A Church for Starving Artists

I don’t have much to say today, but Vu Le does.  He’s a non-profit guy in the
Seattle area and he appreciates unicorns. He also writes a provocative blog.

We in the church are always on the lookout for unicorns:

• 20-somethings interested in joining The New Members’ Class.
• Tenors who never travel during the Christmas or Easter seasons.
• Young adults with no student loans and lots of time on their hands who want to a) tithe and b) spend their weekends at church events.
• Pillars of the Church who love the idea of changing everything.

In reality, all of us can be unicorns, according to Vu Le’s Mantra.  In these hectic days, there are increasingly leaders who understand that it’s not the church’s job to program people to the point of exhaustion or shame.  Instead, we are called (my word, not Vu’s) to use our gifts to transform the world for good.  We will not always succeed at this, but there is grace and there is forgiveness and there are second and thousandth tries.    I wouldn’t say that we are all “awesome and sexy” non-profit unicorns but there is something glorious about wanting to make the world better.  (Some of us do this in the name of Jesus.)

I enjoyed reading this article over the weekend – especially the part about The Misery Olympics.  Our miseries not only take up a lot of time; they also take up a lot of energy.

Whether we are sharing that time we spent 3 days giving birth or that time we moved twice in one year or the time we lost our passport and our phone in Malta, we all compare and contrast our agony quotients.  Of course there are real traumas that take much time and effort to process:  the fiery crash, the cancer, the house flood, the unspeakable  betrayal.  But most of us do not live in the Misery Olympics every day.

Also over the weekend, there was a wedding.  It was holy and heartfelt and kind of perfect.  It was potentially complicated but – turns out – not so much.  It rained.  Nobody cared, really.  It was a testimony to hope and hospitality and goodness and the best that the Church can be.

Imagine spending more time talking about The Pure Joy Olympics.  That time we watched a team of little girls in ponytails run laps about the soccer field laughing at the end of practice on that perfect spring day as the sun was setting.  That time we thought __ might die but she lived and even got out of bed the next day.  That time a neighbor met an older lady who was lost on her way to a party and she offered to drive with her there and then walk home.  That time you sat surrounded by friends and felt enormously blessed.

The Pure Joy Olympics.  Let’s play.

This post is dedicated to my sisters in Christ – the brides.  Photo by TBC.

Ira Glass, Sylvia Poggioli, Neda Ulaby, Kai Ryssdal, Jim Zarroli, Korva Coleman, Soraya Sarhaddi Nelson, Lourdes Garcia-Navarro, Dina Temple-Raston.

NPR fans know these fabulous names. We wake up to their voices.  Their stories inform and entertain us on the way to work. They reflect everything from name hypothesization trends to racial-ethnic diversity.  Yes, the NPR staff includes more common (to people in the U.S.) names like Michelle Norris (although she pronounces it MEE-shell) but most of their names reflect global poetry and the diversity of 21st Century life.

This article makes the point that – if we look over the names of our co-workers, neighbors, etc. – we might find that NPR names are not so different from the names of people we work with or live among.

I would say that this is not the case if we live in rural Nebraska or Kansas.  But I could be wrong about that.

Just for fun, take a look at the list of surnames in your church rolls.  Do they include the most common surnames in North America (Smith, Jones, Davis, Thompson)?  Do your rolls also include such common North American names as Gonzales, Garcia, and Cruz?  Do the rolls include twenty people with the same last name? (That’s a special kind of ministry.) Any Wangs?  Kims?  Nguyens?  Smirnovs? Məmmədovs? Wójciks?  Singhs? Khourys? Effiongs?

As I ponder what the church will look like in the next decade and beyond, I believe that our rolls will sound more like the NPR staff roster than the names on the church rolls of my childhood.  At least, this is my hope.

Image of Sylvia Poggioli.  Nobody says her name with more flair than Sylvia Poggioli.

Quick answer:  No.

At a recent meeting, a group of church leaders talked about the gift of boundaries, and someone mentioned the very real notion that we might be considered rude if we keep healthy boundaries.  (Thank you M.)

Especially as pastors, we are expected to say “yes” to every request with a happy “I love Jesus” face.  And if we don’t, we are a disappointment.

Two fun examples from my parish ministry days:

• The bride from my most recent wedding was back from her honeymoon one Sunday morning, and as I was about to enter the sanctuary to lead worship, she stopped me and wanted to show me her wedding pictures.  Worship was about to start and so I said, “Worship is about to start and I need to get to my seat.”  I never saw her again.  She sent me an email later, telling me how she had never experienced such a rude pastor and she thought that she and her new husband had been special to me.  She was showing me her wedding pictures as a favor to me because she knew I would want to see them, etc. etc. etc.
• A church member asked me to go visit her boss in the hospital because her boss didn’t have a pastor and the boss was really sick and wanted to have a pastoral visit.  I visited the boss.  She was an atheist who was ticked off that I had dropped by.  Lesson learned. Every time after that – when I was asked to visit a parishioner’s unchurched father-in-law, next door neighbor, cousin, or college roommate – I would say that I would only visit at their request.  One person said – when I told her I would not be able to visit her babysitter’s mother in the hospital –   “I thought it was your job to visit people in need.”  Note:  I can’t humanly visit every person in need, especially when it’s not even their idea/expectation/request.

Good Boundaries  = Healthy Relationships.  We all know pastors (and others in helping professions) with terrible boundaries, and I’m not even talking about misconduct issues.

Even Jesus set aside some alone time.  And we aren’t Jesus.

Some people will consider us rude.  That’s okay.

I am the weak sister of book groups.  

Over the years, I’ve been in several and I am consistently frustrated because I didn’t take time to read the book, or the location involves logistical gymnastics, or a pastoral emergency arose that night, or I was too embarrassed to say that I was really there for the wine/dessert/coffee/companionship and I didn’t even care about the book.

But I’m a big fan of One Book/One Church projects.  (Or One Book/One City.) I would love for the wider church to read the same book this summer and talk about it among ourselves.

Urban Village Church in Chicago – one of my favorite churches – is reading Rescuing Jesus by Deborah Jian Lee this summer.  Check out the plan here. Frankly, this plan feels more complicated than I can handle.  (It could be a hectic summer.) But I’m wondering about doing something rogue-ish.  Not a series of meetings but just one gathering on one night sometime this summer.

As well, I am encouraging you – wherever you are – to read this book and simply gather with friends on one night or on a breezy afternoon under a big umbrella to talk about what it has historically meant to be “evangelical” and what it increasingly means to be “evangelical” today in the 21st Century Church.

Note to the media: Please stop hijacking “evangelical” to make it a political label.

Note to everybody: There are lots of people of color/women/LGBTQ folks engaged in changing the world for good in the name of Jesus Christ.

I am an evangelical Christian.  I believe that following Jesus is the best way to live.  I consider the Hebrew and Greek Bible to be the unique and authoritative witness for our lives.  I believe we are saved for and from many things that seek to destroy us and separate us from God and each other.  I believe that we are all broken and ridiculous, but love – as displayed through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus – changes everything.

I’d like to be in a worldwide group with you, my friends, to read this book.  Who’s in?

Repeat after me:

It’s not  – and never again will be  – about getting new members.

On the heels of Mothers’ Day, I’ve been thinking about a couple of important and unimportant things:

• An historic Mother Church is counting down to a terrible anniversary in forty days.
• KFC’s biggest sales day is – not kidding about this – Mothers’ Day. Lots of moms got buckets of chicken yesterday.
• Denise Anderson and I will be visiting The Mother Ship in Louisville in a couple weeks to prepare for our stand as Co-Moderator of the PCUSA.

As I meet with church leaders and am asked how to get young families to join the church time and time again, I realize that The Mother of All Church Culture Shifts is this one:  It’s not and never again will be about getting new members.

As always, the question is “why?”

• Why are we offering a Bible study in the back room of a bar on Wednesday nights?
• Why are we starting a new worship service on Sunday nights?
• Why are we feeding homeless adults on Friday nights?
• Why are we opening a pre-school?

It’s not about getting people to join our churches.  It’s about making disciples. It’s about serving the community.  It’s about loving our neighbors.  It’s about loving God.

It’s never, ever again about building the membership and subsequently adding to our coffers and subsequently helping our congregations survive.  Jesus didn’t die to perpetuate an institution.

Old message.  Saying it one more time.  Thanks for reading.

Image of a church sign seen on vacation a few years ago.  Never let anyone put this message on your church sign.

Amy Poehler wrote in her book Yes, Please that her motto is “Good for you.  Not for me.”  She considers it part of her feminist code.  If you want to breastfeed until your child is five, do it.  But it’s okay if I don’t.  If you want to go to church on Saturday night in a laundromat , that’s great. But if I want smells and bells on Sundays at 11 am, that’s great too.

I’ve written before that – in the 21st Century Church – there is no one way to do things.  What works for Church A may not work for Church B.  It’s okay.  It’s good, even.

A few months ago, I was doing a gig about 21st Century Church for a church group and at the Q&A part at the end – after all I’d said about culture shifts and generational trends –  a lovely retired man bedecked in a jacket and bowtie asked:

How do we get men to start wearing suits to church again?

It would be easy to slam palm to forehead and say, “Didn’t you listen to a word I said?”  But the better answer is about personal devotion.

If that gentleman loves God by wearing a suit to church, he should keep wearing suits to church.  But if the little girl down the pew wears a soccer uniform to church because she was at a soccer game before worship, good for her.  She and her family made a special effort to show up.

This is a surprisingly huge shift for some of our congregations.

While the sight of seeing a man in a tee-shirt sitting beside a woman in Ann Taylor sitting beside a homeless man who smells a little sitting beside a millennial with a cup of coffee all on the same row in church might make some worshipers feel judge-y, it would make others feel like they were seeing the Reign of Heaven up close and personal.

And it’s not just about clothing.  Some devout believers are Republicans and some devout believers are Democrats.  Some go to shopping malls on Sundays and some practice Sabbath by staying home and playing board games with the kids.

There is more than one way to worship God.  There is more than one way to show devotion to God.  If I don’t understand your way or you don’t understand my way, can we simply see each others with the eyes of Jesus and appreciate that we are together as sisters and brothers in Christ?  Maybe what’s good for them is not for us, and that’s okay.

Image from this article about What to Wear to Church.

Remember Lemmon, S.D.?

Kathleen Norris wrote about Lemmon in her 1993 memoir Dakota.  I remember reading that McDonald’s wouldn’t even open a store in Lemmon. (The closest McDonald’s 20+ years later is still an hour and a half away.)

These days, Lemmon is better known for being the real location of the grizzly bear attack featured in Revenant.  A grizzly bear.  The one who tried to kill Leo DiCaprio.

According to the statistical reports in my denomination, the PCUSA church in Lemmon, SD has about 40 in worship and is yoked with another church, both being served by a temporary supply pastor from another denomination.  This is rather typical for many of our rural congregations – and even for some of our suburban and urban congregations.

Last week, this article sparked my fancy.  I’ve been reading articles about the populations shifts from rural America to urban America.  People increasingly live in cities now and many rural towns are dying and I won’t go into all the reasons for this, but you probably have a good idea.

My first parish out of seminary was in a village of less than 700.  The closest grocery store was ten miles away, although there were two small convenience stores along Main Street.  It was lonely for a 20-something single clergywoman.

Most seminary graduates want to live in or near cities. Most seasoned pastors want to live in cities or close by suburbs.  It makes total sense.   It’s easier to make friends, find work for their spouses, date if you don’t have a spouse.  Life feels less like it’s happening in a goldfish bowl.

So what will happen to our rural congregations in the next generation?  Can tiny towns with few jobs and dwindling – or non-existent – endowments afford a professional pastor?  Will pastors choose to serve in rural areas if it means that their lives will be limited in terms of opportunities for their families?

Yes, our churches can also be served by lay people in some denominations and by ruling elders (who are not lay people) in my denomination.  Maybe we will return to circuit riders.

But I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  How many of you – gentle readers – are pastors of rural congregations?  How many of you are members of rural congregations?  How many of you have even been to a rural congregation?

Those in the smallest communities in our land obviously need and deserve spiritual community.  What will that look like in 2020 and beyond?

Image of “downtown” Schaghticoke, NY where I first served in professional ministry after seminary.

We all know that at least one presidential candidate wants to get back to that time when America was its greatest, but it’s unclear when that was exactly.

Margot Sanger-Katz wrote this for The NY Times Tuesday asking “When was America greatest?”  2000+ United States citizens were surveyed and their answers to this question varied widely.

The years most voted “the greatest” were 1955, 1960, 1970, 1985, 2000, 2008, and 2015.  But what was “great” for some people was not so great for everyone:

• 1955 – No wars, Baby boom (But Claudette Colvin was arrested on March 2 for refusing to give up her bus seat to a white woman in Montgomery, Alabama.  She was handcuffed, kicked and harassed on the way to jail.  She was 15 years old.  And this was legal.)
• 1960 –  Hawaii joined the USA!  Cassius Clay won the Olympic gold medal in boxing. (But four African America students were arrested for sitting at a “white lunch counter” in Greensboro.  And it was ugly.  Jim Crow laws would still be in effect for five more years.)
• 1970 – 18 year olds get the vote! Earth Day is established.  (But at a protest on the campus of Kent State University, the National Guard shot 67 rounds of gunfire in 13 seconds, killing four students.)
• 1985 – Ronald Reagan is President! (But AIDS killed 5636 people in the U.S.)
• 2000 – The unemployment rate drops to a low of 3.8%, the lowest since December 1969.  (But the USS Cole was bombed by Al-Qaeda suicide bombers killing 17 in Yemen.)
• 2008 – Obama is elected president.  Ice is discovered on Mars. (But the worst financial crisis since the 1930s peaks.)
• 2015 – Lowest violent crime rate since 1995.  (But three young Muslim students were killed by a neighbor in Chapel Hill, NC. Freddie Gray was killed while in police custody in Baltimore.  Nine people are killed during a Bible study at Mother Emmanuel Church in Charleston, SC by a white supremacist.  Sandra Bland died in police custody after her arrest for a traffic violation in Texas.)

When was the U.S. the greatest?  It depends who you talk to.

And when were the greatest years for your church?  Again, it depends.

• When the Sunday School was bursting at the seams?
• When stay-at-home moms were so plentiful that there was never a problem finding volunteers?
• When the titans of industry built magnificent sanctuaries?
• When the choir toured in Europe?
• When Mainline churches enjoyed political and cultural power?
• When non-denominational mega churches grew in power?
• When evangelists got TV shows?
• When denominations built hospitals and schools?
• When denominations spoke up against injustice – even injustice perpetuated by national and international powers?
• When men were pastors and women were pastors’ wives?
• When everybody dressed in their Sunday best?

I guest preached in a gorgeous sanctuary a few years ago and as we waited for the prelude to end, I found myself staring up at the glorious Tiffany windows and the gold leaf painted dome.  “What are you looking at?” the liturgist said.  “I‘m just marveling that someone would love Jesus so much that they would give the money to create this amazing space.”

“Oh, it wasn’t like that at all,” the liturgist continued.  “Those two windows were bought by (a wealthy industrialist) and then (another wealthy industrialist) donated four windows to show that he was richer than the other guy.”

Ugh.

I can’t help but think that – actually – the greatest years for the church were in the First Century CE:

All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. Acts 2:44-47

I can’t help but think that – if we focused on ministry that looked more like ministry in the First Century – the church would indeed be greater.  What do you think?

Yesterday, Rachael Ray – the celebrity cook – was confused with Rachel Roy – the fashion designer who allegedly was the subject of Beyonce’s Lemonade released over the weekend. For several hours it was ugly.  And then Twitter hilarity ensued. (“Stop coming for poor Rachael Ray. She just wants to make brunch.”)

As #RachaelRay trended on Twitter, many suggested that this would be an excellent time for her to drop a lemon-centric cookbook.

Media specialists call this a crisitunity.

Pastors need to learn how to do this: take a crisis and use it for something positive to the glory of God.  Consider the crises that churches face:

• Sanctuary floods/burns down/get’s blown away in a tornado.
• Church staff member disappears/lands in jail/joins the circus.
• Protesters march outside church building (for reasons that embarrass rather than make Mom proud.)

What’s a Pastor to do?  Hiding is not a an option.

Kellie Anderson-Picallo – who knows something about crisitunities –  taught my preaching group last week some helpful tips:

1. Don’t be a victim.  Talk about the positive aspects of – even – a difficult situation:  The religious community is pulling together. This is a great time to remind people that we are a people of faith. We are grateful for the support of our neighbors.  
2. Use appropriate humor.  Try my new lemonade recipe.
3. Now is the perfect time to reorganize/rebuild. We always wanted to install screens in the sanctuary and now we can (since we have to rebuild it anyway.)

So, again:  Rachael (with an “ae”) – it’s time to get your Honey Vanilla Lemonade Recipe out there.  And churches:  if you are facing a crisis, make your own lemonade.