of young adults between ages 20 and 34 move anywhere?  According to initial findings, Millennials are looking for:

• Connectedness – strong physical and digital interactions
• Liveliness – “street life, transparency, movement, sound, color, visual busyness.”
• Radical inclusion – “a synergy of cultures”
• Urgent innovation – “unafraid of radical change; tackling contemporary issues with urgency.”
• Ecocentricity – concern for the environment
• Health – personal well-being
• Sharing – creative cooperation while fully supporting “the sharing economy”
• Uniqueness – interesting architecture, history, geography, and local culture.

I would like to live in such a place as well and I’m 62.

And – because I’m theologically wired to return back to Church World – what does this mean for our congregations?  How many of our congregations reflect the features highlighted above?

How many of our churches are authentically connected, lively, radically inclusive, urgently innovative, ecocentric, healthy, engaged in economic partnerships, and uniquely interesting?

Not to be a downer, but my hunch  is that most of our congregations are disconnected, boring, exclusive, stuck, styrofoam-loving, lethargic, economically segregated, and not very unique or interesting.  (Sorry.)

What will be The Millennial Plan for the 21st Century Church?  It has nothing to do with drums, guitars, screens,  or “how to get Millennials to fill out church pledge cards.” It has everything to do with authentic relationships with each other and with the world in which we find ourselves.

This is going to take some pondering, prayer and deep discernment, my friends – no matter where we live if we are serious about serving younger generations (and maybe all generations) in the future.

You can order the 2018 Charlotte Millennial Plan here. 

Even if you don’t live in Charlotte, you might discover insights for your city, town, or suburb.

Next week:  Rural Churches.

Nathan said to David, “You are the man!” 2 Samuel 12: 7a

In this situation between Nathan and David, it was not good to be “the man.”  David was quick to berate the rich man in Nathan’s parable not realizing that he was that guy.  He just couldn’t recognize it in himself.

I can relate.

Among my professional experiences . . .

• A parishioner complained about “welfare moms” while he had forgotten that his own mother had been on welfare when he was a child.
• A tune-challenged choir member expressed frustration with the quality of the voices while nobody had the heart to tell him that his pipes were not what they were forty years ago.
• A pastor frustrated about the former pastor showing up for both church and social events while being unaware of her own tendencies to contact and spend time with her own former parishioners.
• A certain boundary training leader (that would be me) getting involved in a conflict in a former church.  Excuse: The Clerk of Session “begged me” to make a phone call.

Nope. No. Never. Ever.  We often don’t see ourselves as guilty of the same infractions we accuse others of.

We pastors  – especially – don’t think we are the ones in violation of healthy boundaries.  We can see it in colleagues, but we don’t see that we are often the men (and women) who need to clean up our acts.

• But they are my friends.
• But they are my spouse’s friends.
• But they are my children’s friends.
• But I just want to come back and enjoy worship in the pews.
• But they really want me to officiate at their wedding.
• But I’ve known the family for 20 years.

It doesn’t matter.  If we genuinely love the congregations we’ve left, we will make a clean break and let the current pastor(s) form friendships and pastoral relationships with them – unless and only if we are first invited by the current pastor.

And this doesn’t mean telling former parishioners, “Sorry, I can’t officiate at the baptism/wedding/funeral unless ___ agrees.”  This is unfair.  It puts the new leader in a no-win situation.  Just say no.  Maybe the current pastor will indeed invite you and if so, great.

Friends are so valuable.  We need them.  And maybe we can be friends again under different circumstances. But as roles change, we need to get out of the way so that the churches we used to serve (and still love) can thrive under new leadership.

I’ve got a wicked cold and am trying to sleep more, so after Boundary Training yesterday, this is all I want to share – as a gentle reminder, Church Folk:

• In a healthy church, the treasurer doesn’t keep records at home.
• In a healthy church, leaders faithfully take their Sabbath time.
• In a healthy church, former pastors stay away unless invited by the current pastor.
• In a healthy church, former pastors stay away unless invited by the current pastor.  (Yes, I wrote that twice.)

What would you add?

I am not interested in being one of those moms who persistently asks my young adult kids when they are having children.  Maybe they won’t.  Maybe they will.  I will always have children in my life by virtue of my work and my choices, and while I would love to be Grand Jan one day (yes, I have chosen my own grandmother name based on Jacqueline Onassis’ grandmother name), it’s okay if it doesn’t happen.  My kids are fairly perfect with or without being parents themselves.

BUT . . . if HH and I should be so blessed, I would like grandchildren in any and all colors.

Tom Brokaw has apologized for his recent comments on Meet the Press, but his words stung because there are probably millions of white people who secretly – or not-so-secretly – share his concern about “intermarriage.”

Also, I hear, when I push people a little harder, “Well, I don’t know whether I want brown grandbabies.” I mean, that’s also a part of it. It’s the intermarriage that is going on and the cultures that are conflicting with each other. I also happen to believe that the Hispanics should work harder at assimilation. That’s one of the things I’ve been saying for a long time.

Lord have mercy.

This reality is gross and disappointing to say the least, but it’s real.  We are a systemically racist nation.  Systemic racism is ingrained in our culture, our history, and our deepest psyches.  It’s one of our most common and ugliest sins.

Do I really have to say that children are children?  They are human beings created in the image of God in every color, shape and size. How do we continue to miss this in the year of our LORD 2019?

I feel ridiculous writing about this today.  Good grief, Tom Brokaw.  But the good news is that I could have brown grandbabies someday which would be amazing.

Image of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis with one of her grandchildren in 1992.