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We pastors work with many people who spend most of their time in a variety of other cultures:  

• Corporate people
• Secular non-profit people
• Government people
• Blue Collar people
• Academic people

All of us have experienced being in a church leadership discussion and someone has said,

• “In the corporate world, we do it this way . . .”
• “That’s how we do it at the Red Cross/PTA/ESL Office/Shelter . . .”
• “If we were a doctor’s office, we’d . . .”
• “I know that my gym/salon/school/shop always . . .”

We in the church are informed by everybody’s culture, and the dominant culture depends upon the context and DNA of the congregation.  Sanctuaries surrounded by the 1% take on a corporate culture.  Sanctuaries surrounded by corn fields taken on a farm culture (which means – in 2014 – people are in survival mode . . . unless the farming in their community has become corporate.)

Sometimes secular culture helps spark necessary shifts in Church World. Sometimes it makes us coarse and modeling little resemblance to Christ.

What if we tried to shift the culture of our congregations, regardless of what that culture might be?

Helpful Elder:  “In terms of letting the church secretary go, I know that in the corporate world, we hand her a pick slip and tell her to pack their things and be out of the office in an hour.”

Pastor:  “But do we want our church to model a corporate culture or something that looks more like the kingdom of God?”  

***

Church Personnel Chair:  “It’s not our problem if the pastor’s child is sick.  He needs to be in the office for regular office hours.  This would never fly at the bank where I work.”

Personnel Committee Member:  “But we are not a bank.  We are a church.  How can we help our pastor in this difficult time?”

See what I mean?  I’m not saying that we in the church need to become ooey gooey Nice Machines without expecting professionalism and accountability. But people expect more from the church.  There is a hope-against-hope that people who self-identify as followers of Jesus would display characteristics that are more Christlike and less Trump-like.

What is the dominant culture in your spiritual community?  Corporate? Academic?  Individualistic?  Family-centered? Political? Macho? Kingdom of God?  And how would you like your church’s culture to change?  (Not rhetorical questions.  I’d really like to know.)

Image source.

One of the most gratifying privileges in my ministry is spending time with new pastors. Specifically CL and I spend time with the 23rd New Pastors Cohort in our Synod. Two retreats per year for three years plus a twice/year gathering of “Jan’s Group” – our cohort-within-the-cohort.

I love these new pastors – not just because they are smart and passionate and interesting, but also because they allow me to learn from them as surely as they learn from each other. It’s better than Easter dessert.

We just returned from retreating for three days and here are some of the things I learned that I hope – in particular – my more seasoned colleagues will consider as we are all attempt to expand the reign of God as The Church:

• Associate Pastors have not been called to “help the Head of Staff” as if their purpose is to be Robin to the church’s Batman/Batwoman. They have their own calling, and their gifts are best used when collaboration is the cultural norm.
• If the future of professional ministry is bi-vocational, we’ve got to help these colleagues figure out how to balance life and (at least) two separate vocations. Working seven days/week is not sustainable. Connectional denominations – by virtue of our DNA – must help out our bi-vocational colleagues. Offer to preach one Sunday, to teach a class, to cover for emergencies when our colleague needs a break.
• It takes a while to figure out a work/life rhythm for any pastor. Church members can help by remembering that most of what pastors do is never observed by church members. Church Personnel Committees: talk with your pastors about what feeds them, what frustrates them, what they are doing that is not on their job description. Don’t try to check out their every move as if you don’t trust them.
• Any church member committed to Being the Church (as opposed to belonging to some kind of spiritual club) needs basic training in How to Talk to Strangers, How to Welcome People Who Don’t Look Like We Look, How to Pray Out Loud, How to Imagine a Church Beyond Attendance, Building, and Cash.

That’s just the beginning of what I learned or re-learned this week from my young colleagues. We are a better church because of the ministry of new pastors who never grew up in the heyday of the Mainline.

The posts this week will be limited until Thursday because I’m headed to a retreat of New Pastors. In preparing for the longish drive, I took my car for an oil change Friday.

There were three of us in the waiting room: two Black women and one White woman. (That would be me.)

I was called by the mechanic to chat about my car needs:

Mechanic (to me, The White Woman): Ma’am, I’d like to talk to you about your Volvo.

Me: Actually, I’m the 2006 Honda with no grill.*

Mechanic: You aren’t driving the Volvo?

Me: Nope. One of those other ladies must drive the Volvo.

I was wearing yoga pants and my Cindy Bolbach for Moderator t-shirt. The Volvo lady was wearing a really nice suit. So, why in the world would someone think I was the owner of the Volvo, unless it was because ______?

Image source.

*Someone took my car grill a couple weeks ago. Really.

The length of these posts is proportionate to the level of my exhaustion.  So this will be brief.

I like for things to make sense and sometimes they just don’t.  Perhaps you can help.

Here are three things I simply do not understand:

1. Lardo.  It might be a hipster food, but we know it’s just Italian lard, right?  I don’t care if you put rosemary on it.  It’s. Still. Fatback.
2. Pork Weaponry.  Bacon is also a hipster food and – for that and other reasons – it doesn’t belong in the shoes of unsuspecting Muslims.  Honestly, who does that?  This guy.
3. Maniacal Compartmentalising.  How can someone preach such an exquisite sermon that the deepest parts of a human being’s soul are lifted beyond measure, while secretly eating human babies in dark alleys when the sun goes down?  Okay, maybe this dichotomy is extreme.  But how do we get our heads around human contradictions?  The brilliant doctor who self-medicates with MDMA.  The conservative politician who secretly hangs out at bath houses.  All of us are a bundle of secret contradictions, but some of us have taken it to a new level that requires special attention.

Helpful readers (and especially you lurkers out there):  feel free to impart your wisdom.

Image:  Yes, that’s Starry Night created out of bacon.

Easter Sunday offered multitudinous opportunities to share kudos with people:

• You look awesome in those pink and green pants.
• You blew the roof off with that sermon.
• Your choral anthem was better than Prozac.
• You totally know how to corral overly-sugared kids.
• Your leg of lamb is to die for. (Get it?)
• Your mousse is amazing.
• Your prayers were so soothing.
• You play a mean trumpet.
• Nobody can arrange flowers like you.

It’s much harder to share more difficult news with friends: that they will never sing like Aretha, they will never write like Flannery, they will never preach like Nadia.

Especially when someone believes that he or she is gifted and called to serve as a pastor, receiving constructive criticism about pastoral competencies can feel crushing.  But the truth is that there are almost countless competencies that a professional pastor needs.  (The PCUSA has identified only 33.)  And while someone might be enormously gifted in pastoral care, that same Bedside Manor Rock Star might be an uninspiring preacher.  No pastor has it all.

So, how do we lovingly share with someone that “this isn’t your gift” especially when he or she believes it is?

Yesterday’s post was about failure and the importance of taking risks in life and ministry – even when we fail.  We learn more from our failures than our successes.  But certain circumstances are necessary to learn through, rather than being devastated by, our failures:

• We need to trust each other.  If I trust you, you can tell me anything and I will take it very seriously, even if it hurts.
• Ministry is not about us and what we want.  It’s essential to ask, “What’s best for the community?” instead of “What’s good for me?”   I might want to be a celebrity preacher, but if people are not transformed by my preaching, then maybe it’s not my gift.
• Knowing what are not our gifts is just as crucial as knowing what our gifts indeed are.  I am not a money person.  Don’t make me your treasurer.  There are quite a few other  not-my-gifts but I’ll keep those to myself.
• We can work on those things that are not our gifts and improve in our areas of incompetency, but honestly, God loves us even if we aren’t perfect.  Who knows? Maybe Jesus couldn’t carry a tune.   (But it’s fun to imagine him singing like a Middle Eastern Rufus Wainwright.  Really.  Picture it.)

It’s a good friend who can look us in the eye and say:  “This is not your gift, but it’s okay.”  “You are great at ___ but you really do suck at ___.”  “Maybe this is just not a good match.”  “You don’t seem happy doing ____.”  

Everybody is called to ministry.  But everybody is not called to every ministry.

Image source.

So imagine that you and a group of friends feel a gnawing tug to try something new in your church community:

• Bible study in the bakery
• Steel drums in worship
• Women’s retreat on a sailboat
• VBS in a nature preserve
• New church in the bowling alley

What would keep us from doing it?

• No money?
• No back up?
• No guts?
• No imagination?

This article asks a great question for churches: Are We Failing at Failing? I believe the answer would be a resounding Yes. We seem to be so afraid of failure that we don’t dare try something new, even if it would make disciples and love our neighbors.

Are we so paralyzed by fear of failure that we would continue to choose easy but stale over difficult but inspiring? Are our own congregations (ostensibly “Communities of Grace”) the first to savage us when our plans fizzle? Are we more afraid of displeasing church bullies than displeasing God?

In these days of financial strains for many of our congregations, the fear of “wasting money” is overwhelming. It’s not uncommon for higher judicatories to frown upon creative projects – even well thought-out and fiscally responsible projects – for fear of an epic fail.

Jesus, for one, was considered a human failure in the eyes of both his enemies and his followers, at least until something amazing happened on that first Easter. The Pentecostal coming of the Holy Spirit sealed the deal. And we who sang resurrection songs just a couple days ago have already forgotten that God works through unlikely people and situations.

Also God seems to be a big fan of risk. Sometimes the risks seem foolish, but occasionally they have an amazing impact in terms of making earth a bit like heaven.

What if we started pondering now – in this season of Easter – some new ministry that might be planted and nurtured when the season of Pentecost rolls around?Who’s up for a creative launch?

Image source.

And now we rest.

Pastors, church musicians, and other congregational leaders find themselves with that shot-out-of-a-cannon feeling this morning – Easter Monday.  While regular people are overcoming a Peeps hangover or planting pansies, church people are discerning “what worked?” and “what didn’t work?”

Here are a couple questions to ask in the post-Resurrection Sunday Debrief:

• Were questions asked that real people are asking?  I know a pastor whose Easter message – several years ago – asked the question: “Did Jesus really rise from the dead on a Wednesday instead of a Sunday?”  Honestly, who cares about that?  What about questions like:  “How do I find resurrection if my life feels inconsolably broken?”
• Did you address the world beyond your congregation?  250 souls are still missing from the April 16 of a ferry accident in South Korean, most of whom were high school students.  On April 15, about 100 Nigerian girls were kidnapped from their school, and although most of them were freed on Wednesday, the experience has left them traumatized.
• Did you address where resurrection is needed in your own neighborhood?  Are your police officers tracking down heroin traffickers in your town?  Are your school teachers working with students who experience tenuous home situations?  What are the unemployment figures for your suburb?
• Was the church real?  Were life problems glossed over in favor of a “Happy Easter”?  Was everybody about smiles and candy without noticing the people for whom Easter is a difficult holiday?
• Was the church more than merely friendly?  Did guests experience authentic hospitality during which they felt genuinely welcomed, and not just become they could add to the offering plate? Were announcements, liturgy, and Easter activities shared with an eye on those who have never been in church before?

Many of our congregations do not debrief at all.  Many others debrief on topics such as this:  “Did we have enough Easter Eggs for the hunt?”  “Was the sermon too long?”  “Were the lilies arranged well?”   While these questions might be helpful in terms of cursory issues, the bigger issues involve whether or not the broken were invited to find wholeness and the dead-inside glimpsed resurrection.   The bigger questions for the debrief involve whether or not our efforts revealed something transformational and holy, as opposed to something entertaining and self-serving.

Perhaps the biggest question:  Did we help people see Jesus?

Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, ‘I have seen the Lord.’  John 20:18

Image from our United Methodist sisters and brothers in Boston.

I passed by an Assemblies of God church yard yesterday (aka Holy Saturday) teeming with little ones in the frantic “search” for eggs.  Actually the eggs were strewn across the lawn and there wasn’t much searching involved. Instead it was Candy Mayhem as kids gathered eggs as if their lives depended on it.

Very few Christian communities ignore the egg and bunny rituals of Easter.  Never mind that fertility imagery smacks of Astarte and Ashtoreth rather than the God of Israel. But just try to remove the Annual Easter Egg Hunter (or the Bunny Brunch or the Easter Bonnet Fashion Show) from the church calendar and watch the fur fly.  Attendance is often higher at the Egg Hunt than Maundy Thursday or Good Friday services.

Every year, I pull out our family collection of White House Easter Eggs from our DC years and remember 1) that my dream job involves being the Coordinator of the White House Easter Egg Roll and 2) I loved this event with our kids.

Among the eggs our children received were one autographed by Barney Frank and another signed by Dan Burton.  In the 1990s – when our kids were young enough to roll Easter eggs on the White House lawn – Barney Frank represented the  4th District of Massachusetts and Dan Burton represented the 6th District of Indiana in the US House of Representatives.  They could not have been more different:

• Frank is a liberal Democrat. Burton is a conservative Republican.
• Frank is a Jewish atheist. Burton is a Christian.
• Frank is gay. Burton is not.
• As a member of Congress, Frank had a 100% rating from NARAL Pro-Choice America.   Burton had a 100% rating from the National Right to Life Committee.
• As a Congressman, Frank co-sponsored the “Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act.”  Burton had an A rating with the Gun Owners of America.

You get the picture.

So, here in my dining room, we have our Barney Frank egg and our Dan Burton egg, along with assorted others signed by everybody from Socks the cat to former Presidents.  But I love our Barney and Dan eggs the best because they remind me what resurrection is all about.

I doubt that Dan Burton and Barney Frank hang out together, but it’s possible that they could in an Easter World.  This is not to say that Easter is magic anymore than faith is magic.  (Note: Do yourselves a favor and listen to Brene explain faith right here.)

I believe in a God who can redeem the widest chasms between people who disagree, people who have hurt each other, people who hate each other.  We may not want to be redeemed, because it means that something has to die:  our dreams, our image of perfection, our stubbornness, our need to be right, our desire to please people.

But this is what Easter is all about.  It’s miraculous.  And in my house, the possibilities are evident in two eggs each held years ago by two very different people.  Jesus can even redeem the chasm between those guys.

Christ is risen.  Christ is risen indeed.

As I write this, I’m in need of a good pedicure. My purple Lenten nail polish is chipped. My heels are rough. It’s not pretty.

– I had a friend who never went barefoot although we spent many 4th of Julys at the beach. She also forbade flip flops in her presence.

– I know people who will get a pedi today on the off chance someone will try to wash their feet tonight.

– I know a church who kicked and screamed about including a foot washing on Maundy Thursday because it was “too Catholic” or “too embarrassing.” They finally allowed the washing of children’s feet because “they are too young to be self-conscious.”

What is it about feet?

Do feet themselves make us uncomfortable as a body part? Are they so easily hidden under socks that we neglect them and we are ashamed? Do we want to keep the horrible secret to ourselves that our feet sweat a lot or have warts?

Pretty feet don’t come naturally at a certain age and rubbing someone’s feet is an act of intimacy and humility. It would be less intimate to rub someone’s back or brush their hair, or even tell them they have spinach in their teeth.

Maybe we just don’t want someone to look at our feet, much less touch them. In public.

But this is what Jesus did. Take away the cultural differences, and I still find this extraordinary.

But did they share their call stories?

Relational meetings are The Thing for those of us who seek a community organizing model of ministry.  We want to connect.  We want to understand each other.  We want to hear the stories of the Other.

But merely connecting is not enough for many of us.  We also want meetings during which Practical Things Get Done.

So, what makes a good meeting?

• A gathering during which relationships have been enhanced? Or
• A gathering during achieves tangible or measurable outcomes?

We probably want both, but one will dominate.

Consider a church board meeting of – say – 12 elders.  They have been elected to ensure that education, worship, mission, and financing happens in a congregation.  But they have also been charged with being spiritual leaders.

Sharing their own faith stories, personal challenges, joys, doubts and hopes enhances their ability to lead others.  It clarifies who they are to each other.  It’s important for bonding.

But there are also budgets to write and curricula to select and volunteers to equip.  Calendars require our attention.  Community and global issues need consideration.

The worst kind of meetings are those during which nothing gets done: neither relationship building nor practical accomplishments.

Which is dominant on the governing boards of your organization?

• Relationships are nurtured.
• Practical business is accomplished.
• Nothing happens.

It’s a real question.  I’m curious.

Image source.  This is the famous photo of a meeting of 29 of the most famous scientists in the world in 1927.